A Reason
by Hafthand
Summary: Draco stands in the Great Hall one last time, until he catches sight of her. Update: Chpt 28: The End.
1. A Reason

**Title: A Reason**

**Rating: PG**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: Draco's thoughts as he stands in the Great Hall for the last time and catches site of her.**

**Disclaimer: Sooooo not mine! J.K.'s!**

* * *

He stared up at the massive crowd of happy people before him. He was standing alone in a sea of happiness and triumph. Hell, even his fellow Slytherins had smiles on their faces. But he cared about none of them. His eyes rested on one person and one person only. She was laughing and hugging her parents and talking excitedly with her two best friends. He envied Harry and Ron, he truly did. They got to spend each day with her and be the cause of those beautiful smiles.

He looked down at the piece of parchment in his hand with sadness. His stay at Hogwarts was now ended and he had this small piece of paper to prove it. "Head boy too. Father would have been proud," he whispered harshly to no one in particular. He glanced up at the crowd again. Everyone here had someone, everyone had people that loved and cared about them, but not him. Not Draco Malfoy, and well, that had been his choice. He looked up and saw her walking towards a table with the Golden Boy, and the Weasel. He laughed slightly as he thought this. He hadn't called them that in ages. It felt good.

He couldn't stand it any more; all the happiness here would suffocate him if he couldn't get out. He was about to turn, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked up into old, sparkling eyes. "Hello, Draco," Dumbledore's soft voice greeted him.

"Professor," he replied.

"Congratulations on the completion of your studies. I am very proud of all that you have accomplished while here at this school, Mr. Malfoy," he said quietly for Draco's ears alone.

Malfoy glanced sharply up at him, wondering if his words had double meanings here. The things he had done, the things he still had yet to do, Dumbledore knew about, and he had sworn never to tell. "Thank you, Professor, but it isn't over yet."

Dumbledore smiled sadly and looked out into the crowd of people, "No, Mr. Malfoy, I am afraid it is just beginning." He paused and Draco could see him looking at The Golden Trio. "Do you think, Mr. Malfoy, do you think it will all come out right in the end?"

He paused before answering and looked at her once more. She was throwing her head back with laughter and relief. Her hair, he noticed, was still as bushy as the first day he had met her. He grimaced slightly as he remembered that day. He had been so young, and so naive, but what was done was done. "I think for some, Professor, it will come right. For some."

"And for her?" Dumbledore asked knowingly.

"If I have anything to do with it, yes!" Draco answered vehemently.

"I notice, young Mr. Malfoy, that you are alone on this wonderful day. In fact you are always alone these days. What you have done for me, and for them, though they may not know it, has been extraordinary. Do not let the past force you into seclusion. Do not let your fear cause you pain. You deserve to be happy, at least for today. You have done more than should be required for one your age. Do not weep over the past. Do not let it haunt you." And with that he turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Draco alone again staring at her and remembering.

* * *

"Thank Merlin, no more Snape," Ron sighed with relief as he sat surrounded by his family and friends.

"I know. If I had to take...damnit, he is staring at us again," Harry said through clenched teeth. Hermione turned to see that he was right; Draco Malfoy was staring at their little group again, as he had been for months now.

"Well, at least after today, he won't be able to anymore," she said matter of factly. She glanced over her shoulder and caught his eyes. "He has been so quiet lately, so different. I don't think he has said a word to any of us since his father died," she whispered to Harry and Ron while still staring into his sad grey eyes. Draco continued staring back lost in his memories.

"Oh come on, Hermione, who could be sad that that git is dead?" Ron said harshly.

"I don't know, Ron, I think she is right," Harry said. "He hasn't been- well, Malfoy." Harry looked across the happy Hogwarts students and saw Malfoy returning Hermione's gaze, seemingly lost in his own mind. "I wonder what happened anyway?"

* * *

He saw her looking at him and matching his gaze, her brown orbs never wavering from his. Before he could help it, the memories flooded back…

_"She must be killed, she is too dangerous."  
_

_"The Dark Lord wants her dead. He is leaving this up to me."  
_

_"Father, you can't kill her. Dumbledore would retaliate."  
_

_"She is a mudblood, she deserves nothing but death. She is dangerous to His plans." _

_"I need to speak to you, Professor Dumbledore. I know what they are going to do next. I know who they are after."  
_

_"If he finds out I betrayed him I am dead."_

_"I will offer you my protection."_

_"NOOOOOOOOOOooooo..._

Draco awoke from his daydream at the memory of his father's screams. He had been found out, and they had come for her, but Draco had fought back, and not alone. He had killed his father. Because of her, he had killed his blood. He saw her still staring at him. He could see in her eyes questions, questions he would never answer. After today, he doubted he would ever see her again. His cold heart ached at that thought, but it is what had to be done.

He could recall when he had started to change, and when he had started to view her in a different light. But it had taken years until he had killed for her. He had saved her very existence while condemning his and she would never know. At that moment Draco found his feet carrying them over towards her, against his will. He saw the surprise and slight fear in her eyes, but he had to say good-bye.

He continued walking till he was looking down at her. All conversation at the table ceased. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Weasley and Potter glaring daggers at him, but he didn't care, he only had eyes for her. He saw her glance uncertainly around her, and then look to her left as someone from the table got up.

Draco turned to see who was approaching him.

Remus Lupin had stood up and walked slowly towards Malfoy. He stopped in front of him and took in his appearance. No longer a boy, but a man, a man with secrets and a lot of pain. Remus recalled what had happened, the owl from Dumbledore, the fight to save the girls life, the man before him killing his own blood to save the life of one he was destined to hate. Remus had been there and not told a soul. Draco's life would be forfeit if the world knew.

Draco watched Lupin studying him, wondering if he was going to address him. Slowly, Remus stuck his hand out, his eyes never leaving Draco's. Draco reached for his hand and shook it firmly. He would never have thought he would be shown decency and respect by this werew- no this man. "Take care, Mr. Malfoy." And with that Remus released his hand and walked back to his seat beside Potter who was looking incredulous at the scene before him.

He looked back to see her looking up at him curiously, wondering if he would bite. Draco slowly put his hand out before him. She stared at it as though wondering if it was poisonous then looked back up into his eyes. Whatever she found there, she slowly stood up and gently took his hand in hers.

"What the f-?" Ron had started only to be shushed by a growl from Remus.

"Uh, congratulations, Malfoy. Must be glad school is over?" She said nervously, her soft, warm hand still in his. He stared into her eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. He could think of nothing. He looked down at their hands and slowly released hers from his. She stood before him now more confused then ever.

But then the words came to him and he looked into her eyes. "I'm not perfect, Granger. Hell, I know I hurt you and that is something I have to live with. I never meant to do those things to you and I am sorry. But before I go, before I leave here and never look back, I need you to know, that I found a reason to change. A reason to start over." He paused. "You." She gasped slightly at his words and the look in his eyes, but it had to be said. He could go now. He could rest now, knowing she wassafe. Nothing mattered anymore, not the pain, not the scars; she was safe.

"Good-bye Hermione," Draco said softly and smiled a real smile for the first time. He turned away from her beautiful face, and walked across the Great Hall through the throng of happy students and parents. Whatever happened to him now, it didn't matter. And without a backward glance, Draco Malfoy left Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

* * *

**Well? Any thoughts? First Harry Potter fic so a little nervous with it. What Draco said to Hermione is from Hoobastank's song, "The Reason". I absolutely love it! I know it is a tad corny but if you have never heard the song download it, find it somewhere as it is amazing and I pretty much based this fic off the song. Well all, hope you have a good day!**

**Love, Ally  
"In the end Captain, we all stand alone."**


	2. Never A Reason

**Title: Never A Reason**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: PG**

**Summary: Hermione looks back on a night not long ago and sees someone she never thought she would see again.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.**

* * *

I saw him once, not long after Hogwarts. I don't think he saw me, and if he did, he made no indication that he had. I was in London, and had decided to take the Muggle way home from the ministry, the subway. I was in a hurry to get home to the warmth of my flat after a busy winter day, and rushed onto the underground just as the doors were closing. As usual at this hour, there was the rush hour press, so abandoning any hope of finding a seat in what Harry would fondly call a mosh-pit, I steadied myself against the pole by the door, fishing out my book from my bag.

I settled myself in for a forty-five minute journey that Ron is constantly complaining about. He doesn't understand why I would bother wasting forty-five minutes standing in a human sardine tin instead of apparating. I have tried explaining to him, that at least once a week I try and take the subway or my ancient car to remind myself that I may be a witch, but I was once a Muggle. His response: "You're mental."

Harry gets it a little, I think. He never brings it up, but I think he understands the need to escape the pressures of the magical world for even just an hour. Things can be so hectic these days, that sometimes I feel the need to breathe and can't. Harry gets that, he always has. Ron has never known anything but the magical world, but I think, when it gets really rough, he envies Harry and I our past in the Muggle world.

I let out a sigh as I push the stray thoughts from my mind and try to concentrate on the pages of the worn book before me. I am having little success as the rocking of the train, the heat of the carriage, and the muttering of the passengers send me into a kind of daze. I lower the book and allow my gaze to travel across the other passengers, not really taking in the details. The train begins to slow as we approach the next stop and a few passengers get up and try to push their way through the crowd to the doors.

It is then, when I am forced to venture further into the carriage, that I see the shock of white-blonde hair that sends my thoughts reeling back to a night not quite two years ago. A night I think about too often these days. A night that sends odd shivers down my spine. I remember his eyes, staring deeply into mine; his hand slowly reaching for mine; his eyes almost begging me to take his hand. I remember too well the words he spoke to me with no explanation whatsoever.

I shake myself from these thoughts and try to get a better view of the face that belongs to that hair. Parts of me are hoping it is him, but why? Surely, Draco Malfoy, purest of the purebloods would never be sitting on a Muggle underground in the heart of London?! But then again, Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Prince extraordinaire, would never have said what he had to me that night. I have learned, these past few years, that the world is full of surprises. Events you could never hope for, come barreling around the corner, colliding with your world. That is how I feel now as an old woman in a over-the-top red hat shifts over to make room for a young woman and her child. It is then that Draco Malfoy's face becomes visible.

My breath goes slightly ragged, but I push this off to the heat of the carriage. I allow my eyes to drink him in. His hair hangs limply below his ears, falling beautifully over his eyes. The same grey eyes I caught staring at me so often. He was dressed as a muggle in what I could only assume were expensive designer clothes. Black designer clothes of course. He sat reading an old hardcover book with what seemed great intensity. I had to admit, he looked good. Very good. But he also looked very lost. As lost as he had that day, so many months ago when he came over to me on his last night in Hogwarts.

I still have no idea what had possessed him to say such things to me, or why Remus treated him with such pained respect. I still have no idea what I was a reason for, or what he even meant by that. Harry and Ron had interrogated Remus all night about the handshake, but Remus simply shook his head and looked at me with even sadder eyes then he normally carried. Surprisingly Mrs. Weasley had a tear running down her face as she watched Malfoy walk from the hall. She had turned to Ron when he had began to insult Malfoy and said, "Don't you dare. Do you hear me, Ronald Weasley? Don't you dare. You don't know... you have no idea..." her eyes traveling to gaze at me sadly.

But Mr. Weasley had then put a comforting arm around his wife and they had gone off to find Ginny. "Well, I would if you would have told me something," Ron muttered once she was out of earshot.

I had started getting tired of everyone looking at me that way, so I approached Remus, when Harry and Ron had run off to find Neville. "Professor Lupin," I had muttered, not wanting to intrude on his silence.

He looked up at me slowly and smiled. "Too many people have lost so much in this war, Hermione, too many. And it isn't over yet." His eyes focused on me for the first time and the smile fell from his face. "Don't you throw your life away, don't you dare. It's too precious now." And with that he downed his drink and went to find solace elsewhere leaving me even more confused.

Seeing him now, sitting quietly reading as though back in the library at Hogwarts, I find all my old memories and questions flood back with such an intensity that I begin to get angry. Angry because this stranger has held such power over my life, and I don't know why. My anger is cut short as the train begins its approach to the next station. More people push their way to the doors and I have a perfectly unobstructed view of the mystery that is Draco Malfoy.

I consider for a moment what I am going to say to him after all this time, or even if I should say anything at all. He had disappeared from our world that night at Hogwarts. No one had seen him since. Every time Ron would suggest that Malfoy had become a Death-Eater and was in hiding, Mrs. Weasley, or even Remus, would quickly silence him. They would never explain why. They would just get a pitying look in their eyes, glance quickly at me, then change subject.

No, I decide, I will say something to him. There have been to many glances shot my way and I want an explanation. The train stops and expels its passengers, as I gather up the courage to approach this ghost from my past. I silently laugh at myself. I have faced death countless times, yet talking to Draco Malfoy puts butterflies in my stomach. Just then the train picks up speed again and Malfoy looks up. I hold my breath, half of me willing him to look my way, the other half praying he won't. Instead he gets up from his seat, which is quickly taken by a pretty brunette in a skirt and high heels, who seems to find Malfoy's ass very attractive.

He is unaware though. His haunting eyes don't come my way, they seek the exit closest to him and he pushes his way towards it. I leave my reasons behind and fight my way to his end of the carriage. The train is slowing in its approach to the next stop and I try to move faster towards him wondering as I do what I could possibly say to him. An elderly man glances grumpily at me as I apologize for treading over his foot, but I continue onwards. As I draw nearer, the train stops. I push my way faster the last few feet and finally reach the doors just as they open.

He steps out and before I can think I shout his name, "Draco!"

He pauses then and I wait for him to turn my way. But it soon becomes apparent that he has not heard me. He has paused while he searches his pockets for some unknown object, which upon finding resumes his journey out of the tunnel and up to the world above.

I lean against the now shut doors and watch as his lonely figure slowly fades from my view. I sigh in frustration and loss. Now I will never have a reason, no reason at all. No reason for past events. I retrieve my forgotten book from my bag and wait for my journey home to end.

I saw him once, not long after Hogwarts. But I don't think he saw me.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**'In the end Captain, we all stand alone."**


	3. Still My Reason

**Title: Still My Reason**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: M  
**

**Summary: Draco on his brief encounter in the train**

**Disclaimer: If it was mine then I would be wearing really expensive shoes right now and not just my socks!**

* * *

I saw her once, just after Hogwarts. I know she saw me. How could I not? Her gaze was like fire the instant she caught sight of me sitting in the muggle train. It took all my willpower to not look at her, too not see her beautiful eyes staring back into mine. I had no doubt that she was wondering why the hell I was on a muggle train in the first place. Truth be told, I was wondering why she was even on it.

I had to fight hard not to meet her gaze so I continued on as though I was reading the book before me, but I didn't see the words. How could I concentrate on anything now that she was looking at me? Fear began to creep into my head, a cold fear that had not gripped me since at Hogwarts when I had given up so much so she could be happy. Happy without me. As far as I knew, she still had no idea about the past, about how close she came to dying that night. As far as I knew, she had not thought about me since I left. As far as I knew, she still thought I was evil.

That night, as I had walked from the Great Hall, I knew then and there I would never return to Hogwart's. My time there had ended and an unknown future had presented itself to me. I had not fled from the hall as I had thought I would have. No I had said my good-bye and walked out with my head high. But then what? What lay ahead for an orphaned wizard with no friends, no allies, and no hope? I didn't know and I didn't care.

I was no longer Lucius Malfoy's prodigy son, Death Eater to be, but I was also no longer a student under the protective gaze of Dumbledore. My life was destined for the shadows now. I had to make sure no one knew. I had to make sure they thought I was dead. Dumbledore had made clear the importance of keeping certain things hidden, and he also made clear his wish that I could have stayed under his protection. It was impossible however, for me to have stayed at Hogwarts. There was a spy creeping the corridors of the school; a spy that had almost succeeded in its mission. We didn't know who it was; oh I had my suspicions, but that's all they were.

So I had erased the existence of a certain Draco Malfoy and had watched silently from the sidelines as the battle raged on, creeping my way through the rubble, neither side gaining much ground. I had heard all about the heroics of Potter and his little army, but I didn't care. I had done the right thing. It had been worth it. She had been worth it. So, I was fine. Fine until I saw her picture in the paper once, and it was all I could do to not check on her. All I could do to not make sure she was okay. She had been smiling so happily, so care-free.

But, as ever, I knew I couldn't intrude on that. When I had been younger, I used to dream that I would tell her the whole truth and that, upon seeing I wasn't a monster, would grow to care for me, maybe even love me. Love. A feeling and a concept I had never known till her. A feeling that changed everything and nothing at the same time. I had often wondered what she would do if she had known that I, Draco Malfoy, pureblood, had fallen for her charms. She had become my reason. She became my conscience. But in the end I laughed at the childish idea. Love me? No one could do that, no matter what I had done for them. I was a Malfoy, love was not a concept I was supposed to understand. So instead I hide like a coward in the shadows.

Sadly, as my mind came back to the present, I knew I never wanted this train ride to end. I did not dare look at her, but even her mere presence had brought everything back for me. All too soon I could see her decide to approach me; I knew I had to flee. My stop was not for ages, but I couldn't risk talking to her again. I don't think I would have been able to walk away this time. So I rose from my seat and paid no attention to those around me as I made my way to the door. The train slowed and I could feel her getting closer. I was not to meet Miss Granger on this day, for all too soon the doors were opening and I was once again walking out of her life.

Then I heard her call out my name. "Draco!" So shocked was I at her use of my first name that I let my guard down and stopped. For a brief moment I had visions of what would happen if I were to just turn and acknowledge her presence. I saw us attempting to talk of past times like the friends we never were. I saw her asking me what had happened to me, and where I had been. All too soon I was once again remembering the look in her eye as I held her hand that night, long ago at Hogwarts. I remembered the questions in her brown eyes. I remembered the screams echoing from my father's mouth. I remembered then, why I had left and not looked back. She was safe. To turn towards her now would ruin everything I had worked towards.

No, she can't know I saw her. So I fumbled through my pockets looking for an imaginary object that upon finding allowed me to once again begin my exit from the station. I heard the doors close and thought it was over. Only this time I looked back. All reason had gone, everything I had just thought. I didn't care if she caught me or not. I needed one last look. So I turned quickly and found the train disappearing through the tunnel. As quick as she had reentered my life she had left it again. But it's okay. It had to be like this. I hadn't seen her in ages, but she was still my reason. I turned and walked up the stairs happier then I had been in a very long time. A dark path lay before me, but none of that mattered now.

I saw her once, after Hogwarts. I should never have let her see me.

* * *

**Love, Ally**


	4. Put It Down To Malfoy Pride, Okay?

**Title: Put It Down To Malfoy Pride, Okay?**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: M  
**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own.**

**A/N: Well all those reviews...(blushes) and here I thought this was going to be a one-off! Any who I hope you all like this chapter.**

* * *

He entered the dark muggle pub and let his eyes search the rather questionable clientele. It was a smoky, back alley pub with bad lighting, and even worse music. It was perfect for who he was hunting. He had been hunting him for a week with no luck until tonight. He saw his quarry and, making sure his hood sufficiently covered his face, stalked carefully toward his goal.

No one looked up from their drinks. No one bothered to take notice of the yellow fire his eyes possessed beneath his ragged cloak. No one let their eyes drift from their tables. But he didn't think for one minute they weren't all listening. He approached his prey and watched as the man threw back another drink, slamming the empty glass next to several others like it. He allowed a small smirk to tug at his lips as he pushed his way forward. Grabbing the seat next to the drunken man, he caught the attention of the bartender and signaled for a drink and sat down. The man next to him made no indication that he knew he was there.

Grabbing his drink from the ugliest bartender he had ever seen, he threw back the shot, slammed it to the table and turned towards the man. "She saw you, you know."

Having expected some reaction, he was rather surprised when the man simply nodded and said, "I know," his eyes never leaving the table.

"This causes a problem," the hooded man said softly turning to signal the bartender for another drink.

"I thought it might."

"Yet you let her see you?" his tired voice asked. "Draco, you should have-"

"I what?" Draco spat out, turning to look at the man for the first time. The fire in his eyes didn't frighten the man, only shook him to his core. "I should have what?"

"Well dyed your hair for one," the man said smiling slightly before knocking back another drink.

"Yeah well, put it down to Malfoy pride okay," Draco replied, visibly relaxing, the fire in his eyes changing into a deep tiredness.

"Yeah, well your Malfoy pride has the ministry buzzing, not to mention other, unsavory groups."

"She told on me," Draco spluttered, almost as if he were thirteen again.

"No, no not really. She told Harry and Ron that she saw you on the train. You can imagine what happened from there."

"Fuck Potter, and fuck Weasley as well. God-damnit. Should I be worried?" Draco asked looking unconcerned as he called over for another drink.

"Yes, yes I think you should," the man answered, pushing his hood back and running his hand tiredly through his hair. He took a deep breath and asked, "Why didn't you just turn away? Why let her see you after this long? You'll have to run again, you know this, so why did you do it?"

Knocking back the shot Draco winced slightly as the hard liquor burned down his already raw throat. "Run. No, I am sick of running. No more running for this Malfoy." When Draco saw the man was about to interrupt he continued quickly. "Why didn't I turn away? Would you have been able to Remus? Would you? God, I just wanted to walk right up to her and, and, well I don't know, but she was so close. Closer then she has been to me in a long time. I could have reached over and touched her she was that real to me."

Remus Lupin glanced worriedly at the young man next to him and sighed. "You have been alone too long Draco. I think you are starting to lose it."

"Yeah, well that makes two of us." Draco threw his head into his hands and growled loud enough so that several patrons turned to look at him. "God how could I have been so stupid!"

"Love does funny things to people."

"Oh, love huh? Is that what this is? I throw my life away cause some stupid, nerdy mudblood starts to grow on me a few years back? I turn my back on everyone and everything I knew just so she could live in blissful ignorance for the rest of her precious life? I kill my own flesh and blood for her knowing I will never get a thank you? Is this love Remus? Malfoy's don't love." And though Draco's words had been harsh, there had been no malice behind them. Remus could see that the young man before him, even after so long, had still not come to grips with the battle inside him. Remus didn't think Draco ever would. He knew exactly what the young man was going through.

"Love is most certainly not my specialty any more then it is yours. But you did a wonderful thing for someone you should by all rights have despised. Now that, well that is something isn't it. Even if she never knows, you saved her life and that forms a link, you know that," Remus said softly as he stood up. Now that he had warned the young man, it was time to go. He reached over and placed a firm grip on Draco's shoulder. "Whatever you decide to do, be careful. Don't let her, or anyone else cloud your judgment."

"You couldn't have given me that advice years ago?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"Yeah well, you wouldn't have listened then, and I truly doubt you'll listen now." Remus reached for his hood, pulling slowly over his head. "Be careful Draco. Reveal too much too soon, and you are asking for disaster. Take care." Remus turned to go but was stopped by Draco's voice.

"How did you find me anyway?"

"I hunted you. And you better believe if I can do it, so can they." And with that Remus left the muggle pub and disappeared into the awaiting darkness knowing full well he would be seeing Draco Malfoy very soon. He was young, and young men often allow their hearts to rule their actions, even if they didn't think they had a heart to begin with.

* * *

Draco sat in the pub drinking for a long time after Remus had left him. What was he supposed to do now? What possibilities lay before him? They knew. They all knew he was alive and kicking now, she had seen to that. But what did it matter anyway? Wasn't it about time he quit running, and step up with all the courage he used to brag about? But for which side? He practically laughed at that thought. It wasn't like he had a choice; he had made sure of that years ago.

Throwing back another drink he allowed his mind to wander back into the past. He let his mind wander to when he had first really and truly seen her.

_(Flashback)_

"Damnit, Malfoy, get the fuck off me," Hermione shrieked trying to push him away. Draco Malfoy had followed her after Arithmancy, one of the few times she was actually alone, and watched as she took a shortcut through deserted hallways. He had quickened his pace, grabbed her roughly by the arm and pushed her into an empty classroom. She had been so surprised she hadn't had time too react. He had slammed the door, thrown her against the wall, and was currently pinning her to it with the whole of his body. She felt small underneath him, small, but strong.

She was fighting hard against him, but years of Quidditch had toned his fifteen-year-old body, and he barely budged. "Malfoy," she shrieked, not in fear, but in anger.

"Shut up, Mudblood," he practically spat at her. He could see her wand beneath her robes and made quick work of throwing it across the room. Some of the fight went out of her for a moment after he did that, but then she redoubled her efforts. He grabbed her arms and pinned them against the wall by her head. He turned his heated and hateful gaze towards her and she stilled when his eyes met hers. She hadn't expected the intensity of his look, and frankly it frightened her.

Now that she had stilled, Malfoy let his eyes take her all in. Her bushy hair, petite face, small chest, boyish hips. He could not understand what the hell was so goddamned special about her. He continued staring at her for several minutes trying to find something, anything about her that could account for her strength, her intelligence. He finally brought his eyes back up to hers and saw the fear had gone only to be replaced by curiosity. Damn her and her Gryffindor courage. He was her better; she should be trembling in fear.

He leaned in and whispered harshly in her ear, "Tell me something, Mudblood. What makes you so goddamned special? What gives you the right to walk through these halls with your head held so high? You are nothing but dirt, you know that? Filthy and soiled. How is it that someone with your dirty blood, can achieve what you have? How is it that you feel you can walk where purebloods walk?"

"Jealous, Malfoy? Daddy been hard on you cause your grades aren't up to par? Mummy embarrassed caused her little prince is being shown up by a Mudblood?" Hermione spat back at him. A rage began burning in her eyes. A rage that almost made him drop her then and there and turn around. But he had a mission to do, and he wasn't going to let anything change that. "You know nothing about me and nothing about my blood. We are all the same you stupid git, open your eyes and stop being brainwashed." She said this so matter-of-factly that Malfoy knew she thought he was toying with her. Knew she thought he would never hurt her. Well, he would just have to take her down a peg or two.

Before she could see what he was doing, Malfoy reached into his own robes and pulled out a small silver dagger. The light from the torches in the classroom reflected off the surface of the blade, causing it to gleam brilliantly. Malfoy stared at the simple dagger wondering what it would feel like entering his skin. He wondered whether it would hurt much. He was brought out of his trance by her sharp intake of breath. He smiled maliciously, though his eyes remained blank, and brought the blade to her throat.

"Know nothing about you? I don't need to know anything about you, you filthy bitch. I know enough. Father gave this to me," he said glancing at the dagger, not daring to look into her eyes. He had never killed, never cut someone open and watched them bleed. He knew he was capable; it was something he had been born to do. The light playing off the blade seemed so very bright and inviting to him. He slowly lifted the blade from her throat and held it before him. The sharp blade mesmerized him. How easy to end it all right here. No more thoughts, no more scars, no more of anything.

It was her silence, more than anything, that finally made him meet her eyes. She should have been quivering in fear, she should have been crying, or screaming, or doing anything else except what she was. He saw her staring at the blade, watching the light play off its gentle edge. He saw her eyes stare invitingly at it. He saw her eyes practically begging him to do it. Thoughts ran through Draco's head in a flash, 'It couldn't possibly mean... but Granger was... miss perfect... Father said... She wants me to cut her, no she wants me to kill her!'

He stumbled backwards with the force of that realization, her eyes still on the dagger. He looked at her and he knew then. He knew it to his very core. He knew she was just like him; blood aside, she was just like him. He fled. He didn't look back, didn't care whom he ran over, Draco Malfoy fled for his life. He had thought he had her figured out, he had thought he knew exactly what she was. But that had all changed. And as he ran from her, that is when he started to fall. That is when it all started to go horribly wrong.

_(end flashback)_

He shook himself from his memories and stared at the empty glasses before him. He had seen a truth in her eyes that night that had never allowed him to look at her the same way again. He had never found out why she hadn't backed down from the blade, which he had thrown out, as far as he could, into the lake on the grounds and hadn't seen it since. "Arg, you're a fool, Malfoy," he growled out loud. The heads of several patrons around him turned towards him. He caught their looks and they backed down at the fierceness in his eyes.

He reached into his pocket and threw down some muggle money without looking to see how much. He got up from his stool and walked through the smoke-filled pub and out the door into the darkness. He paused then and looked down the road and then up the other way. Dark and fog both ways. "Wel,l Draco, now or never. Which way?" he asked the night. Nothing answered him, not even a soft trill of some bird. "Oh Fuck it, I've got nothing to lose," he said as he turned right and began walking.

'You could lose her,' a voice in the back of his mind shouted at him.

'I lost her a long time ago,' he shouted back.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**'In the end Captain, we all stand alone.'**


	5. Take The Train Again Mione?

**Title: Take The Train Again, Mione?**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: M  
**

**Summary: Hermione gets upset, and Remus is acting weird!**

* * *

I don't know why I told them. I had come home and sure enough they were there waiting for me already, as I had opted for the train. I smiled in greeting, put my coat on the hook and went to start dinner.

"Take the train again Mione?" Ron asked from the couch as he was attempting to beat

Harry in some mindless game boys never seem to outgrow and they make me keep in my flat for when they visit. They come over, officially, for dinner three times a week. Unofficially, well I have lost track of how many times I have found them on my couch, in my fridge, in my bath, behind the plant by the window. The latter is due to a spontaneous game of hide-an-seek I managed to interrupt one Wednesday night about a month ago. Who would guess these boys have fought the baddest of the bad and, well, come out alive?

Sundays however, are sacred. That is Burrow Day. Every Sunday since leaving Hogwart's we have all gathered at the Weasley's for some really outrageous feasts. Everyone who can make it comes. Just last Sunday Charlie Weasley had appeared for the occasion, causing great surprise all around. Neville had even brought his Gran, who proceeded to tell Dean, Seamus, Justin, Harry and Ron that they had absolutely no manners at all, while smiling sweetly at the Weasley Twins, who for some unknown reason, had decided to impress the poor woman. Most Sundays end up turning into an impromptu Quidditch match before everyone apparates home.

I sighed at the memory, having allowed my thoughts to wander as I watched the water slowly boil. Last Sunday had also played witness to another event, one the boys didn't know about. I had been helping Lavender clear the table and was headed to the kitchen to deposit the dishes when I overheard Charlie and Mrs. Weasley.

"I already told you Mum, there is no word of him," Charlie was saying while scrubbing a dish free of its extra food. "It's better that way, considering."

"Oh dear, well I suppose you're right. It is just that, well it's been so very long," Mrs. Weasley said and smiled up at her son. Suddenly she paused and said slowly, "You don't suppose, well, you don't think they killed him?"

"Dumbledore would have known Mum," Charlie replied causing Mrs. Weasley too visibly relaxed. "No, he isn't dead. I think Draco Malfoy will only be found when he wants to be found."

At the mention of his name I dropped one of the plates I had been carrying, ending any conversation in the kitchen as they bustled out to help me. I hadn't heard anyone mention Malfoy's name in what seemed like forever. It had been somewhat shocking. Which is why today had been so bizarre. Seeing Malfoy just sitting there, looking for all the world...normal. Nothing was making sense anymore. My life was full of too many questions these days and not enough answers.

My thoughts were interrupted as Harry entered the kitchen. "So what's for dinner then?" he asked, leaning casually against the counter, his unruly hair falling into his eyes and his hand stuffed in a cookie box.

I cast my eyes back to the now boiling water and reached for the box of pasta. Harry must have seen something in my eyes cause he asked, "You all right?"

I smiled as casually as possible, "Yes Mr. Potter, I am fine thank you." Laughing quietly at his expression, I spoke without pausing to think of the consequences, "You'll never believe it, but I saw Malfoy on the train ride home today."

"WHAT?" Ron screamed from the lounge.

And that is when the floodgates really opened.

* * *

A week later found me sitting at the Weasley's kitchen table helping Mrs. Weasley and Ginny prepare dinner. "So I told Padma that she should go with the violet colour instead of-"Instead of what I never found out because at that moment Remus Lupin swayed in from the dark, rainy outdoors.

"Evenin' Molly," he said with a lopsided smile while brushing rain all over the floor from his jacket. "There are certainly some lovely young ladies in here tonight," he said trying to wink at Ginny and myself.

"And where have you been?" Mrs. Weasley shrieked at him, pointing a carrot accusingly at his chest. Remus' eyes widened in surprise. "Don't think I can't smell the alcohol flowing off you in waves Remus Lupin. You get yourself to that bathroom and make yourself presentable for dinner or so help me," she shot at him. Mrs. Weasley chose to mother everyone, including drunk, wet werewolves.

"Yes Miss," replied Remus innocently enough, though with a gleam in his eye. Ginny was trying unsuccessfully to smother her giggles behind a parsnip.

Mrs. Weasley shot Ginny a warning look and whispered, "Don't you dare encourage him!"

"Arthur home from work yet?" Remus asked over his shoulder as he fled the room while trying to rip his shirt over his head. It wasn't working.

"No not yet. The clock shows him on his way though," Mrs. Weasley answered, turning back to her cooking and choosing to ignore his behaviour.

"Good. I found something tonight, something we thought we'd lost," Remus said, his voice now distant as he went to find the bath.

At his words, the carrot dropped from Mrs. Weasley's hand and a shocked look crossed her face. "Oh," she murmured, her eyes flicking quickly to mine. Suddenly she regained her composure and turned back around giving Ginny instructions on how to chop the parsnips just so with just the right spell.

I didn't have time to figure out what the something was because at that moment Harry and Ron entered noisily.

"Was that Lupin?" Ron asked, leaning over and giving him mum a peck on the cheek.

"Yes it was. Now you and Harry help Hermione. Your Father is on his way home and I expect to be eating while this is still hot."

Harry winked at me before magically floating the plates to the table. Suddenly a horrible sound could be heard from the inside of the house. Everyone froze. Ron reached for his wand. And then, "Blue Mooooooon, I saw you standing alooooone." Remus's voice from the shower echoed through the silence of the house in a horrible rendition of an old Muggle song.

"Good Lord. Is he drunk?" Said a surprised voice behind us. We all turned to stare at Arthur who had returned from work unnoticed.

"REMUS LUPIN!" Mrs. Weasley screamed while storming down the hall. Sounds of a door opening, water splashing, and a grown man screaming met our ears.

"She didn't?" Harry asked mouth agape.

"Oh I have no doubt that she did," Ron replied through his laughter.

* * *

The mood was light and full of good humour at the dinner table, but I found myself wishing I had refused the invitation. Though I will never forget the sight of a drunk, wet, half naked Remus being chased from the bathroom by Mrs. Weasley, the week had taken its toll on me.

After I had explained the really short encounter on the train, Harry and Ron went a little crazy. Sometimes they are too overprotective for my liking. They bombarded me with question after question while I had finished preparing dinner, all the while regretting having mentioned it.

"Look, he didn't even see me," I had shouted as I set their food before them.

"Sorry Hermione, its just no one has seen him since that night at Hogwart's. Most people thought he was dead," Harry had said softly.

"I know, its just, can we just eat?" And I demonstrated my desire to end the current conversation by stuffing a forkful of pasta into my mouth.

I should have known they wouldn't be able to let it go. It had taken only 24 hours for word that Hermione Granger had seen Draco Malfoy in Muggle London to spread through the entire Ministry. "Sorry," Ron had muttered when our paths crossed before practically running the other way. And it's a good thing he did. The week that followed was full of nosy, gossip loving women asking for every little detail of the encounter. Ministry official after ministry official had filed in asking this and that. The general feeling I got was that no one really knew how to deal with this. After all, for all intents and purposes, Draco Malfoy had been dead for the past two years.

As I sat watching the Weasley family and guests laugh and eat their dinner, I couldn't help but remember a day very long ago. A day a young boy from Slytherin had almost killed me. A day I had hoped he would. I had never told Ron and Harry about that day, and if I have my way, I never will. They would never have understood, they never will. I had wanted Malfoy to cut me then, and not for any rational reason I could later come up with.

I saw his eyes, drinking in every inch of that blade. I saw him that night, for the first time. I had never been afraid of him, not truly. To be honest, I didn't think he could actually really harm me when it came down to it. He was a child, I was a child, and I had been so very naïve. Things at that time had been very bad. A lot of people were dieing. People I knew, people I loved. Who knows now how the mind of a teenager works, but at that moment, when he pushed that blade into my throat, I hoped he would end it for me then and there. I wouldn't have to see the outcome of everything. I wouldn't have to see who else would die. I wouldn't have to hurt anymore. They wouldn't be able to use me again to get to him. They wouldn't be able to touch me again.

I had given up on a lot of things. Draco Malfoy had seemed my way out. Even then I knew that this war would kill me. One way or another, they were going to get me. Why not beat them to the punch. I would take my fate in my own hands and never let them touch me again. The past year had been hard on all of us. Things had happened. Horrible, troubling things and ignoring them had seemed to everyone like a great way to move on. Well I did not want to ignore them any more. I wanted to come face to face with everything and everyone and scream 'Fuck you!' Physical pain is infinitely easier to deal with then emotional or mental pain. The blade goes in then out, but the memories, well they stay forever.

What had surprised me most was that Malfoy had seen all this in my eyes. He had seen it and he had fled. He saw my pain, my self-loathing and had understood. For a moment, we had been equals. This had been my secret; this had been why I never wondered why he never called me Mudblood again.

I am ripped from my memories by Ginny's scream. Fred is dangling a rat above her, while George is holding her down. Mrs. Weasley starts screaming at them, "NOT AT MY TABLE!"

Five minutes and two apologies later, I suddenly notice Mr. Weasley and Remus whispering to each other at the other end of the table. I suddenly remember Remus' comment to Mrs. Weasley earlier, and though I am tired, several things start to fall into place. They feel my gaze and glance cautiously at me. I send them a smile full of malice and both are taken aback.

"You all right there, Hermione?" Remus asks, his eyes guarded.

"Fine thank you," I reply somewhat coldly. "What was it you were saying to Mr. Weasley, Remus? I couldn't hear you over the Twins."

Arthur and Remus glance at each other quickly while the Twins say in the background, "Well, we do try."

"Well I was just telling Remus here about a really interesting incident today involving a muggle lamp and a-"

"You really expect me to believe that?" I say harshly, effectively silencing any conversation at the table. I could feel all their eyes on me, Ron's fork hanging halfway between his mouth and his plate. I didn't care. I was an adult who had proved herself time and time again, yet they insisted on treating me like porcelain. "You really expect me to believe that? I am not a doll. I won't break. You people think you need to protect me from the truth. I'm not stupid. I see the looks you all shoot me." My voice, I notice, has reached a high almost hysterical pitch. I was just so damn tired. I let my eyes fall to my lap and reign in my temper. "I see the way you look at me and I want to know why."

My words are met with continued silence. Mrs. Weasley was looking uncertainly at her husband, whose face had gone an amazing shade of red. Remus had his head buried in his glass, looking warily at me through the corner of his eye. He was suddenly sober. Harry and Ron sat across from me mouths slightly open in wonder and confusion. Fred and George were stunned into silence for once, their grips falling loosely from Ginny who was no longer struggling to leave their hold.

When no one seemed likely to reply, my anger boiled over. "Fine, that is just fine. I can figure it out on my own. I wasn't head of my fuckin class because of my looks." I draw a ragged breath before continuing carefully. "It has to do with him doesn't it?" There was no need to say who 'he' was. No one said anything but from the look in Remus' eyes, I had my answer. Remus and I were too much alike. I could read him better then Harry and Ron.

I stand up quite suddenly. "Since no one seems inclined to answer me I am going home. I don't feel well." Remus moves as if going to speak, but then thinks better of it and sits back again. "I'm sick of the looks. Sick of them. Two years you have been giving me them. You either tell me why or stop it," I say calmly choosing to look at Mr. Weasley, the head of this fucked up family. His eyes widen slightly in shock, but I am beyond caring. "I know it has to do with Malfoy, I have known for a long time. I know him better then any of you think. I know something happened. When you feel ready to fill me in, you can come find me." I turn around, ignore Harry's voice and walk out of the house into the cold wet night.

I know that something happened, something involving Malfoy that had indirectly had something to do with me. I wasn't blinded by old school grudges, like Harry and Ron. I had seen the look in Malfoy's eyes that night at graduation. I had seen the pain and loss. But I had seen something else also. That something else had kept me awake too many nights. I wanted to know what the hell was going on, and I wanted to know now. I knew just where to start. Taking a deep breath and preparing to apparate, I have one last thought.

'Look out Draco Malfoy.'

I didn't see the hands flying towards me till it was too late.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**"She just can't be chained to a life where nothing is gained, and nothing is lost." -Ruby Tuesday...Stones**


	6. Night Revelations And Shining Memories

**Title: Night Revelations And Shining Memories**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Disclaimer: I think I will stop all this silly nonsense after this chapter, but for old times sake: I do not own Harry Potter and co.**

**Summary: Hermione's attacker is revealed.**

* * *

"Ahhh!" the screamed was ripped from her throat before she could stop it. Forgetting completely about her wand, she resorted to attacking her attacker with her hands.

"Damnit Hermione! Will you", slap, "stop", slap, "hitting me! What, you want the whole house to think I am kidnapping you?"

Hermione, now on the ground covered in dirt, leaves and a certain Fred Weasley, finally took in her surroundings. "FRED!?" she shouted pushing him roughly off her so he landed to her right with a thud.

"Damn, where the hell did you learn to slap like that?" Fred asked while rubbing his face and chest gingerly.

Hermione, still reeling from the shock she had just received and still angry from the events at dinner, stood up, crossed her arms, and glared down menacingly at Fred. "And just what the HELL do you think you were doing sneaking up on me like that Fred Weasley? Huh? I could have cursed you into oblivion?"

Standing up slowly Fred picked up an object wrapped in black that she must have knocked unknowingly out of his hands. "Yeah well lucky for me then that you didn't reach for your wand." He smiled slowly but with none of his usual mirth.

"What the hell are you doing out here anyway? If you hadn't noticed I stormed out during dinner. Let me finish my storming!" Hermione said sounding slightly defeated.

"Yeah well I think everyone noticed the storming," Fred said, carefully eyeing Hermione then the house. "Listen I followed you for a reason." He took a deep breath and for once in his life looked as though he were picking his words carefully. "I have something here I want to give to you," he said indicating the small, wrapped bundle. "It...well it is something I found a long time ago and...well...I am not stupid either, okay? I may play dumb and try and get the laugh but I see what is going on around us Hermione; I see the same people dying that you do. I have scars just like yours." He paused here and slowly dragged his hand through his now wet hair.

Hermione was stunned into silence by not only her curiosity, but at the seriousness of Fred's words. Never had he spoken to her with such sadness in his voice. He and George were usually the ones who helped everyone forget the bad day they had had and just laugh.

"Things are reaching a head, I know that. This war is about to explode whether we want it to or not and I am not afraid to say I don't know who will come out alive." Fred drew a deep breath and looked at the bundle in his hands. "Like I said, I see what is going on around me, and well I want to give this to you."

Hermione could see he was battling with himself and decided to break her silence. "What is it Fred?"

He looked up and met her eyes for the first time. She was surprised at the darkness she found in them and suddenly realized how deeply effected everyone was by the times they were living in. "Well, ha, funny thing is it isn't even yours. I don't know why I am even giving it to you, I mean it may be totally inappropriate and well maybe I shouldn't, but for some reason," he rambled on mumbling more to himself then to her.

"Fred," Hermione said and held out her hand. He took one last look at the bundle and slowly reached out and placed it in her hands. She was surprised at the weight of it. It had looked so small and light. Slowly she peeled back the soft, black fabric and revealed the gift Fred had chosen to give her. She gasped. "Oh!" she said, her eyes flying to his for an explanation.

Fred, somewhat encouraged that he had not as of yet been slapped, let go of the breath he had been holding. Not able to meet her eyes any longer, he glanced at the house that has been his home for almost 22 years now. "Like I said, I found it, years ago. I was outside by the lake waiting to ambush Ron. George was hiding by Hagrid's hut and we were hoping to catch Ron unawares and steal his prefects badge." He was interrupted when he heard her laugh quietly, a haunted look in her eyes as she stared down at his gift.

He was suddenly struck by how beautiful Hermione Granger actually was. The rain had plastered her hair to her face and the barely visible moon was casting a pale light that fell elegantly off the planes of her face. He had been so close to her for almost nine years now and had never before looked at her, really and truly looked at her. "You're beautiful," Fred said.

Hermione had to laugh out loud then, because he hadn't said it in a lustful way. No, in fact Fred had said it in a surprised, matter-of-fact sort of way. It was almost as if he had walked by her on the street and seen her for the first time all over again. "Yeah well, you're not so bad yourself," she said lightly.

Fred shook himself and glanced warily around him. The night had taken on an eerie feeling and he yearned to go back inside, but he wasn't finished here yet. So he continued with his tale. "Well I was hiding behind one of the bushes by the lake when I saw someone running down from the castle. I hunched lower hoping that if it was Ron he hadn't seen me." He paused again and cleared his throat.

"It wasn't Ron, was it," she stated.

"No, not by a long shot. He came running right towards me full out. For a minute I thought he had seen me, but when he got closer I could see his eyes were full of...well to be honest Hermione I don't know. I had never quite seen that look on Malfoy's face before but hell, for the first time I pitied him. I didn't have long to wonder what was bothering him because he suddenly did something that distracted me from his eyes. He reached into his robes and practically ripped out that dagger."

"He stood there staring at it absolutely transfixed for a few minutes. He was mumbling to himself too low for me to hear, when suddenly, as though the dagger had burned him, he threw it into the lake with all his bloody strength. He stood staring at where it fell for a few moments. Before he turned away from it he said something about blood and not believing something. I don't know, he was speaking too low for me to hear him, but when he turned back his eyes were back to normal and well, he just strolled back up to the castle," Fred said, looking visibly relieved to have gotten this off his chest.

"But if he threw it into the lake, then how did," Hermione said staring at the dagger in her hands.

"Took me all bloody night, but I found it. I don't know why I went after it exactly, but you know me, look before I leap right. And a lot of good finding it did for me. I was stupid enough to think it might be worth something so I went swimming around the bottom of that freezing lake for hours and all I had to show for it was that damn dagger and the worst cold I have ever had in my life." Fred finally met Hermione's eyes again before continuing. "Once I had it, well, its weird. I didn't want to sell it. I had seen the look in Malfoy's eyes and well I just kept it. Threw it in the bottom of my trunk and barely thought about it. Rarely took it out. The first time I looked at it again, after I had retrieved it, was the night of Ronnykin's graduation. I saw that same look in his eyes again when he was talking to you and well, I think I started to piece a few things together."

"He changed after that day at the lake and I knew it had something to do with that dagger. He stared at you a lot more after that, you know," Fred said and noticed the slight surprise in her eyes. "Yeah, well don't worry, I don't think anyone else noticed. You kind of had to know what to look for. Anyway, considering the way things have been going lately, I started thinking about the dagger again." Here Fred paused as if afraid to go on. Here was the tricky bit. "I see the way they look at you too Hermione. I have always seen it. I see how you notice them also. It makes you so mad sometimes I wonder how you manage not to scream all the time," Fred said with an understanding smile.

Hermione felt a single tear fall down her face. She had never known this side of Fred, had never seen him this way before. She looked at the dagger again and then into his eyes. "But why give it to me?"

"Yeah well, don't really know. I think you've seen it before though, I can tell that much from your reaction. And well I think...god I am not good at this serious thing," he growled out, running both hands through his hair now. "God I don't really know Hermione. It's like I said, I see things. And though I can't put it all into words or down on paper, well I got the feeling that I should give that to you. You could have either thrown it back at me disgusted or taken it, I was prepared for either."

"Fred," Hermione said quietly, "You're right. I have seen it before." She couldn't bring herself to say thank you, not for this gift, but she felt he deserved that bit of truth. She stared at the dagger, all the memories flooding into her as the moonlight reflected off it. She couldn't explain it, but she was very pleased that Fred had made this decision. Seeing the dagger again had made her look at her life and be thankful that Malfoy had not followed through.

"Well, it's yours now. It spent too many years gathering dust in the bottom of my trunk," Fred said, the smallest hint of a smile reaching his lips. "I think, regardless of what any of them inside that house think, that Draco Malfoy has answers for some of your questions. Find him and maybe you will find what you have been hiding from all these years." He paused here, reaching out a hand and slowly let it graze the side of her face. "You have been through so much Hermione, we all have. Don't let it beat you, don't you dare let them win," Fred said softly, silently thanking whatever god was watching that this young woman was in his life. He let his hand drop and turned to walk back to the house.

Hermione watched as Fred began to walk home, her mind a complete blank. Suddenly he stopped. She watched him turn slightly to her. He said quietly over his shoulder, "No one knows about the dagger. Not even George." And with that Fred walked back into the house. Hermione was stunned. Fred confiding in her had meant a lot to her. The fact that he had never confided this with his twin meant even more.

No longer noticing the rain, Hermione slowly wrapped the dagger back up in its black prison. Fred had given her a gift that meant more then he probably knew. For so long she had gone through the motions with her friends, thinking no one understood half of what she lived through. Oh she wasn't stupid, she knew everyone was hurting or had lost someone. She knew everyone was affected equally by everything around them, but she had always felt that she alone had so many unanswered questions. Fred had shown her tonight that she had been wrong.

She had always loved everyone one of the Weasley's in different degrees: Ron as her best friend and her protector; Molly and Arthur as loving parents; Ginny as the sole girlfriend she had had for so long; Charlie and Bill for the maturity and experience they brought to the group; Percy for his intelligence, even if he was being a prat these days; and the Twins she had always loved for their laughter. But Fred had surprised her by understanding her better then any of the others. And for that she loved him for being a true friend, she loved him for being the one who really saw her. Only one other person had ever done that.

Smiling to herself in the rain, her anger forgotten with the arrival of Fred's unexpected kindness, Hermione decided to go home. She still wanted her answers, and she would get them. But for right now, she wanted to sleep. Taking a deep breath and clutching the wrapped dagger to her side, she closed her eyes and apparated. When she opened them again she looked around her flat and for the second time that night was startled. Only this time she didn't scream. This time her hand flew to her mouth to cover a gasp. She stood absolutely still staring down at a very unconscious and very bloody Draco Malfoy.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**'But here was heroism, the kind that honour sings; the courage to be lovely and smile, in spite of things.'**


	7. The Winter Here Is Cold

**Title: The Winter Here Is Cold**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: How did Draco end up bloody and unconscious in Hermione's flat?**

**A/N: Well another update, another chapter! Thank you all for your great reviews. This next chapter is a tricky one, so I hope you like.  
**

* * *

He had been walking for a while in the rain now, the constant wet pounding nothing more then a slight disturbance. The dirty, long road that lay before him nothing more then a path he was barley aware of. His mind was a million miles away fighting a battle he was both winning and losing. When he had left the pub, he had made up his mind about where to go. The only thing left now was to just get it over with.

Part of him decided to blame the consumption of way too much alcohol. 'Yes,' he thought, 'the alcohol.' He was slightly drunk and the thought that he was a wizard and could easily have apparated to his destination was sliding in and out of his mind. If he could convince himself that he didn't have the ability to pop in and out of a place then maybe he could just walk this road a little longer. Maybe he could come up with an alternative to the plan he had laid out.

Shaking his hood covered head, he sighed and focused again on the country road before him. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he was walking the right way! "Just a little longer," he whispered to the cold night. He needed just a little longer to work some of that alcohol out of his system. He just couldn't show up drunk. Imagine the impression that would make. So he allowed his feet to carry him further into the black country around him as he let his mind carry him backwards. Tonight seemed like a night of remembering. Whether Draco Malfoy wanted to or not, something in the air this night kept forcing his mind back.

* * *

He sat staring at her, completely unaware of anything around him. He watched the light play off her frizzy, yet shiny hair. He saw her bite down on the tip of the pencil in her hand, her forehead creased slightly in concentration. What he wouldn't give to be able to know her thoughts at this exact moment. It seemed to him that it had been a long time since he had talked to her, and parts of him that weren't supposed to exist were craving contact.

He managed to rip his eyes from her slender form and focus once more on the book in front of him. He continued to read about some potion he already knew how to make when he felt someone's eyes upon him. Unconsciously holding his breath he turned ever so slightly towards her and let out his breath again in disappointment when he saw it wasn't her. He let his eyes flow over the room, almost as a hunter searching for his prey does. Suddenly his eyes locked onto someone else's. Malfoy froze.

He watched as Snape stared at him quizzically before turning to stare at Granger, then back to him. Had Snape caught him staring at her? Malfoy's mind raced for a million possible excuses if Snape questioned him. He knew Snape was a Deatheater and the last thing he needed was for his father to find out things Malfoy had gone through great pains to hide.

"Mr. Malfoy, see me after class," Snape barked out harshly. Malfoy nodded before lowering his head to his desk. He could feel the eyes of the entire class on him now. He looked up and instantly met her gaze. She had forgotten whatever lay in front of her and kept staring at him. He could see the mixture of emotions running through her eyes. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Snape still staring at him along with some of his fellow classmates. He told himself to drop his eyes, to look away from her fiery gaze, but he couldn't back down. She wasn't looking away, and so neither was he. He would not surrender to her in this, no matter how sweet it would be.

He saw her notice Snape's attentions and thought that she would finally look away, but once again Hermione Granger surprised him. Instead of looking away she did something completely unexpected. She closed her book, placed it carefully in her bag, which she threw over her shoulder, and then stood up.

"Yes, Miss Granger? Can I help you with something?" Snape asked viciously. But she ignored him and started walking towards Malfoy. Malfoy could hear Snape's annoying voice in the distance somewhere but he was too caught up in watching her walk towards him, a look in her eyes that he had only seen once before.

By now the entire class watched as the Head Girl, Miss Perfect, ignored Snape's threats of detention (or worse) and walked confidently towards the Head Boy. Her eyes were ice, and her body steel. His eyes were on fire, and his body tense in a way only a predator could have. She stopped in front of his table and paused to take him in with one long look. There was nothing sexual behind it, as much as Malfoy would have loved there to be. No, no, this girl was sizing him up as only a hunter does with its prey.

"Malfoy," she said coldly.

"Granger," he said softly. He eyebrows rose, as they did every time he used her name and not mudblood. You would think that after almost two years of the absence of the word she would be used to it by now. God, had it been almost two years already since he had fled from her eyes? Had it really been almost two years since things had changed between them?

"Follow me," she said before turning and walking past Snape and out the door. Draco didn't hesitate. He picked up his bag, grabbed his book and strolled past a gaping Snape and out of the room. He saw her slight figure ahead of him walking towards the stairs. He followed silently, though he did grimace slightly when he heard Snape screaming the word detention at him from down the hall.

He didn't allow himself to wonder where she was leading him, or what she could possibly have to say to him. He didn't allow his mind to think or concentrate on anything other then following her.

After about five minutes he figured she was leading him to the library. As they approached the entrance she paused and looked back at him for the first time since they had left the dungeons. Confirming that he had indeed followed her, she slid into the deserted library and walked through the stacks. She finally stopped in a dark, musty-smelling corner well out of eyesight.

"Well Granger," he said, finally breaking the silence, "if you wanted to have your wicked way with me, couldn't you have picked a more comfortable locale?" He leaned casually against the stacks and crossed his arms in front of him. He towered over, he noticed, by a good six or seven inches. She was leaning against the stacks behind her, conveniently cornered in but she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes were hard and distant.

"Why?" she asked softly. Her whisper startled Malfoy momentarily. He had expected her to shout at him with anger. Her voice clashed with her eyes and he was once again shaken to the core by this strange being. She was so very tiny, so fragile on the outside. But on the inside, she was death, ice, edges, heart, and strength. He suddenly pitied anyone who would ever choose to make her their enemy. They would regret it.

"Why what?" he asked, finally processing what she had asked.

"Before, what you said when we came in here, and in class. You were staring at me, Malfoy. I read your eyes. There was no hate. You used my name, not mudblood, and though you made a crude, immature joke when we arrived here, there was no malice in it. There never is anymore. Why?" she asked, her eyes finally losing some of their fierceness. Her voice sounded tired. Hell, she looked tired. She put on such a convincing act around the others, but now, here with him, he could see the toll the past few years was taking on her mind and body.

Without thinking, his hand reached up and he gently held a piece of her hair in between his fingers. To her credit, she didn't flinch. Even when he stepped closer to her, effectively pushing her body against the books behind her, she didn't move. She stood waiting. He gently rubbed the hair between his fingers, and felt the warmness of her breath against his chin as he looked down at her. Had anyone come across them they would have thought they had stumbled upon two lovers enjoying a moment away from prying eyes. But that was not the case here.

Though he wanted nothing more then to just run away and slam his lips down onto her soft ones at the same time, he controlled both ends of his body and looked into her eyes. "Do you want that, Granger? Do you want me to walk around here calling you my little mudblood, belittling you every chance I get? Do you really want me and my friends" he practically spit out the word, "to drag you through this school like the filth they believe you to be? Or should we throw you in a bag and haul your mudblood ass off to Voldemort and let him deal with you?" His eyes had never left hers and he noticed that she had not flinched once during his little speech. He would have smiled at her bravado had he been capable.

"Yes," she suddenly whispered. He was taken aback. He let his hand drop from her hair and stumbled back a step, out of her personal space. He looked at her, his face betraying his confusion. He watched her for a moment before she slowly smiled a sad smile. "Yes, Malfoy, I wish you would," she said, a single tear falling slowly down her cheek.

He regained his balance and composure and walked towards her. He put his hands on the stacks behind her on either side of face. He pushed his body into hers trying desperately to control his teenage hormones. He felt her body against his and realized she had not tensed in fear. Her eyes were sad and lonely, but there was no fear. Her breath came out in short, quiet bursts against his chin. He lowered his face towards hers until his nose was touching hers. She didn't once back down, the lone tear rolling softly down her face.

"And why in God's name would you want that, Hermione?" he whispered sadly, his lips brushing against her face so very slightly as he spoke. His eyes steel and fire. He saw her eyes widen slightly at his use of her first name, but she was quick to rein it in. She shifted her body slightly, causing him to swallow hard. Now would not be the time to let his fantasy's get the better of him.

"It simple that way," she said, her lips tickling his face slightly. She could see the question in his eyes and breathed in deeply, her chest pushing against his as she inhaled. It took all of Malfoy's willpower to not take her right then and there.

"Simple?" he asked.

"Simple," she replied. "When you hate me, the world makes sense. When you abuse me with your looks and your words, good and evil are clearly defined. When you look at me and all you see is mudblood, I know where I stand. But when you look at me with anything but hate in those eyes of yours Malfoy, that is when everything goes to hell," she explained quietly, her lips so dangerously close to his.

He was beginning to understand her. He thought back to that day so long ago when he had held a dagger to her throat. He shuddered slightly at the memory and pushed his body harder into hers to steady himself. He moved his head forward slightly till his mouth brushed her ear. "You would like that wouldn't you Granger? For things to be black and white, good and evil, wrong and right. It would make your world easier to live in wouldn't it? Well let me tell you something princess, this world is a fucked up place and nothing will ever go the way you want it to," he said harshly. He paused, his mind spinning at her closeness, at the slight scent of her perfume. Without thinking he leaned his head against hers. His cheek softly resting against hers; his lips still at her ear. He could feel the wet trail her tear had left against her cheek.

"Life is hard Hermione, so get used to it. You chose the crowd you hang out with; you knew what would be expected of you so don't you dare sit there in self-loathing and pity. This was your choice, your choice to fight. Your choice to live this life, just like it was your choice to die not so long ago." She gasped at his words.

"What gave you the right to give up huh? Life got a bit hard so you decided to take the coward's way out?" he whispered harshly in her ear. Her body was unbelievably warm underneath his. He had no control over himself anymore. Words were tumbling out of him without his permission. Her proximity and her questions were slowing driving him mad.

"Wouldn't that make you happy, Malfoy? Wouldn't that make your life easier? The mudblood gone. Wouldn't that have made daddy proud?" she asked bitterly. Malfoy's body stiffened slightly at the mention of his father and he was suddenly overcome with a horrible sense of fear. He pulled his face back slightly till he was looking her in the eye again.

"Granger, don't you ever talk about him. He would kill you in a second if he knew," he whispered, letting a finger slowly caress the side of her face.

"Knew what?" she asked confused. Malfoy, realizing what he had just said pushed himself away from her gasping for air. She didn't move, just watched him curiously.

"Damnit, Granger!" Malfoy said running his hands roughly through his blonde hair. "Why now, huh? Why now? It's been two years since I pinned you to that wall. Why are you suddenly so interested in why I didn't finish the job, why I don't call you names anymore, why I respect you?"

"It was time to ask," she said simply, as though clearing up all the questions in his head. "You aren't what you are supposed to be any more, Malfoy. You haven't been since you tried to kill me; since I almost let you."

"Yeah, well you haven't been the same either," Draco said. He reached down and picked up his bag. Throwing it over his shoulder he turned away from her. Over his shoulder he said, "Listen, what I do, and how I choose to act is my business. Don't go sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, you'll just get hurt. And I think you have been hurt enough over the past years Granger. I think you have had just about all you can handle." He started to walk away and heard her slide down to the floor. When he was clear of the library he once again fled from Hermione Granger. Ignoring the students in the now crowded hallways, Draco Malfoy ran for his life.

What had possessed him to touch her like he had, he never knew. He could still feel the heat of her against him and felt that anyone who looked at him would suspect something. He came to a halt as he suddenly remembered his bizarre exit from potions. If his father got wind of it there would be hell to pay. He had received enough beatings over the past years after his continual failure to dispose of Miss Granger. What would his father say if he knew he had just been having, what for Draco, was a civilized conversation with a mudblood. And not just any mudblood, oh no, the Dark Lord's own personal favourite mudblood.

Draco wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure Voldemort's interest in Granger was not solely observational. Shaking his head slightly, Draco shook off the worry that had been creeping up on him since the summer. As long as Granger was here at Hogwart's she would be safe.

* * *

Jerking back to the present, Draco laughed bitterly to himself at how foolish and naive he had been. That had been just a few weeks before the Christmas Holidays. A few weeks before his life had changed forever. A few weeks before he had killed his father.

Pushing down his memories quickly, he steadied himself and looked around the wet cold country. Well he had better get this over and done with. He took out his wand and held it at the ready. He knew Granger well enough to know that she wouldn't hesitate to send a spell the way of a man apparating into her flat without her permission. So just in case, he wanted to be prepared. No sense dying before he got to explain a few things.

Taking a deep breath he apparated. His eyes had half a moment to adjust to the darkness in her flat when he sensed the other person in the room and instinctually flung his body sideways. The spell just grazed him but caught him enough to throw him against the far wall with a force that surprised him. As he fell to the floor he heard the distant popping sound of someone disapparting.

The person must have been waiting for Hermione to arrive, hoping to catch her unawares. 'Oh, God!' thought Malfoy, blood rushing out of his mouth. They must have thought they had succeeded in their mission. If he hadn't of ducked at that precise moment he probably would be dead right now. He knew now what spell had been thrown at him. Not many people would know that spell. But that must mean someone had been sent here to kill her. 'Fuck,' he thought. He suddenly had a moment of perfect clarity where everything made sense. As he passed out in a pool of his own blood, he had one thought. 'I have to warn Hermione.'

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**Love, Ally**

**"The winter here is cold and bitter, it chilled us to the bone, we haven't seen the sun for weeks, too long too far from home. I feel just like I am sinking, and I claw for solid ground, I am pulled down by the undertow, I never thought I would feel so low, and oh darkness I feel like letting go." –Full of Grace, Sarah McLaughlin (yeah I know I spelled it wrong)**


	8. Don't Let The Fire Rush To Your Head

**Title: Don't Let The Fire Rush To Your Head**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: Draco wakes up.**

**A/N: This chapter came easier then I thought, and I am pretty happy with it. I hope you all like it. And here I thought that the first chapter was only going to be a one-off! You people and your reviews! Ah, they make me write! Evil you all are! Lol. Seriously, you reviewers are excellent, especially my loyal ones, as I like to call you. I can always count on an honest review from yous! I love you all! On with the story!**

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She stared around her allowing her eyes to leave Draco's beaten body. There was glass everywhere from where it looked as though he had been thrown into a framed picture of the Hogwart's grounds that had been hanging on her wall. Her furniture was slightly moved and it looked as though someone had been going through her drawers. She looked down quizzically at Malfoy. Had he been going through her stuff? Perhaps, but that didn't explain why he was in such terrible shape. Had he stumbled across someone going through her flat? If so, why had he come to her flat in the first place?

"Ahh, once again too many damned questions and not enough answers," she growled out. Bringing her attention back to Malfoy, she magically lit the lamps around her and gasped at the actual sight of him. She kneeled down and tentatively put her fingers against his bloody throat searching for a pulse. She found one, much to her relief, and sighed. What to do?

Gathering the wrapped dagger that Fred had just given her, she stood up and walked to the kitchen, carefully placing it in a drawer. Gathering some cloth and filling a bowl of warm water, she then returned to Malfoy's side. She took a moment to stare at him. Underneath the blood he looked different then he had only a week ago. His face looked tired and worn. What had happened to him this past week, she wondered. Hell what had happened to him these past two years? She considered letting someone know that a very beat up Draco Malfoy was currently lying on her living room floor but thought better of it. She wanted some answers from this man, and when he woke up, answers she would get.

Taking a deep breath and pointing her wand at him, she muttered, "Wingardeom Leviosa." Draco's body magically lifted in the air, blood dripping from his body to the floor. "Shit," she said, he was a bit more hurt then she had originally thought. She floated his body gently towards her room with the only bed in the house. The blood would stain her sheets, but she had never liked them anyway. Gently she lowered him to her bed and set the bowl of water on her nightstand.

She glanced down at his broken body and for a moment smiled slightly to herself. She had always secretly wondered what lay underneath Draco Malfoy's robes. The closest she had ever been to him had been that day in the library. She had finally had enough and the time had come for her to confront him. She had never expected him to act the way he had. She had been pushed into every inch of his hard body and being a seventeen-year-old girl, she couldn't help but wonder what lay beneath the garments.

"Well Hermione," she sighed to herself. "Looks like you finally get your chance to find out." She considered removing his clothes with magic, but she didn't know how his wounds would be affected. She had no idea how deep they were and didn't want to risk him losing more blood. She leaned over him and worked the buttons of his already torn shirt. She slowly peeled back the already blood soaked garment and gasped. On his right side was a gaping hole about six inches long. Whatever had hit him had certainly damaged him.

Finally realizing the danger he was actually in, Hermione made quick work with the rest of his clothes. She smiled slightly at the sight of his silk green boxers, but quickly brought her attention back to his wound. She made quick work of cleaning the blood from it, not wanting to aggravate it more. She washed his face of its dirt and put the bloody cloth back into the bowl of water. Grabbing her wand she pointed at him and muttered a few quick healing spells. His wounds closed and his bruises faded, but she was in no doubt that he would be in pain when he woke up, whenever that would be.

Gathering his wet and dirty clothes she went to the kitchen to throw them in the washing machine. Grabbing a blanket from the coach in the living room she muttered another quick spell to clean of the mess that Draco had left behind him. When he woke up, she wanted to know exactly what had happened. Turning off the lights she went back to her room. She saw the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and noticed how pale his face was. She hoped she had done enough for him, she wasn't a doctor but she was confident in her abilities.

She grabbed the soft, sturdy chair from the corner of her room and brought it to the side of her bed. When he woke up she wanted to be there. She wasn't going to give him an opportunity to escape. She had finally caught him and she was going to make sure she didn't let him go until she was done with him. Try as she might to fight off sleep, the night finally took its toll on her and she passed into a deep and dreamless sleep.

She woke up to see a pair of grey eyes staring at her with intensity. For a moment she wondered what could make someone's eyes so sad and then the previous night's events came crashing down. She hurriedly sat up throwing her blanket to the floor. "Malfoy!" she practically shrieked.

A smile that didn't reach his eyes crept to his lips. "Granger!" he mimicked.

She paused for a moment and then let it all out. "What the hell are you doing here? What the fuck happened to you last night? Where have you been for the past two years? I saw you on the train the other day you know that? We all thought you were dead. What the hell is going on!" she screamed. Taking deep breaths to regain her composure, Malfoy just sat watching her.

"Feel better?" he asked he quietly, still lying back on her bed.

"Believe it or not, yes," she answered. Suddenly she laughed and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. "God that felt good getting that out. Somehow I always pictured that seeing you again would be some big dramatic thing. But now that you're here and I have just asked you like a million questions it feels kind of silly you know," she said shyly. "What happened to you?" she asked, absentmindedly reaching forward to touch his chest where a six-inch scar tenderly sat.

He gasped at her touch, though not from pain. He slowly sat up, the blanket pooling around his waist, and ignored the pain in his body as he leaned back against the headboard. "I apparated into your flat last night, only I wasn't the only one here. Someone attacked me, threw a pretty dark curse at me, but luckily I moved in time. It just grazed me."

Her mouth dropped open slightly, "Just grazed you? Hell, Malfoy I would hate to see what it would have done to you full on. You gave me quite a shock last night. You were pretty beat up." She took in his appearance and realized he wasn't as pale as the night before. She suddenly had the urge to brush his hair away from his eyes but quickly pushed the silly thought away.

He sat there in the silence, his breath harsh and quick from the pain his body was in. He saw her staring at him, her eyes clouded and dark. She was staring at him and remembering everything; all the pain he had caused her, all the questions left unanswered. He knew he had things to tell her, but now that he was this close to her, he decided that the answers could wait, just a little longer.

"Why are you here?" she asked him softly.

"Do I need a reason?" he asked, a spark of the old Malfoy suddenly flaring in his eyes.

"You never did before," she said quietly.

"Simple. It was time," he said.

"Harry and Ron think you are a danger to me," she said somewhat shyly.

"I have heard their accusations a million times Hermione. You have taken lots of chances before, you are taking one now, keeping me here. You have no idea who I am and what I have done, yet you know me better then anyone else. You know I would never hurt you," he said, putting a finger under her chin and lifting it up so she was forced to look at him.

"I have barely had more than a few real conversations with you, Malfoy, how can you say I know you better then anyone else?" she asked, his finger under her chin burning her skin in a surprising way. His hair had fallen into his stormy eyes, and as he gazed at her with them, she felt her breathing quicken. He let his finger trail down from her chin to her neck where he gently placed the rest of his hand. He could feel the rapid beating of her pulse and he allowed himself a small smile. It had been so long since he had been able to look at her, just really look at her. Her beauty had not diminished, but had increased giving her a subtle charm. Her hair was still wild, but a bit more tamed. He resisted the urge to find out if it was as soft as it looked.

Hermione found herself blushing hotly under his scrutiny. She didn't know why he had this effect on her. When she was younger, she had put it down to physical attraction. She had never dreamed of Malfoy but she wasn't blind. He was then and still was a very attractive man. What she couldn't explain was the shiver that ran through her the few times he had touched her. Harry was very attractive, but she did not blush when he touched her, she did not feel as though the temperature in the room had been raised by ten degrees when she was near him, she did not feel her breathing quicken under his gaze. No, Draco Malfoy always affected her differently. She had always been too afraid to dwell on why that could be, but now, under his gaze, his fingers on her body, his naked chest a few inches from her, she couldn't ignore her body's response to him.

"We are so very different from each other," Draco said, interrupting her thoughts. His voice was a deep whisper. "So different, yet I don't think I have ever met any one so like me. We have always been matched with each other. You were my opposite in everything. I a pureblood, you a mudblood. I had no family life to speak of, you have loving parents. You have true and loyal friends; I have only ever been surrounded by those after an association with my family name. I was destined for the dark, and you for the light. We were both made Heads of our year more for our differences, then our similarities. But it was those differences that made me realize how alike we actually were," he said quietly.

She realized suddenly that he was right, and knew that on some level she had always known as well. He was her exact opposite, and therefore her equal. She let out a small sigh and felt his hand drop slightly from her throat to caress the base of her neck. She felt her eyes close without her permission as he sat up and slid closer to her. She could sense his face directly in front of hers and felt his breath. Her stomach dropped and she felt her head spinning slightly at his proximity. What was happening here? She had a million things she had to ask him, but at this moment all she could think about was his hand on her neck.

Draco sat before her studying her face. Her eyes were shut lightly and she swayed slightly as though dizzy. He had never thought he would ever be able to see her again. Even in the best times, he knew he would never be able to touch her again. But here he sat in her bed, his hand against her flesh, his face so close to hers. Draco found it difficult to concentrate and the world around him dimmed slightly, her face the only thing in focus. He could tell he was affecting her in a way he had only dreamed of. He could feel her pulse pounding against his hand, he could hear her shallow breath, he could see her fighting to stay focused.

She suddenly opened her eyes and met his gaze. He sucked in a breath at the intensity behind them. His head moved forward slightly until his forehead rested against hers, his nose brushing the side of hers. He closed his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a slight moan. Her mere presence was causing his body to react in a way it hadn't for a very long time.

Her eyes widened at his slight moan. Thinking he had perhaps hurt himself, she asked quietly, "Are you okay?"

He laughed slightly at her question, and forced himself to pull away from her. He let his hand fall slowly from her neck and smiled slightly as he leaned back against the headboard. "Yes, I am fine."

Clearing her throat uncertainly, Hermione finally allowed herself to breath normally again. Standing up she suddenly felt the need to flee, to get as far away from this man as possible. She could still feel her body's response to him, and now that her head had cleared slightly she was a bit taken aback by it. "Good, well, listen, I should probably get you something to eat, and well you probably want to wash up a bit. I tried to get most of the blood off of you, but well, uh, the bathroom is right there. You should find everything you need," she said in a rush and then proceeded to turn and walk out of the room.

Closing the door behind her, she let out a whoosh of air and put her hand to her neck where Malfoy had been gently caressing her. Yes, she decided, it had been a caress, not just a touch. She put both hands over her eyes and groaned in frustration. Shaking her head to clear her mind she decided that first she would deal with the situation at hand, and then she would, just maybe, think about what had just happened. "Right, kitchen," she said and marched off to get some food for her strange patient.

Draco on the other hand was momentarily torn from his thoughts on Hermione by the pain shooting through his body as he attempted to move towards the bathroom. She had done a good job of closing his wounds and hiding his bruises, but the pain remained and showed through his stiff movements. He finally reached the small, white bathroom and debated over whether to allow himself the luxury of a bath, or to just have a quick shower. Though his muscles were screaming at him to choose the bath, he opted for the shower. If he sat down now, he didn't think he would be able to stand up again.

Reaching over to turn on the shower head, he allowed himself to relax completely for the first time in a very long time. He still had to warn her, he still had things he had to tell her, but for a moment he would allow himself to pretend he lived in a world where he could be happy, where she could be happy, where they were both safe. He sighed contentedly as he stepped into the shower and let the warm water run over his bruised body.

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Hermione listened as the shower ran in the bathroom. Wondering at how the fates had allowed Draco Malfoy to end up naked in her house, she prepared herself a bowl of pasta while making Malfoy a small sandwich. She didn't really know if he was up to eating, but he had to get something into him. She stood stirring her pasta absentmindedly and tried to form questions to ask Malfoy. She had wanted to talk with him for so long, but now that he was just a few feet away in the next room, she couldn't remember any of the questions she had wanted to ask him.

Suddenly she heard a faint popping noise and froze. "Hermione?" she heard from the living room.

"Oh shit!" she muttered. She watched as Harry came around the corner and entered the kitchen.

"Hey," he said softly. He had stopped at the doorway and she could tell he was hesitant to enter completely. His face looked tired and unsure. "I am sorry to just pop in like this, I doubt you want to see anyone right now, but after last night I had too make sure you were okay. We are all worried about you, Hermione," Harry said carefully. He allowed himself to take two steps closer to her.

Hearing the shower go off, she frantically thought of ways to get rid of Harry before he realized she wasn't alone in the flat. "Listen, Harry, now is just not the best time for me okay! I have a lot on my mind and well would rather be alone right now." She saw his crestfallen look and her heart went out to him. "I really do want to talk to you, Harry, but just give me some time okay?" she pleaded with him.

She saw his body lose some of its tenseness and sighed happily to herself. "Yeah okay. Listen, whatever is going on we'll figure it out okay?" he said to her and walked over to give her a brief but strong hug.

"Thanks, Harry," she smiled up at him.

"Yeah well, what would you do without me? Anyway I'm going to be at the Weasley's today so you know where to find me if you need me," he said as he turned to leave.

Hermione leaned back against the counter and watched as he was just about to exit the kitchen when suddenly, "Granger, what did you do with my clothes? I can't find them anywhere?" asked Malfoy as he exited her room in nothing but a dripping wet chest and a white towel wrapped low around his waist. He froze when he saw Harry.

Harry had frozen when he heard Malfoy's voice. Slowly he turned and saw a half naked Draco Malfoy after almost two years. "What the fuck?" Harry said angrily, his eyes darkening dangerously.

"Shit," Malfoy muttered, his eyes wide.

"Oh Lord," Hermione whimpered, looking back and forth between the two. And just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, she heard another popping sound in the next room.

"Harry, you talk to her yet? She all right?" came Ron's voice, getting louder as he got closer. No one moved, Hermione waiting for what seemed like forever for Ron to approach. "Harry?" Ron asked. She saw the red hair of her friend behind Harry. "Harry?" Ron asked pushing past a still frozen and angry Harry. "You all right there mate?" Getting no response from Harry, Ron turned and looked at Hermione for the first time. "Oh hey, Hermione. You okay? What is going on with Har..." he trailed off, his eyes finally catching site of Malfoy.

"Bloody hell," Ron spit out, his face suddenly going a dangerous red. He whipped out his wand and launched himself towards Draco.

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**Love, Ally**

**"Don't say words you're gonna regret. Don't let the fire rush to your head. I've heard the accusation before, and I ain't gonna take anymore." –Eye In the Sky, Noa**


	9. The Foolishness Of Men

**Title: The Foolishness of Men**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: The aftermath of the kitchen encounter!**

**A/N: Okay if a towel clad Draco gets the amount of Reviews that my chapter just got then I am going to put one in every chapter! Lol. And as 'a' (one of my lovely reviewers) kindly pointed out, I totally spelled Wingardium Leviosa wrong. And you know what I think I just did again! Latin is not my specialty folks and I was lazy again! Had no desire to hunt down the spelling as I wrote that chapter at like 3 am! Anyway, I will totally be more careful in the future.**

**Also one of my reviewers (bloodrust) pointed out something I too had noticed. I sometimes switch from 1st person to 3rd person, depending on the chapter. Well I saw that and stopped. From here on out, and you can see from some of the last chapters, I am going to be writing in 3rd person!**

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It had all worked out. Somehow she had managed to prevent murder from happening in her flat. Somehow she had stopped bloodshed. But that knowledge was not helping her now. Now, she was even more confused. Now, she was even more worried. Now, she was trying to get drunk off of cooking sherry.

* * *

_Flashback_

"Bloody hell," Ron spit out, his face suddenly going a dangerous red. He whipped out his wand and launched himself towards Draco.

"Ron, NO!" Hermione shouted, throwing her body into Ronald Weasley's. At the same time, Draco Malfoy jumped in surprise, turned so quickly his towel fell off, and ran stark naked into Hermione's room, slamming the door shut behind him. Harry, his eyes still blazing, well Harry was still frozen in place. Oh he wanted to move, wanted to find out what in Merlin's name was going on, but unfortunately, Ron had cast the Petrificus Totalus spell at Malfoy just as Hermione had tackled him. The spell fired from Ron's wand, slammed into a hanging pot where it proceeded to ricochet off the metal and head straight towards Harry. If looks could kill, Ronald Weasley would be dead.

Ron and Hermione had both frozen. Ron had his back on the floor, his face full of fear. His hand was on his wand but so was Hermione's. She too was frozen on top of Ron, looking at Harry with fear in her own eyes. "S-sorry, Harry," Ron squeaked out.

"Oh god, oh god," Hermione said finally breaking from her momentary silence. She scrambled off of Ron and ran over to Harry, muttering the counter curse. "You all right, Harry?" she asked carefully, still aware that the questions were coming.

For Harry's part, being frozen had done wonders for his temper. Instead of wanting to rush over and kill Malfoy on the spot, he had now calmed down sufficiently to realize that no, he wanted to torture Malfoy first, and then give him a slow death. "Yeah, Hermione I am fine. I am going to kill you later though," he said pointing at Ron.

"Yeah mate, well first let's kill him, then we can work out our problems," Ron said, slowly standing, his face going red with anger again.

"You will do no such thing in my house, Ronald Weasley. That goes for you to Harry. No one raises a wand, not one," Hermione said harshly, putting herself between them and her bedroom door.

"What is he doing here, Hermione?" Harry asked calmly. A little too calmly, for Hermione saw the danger present in his eyes.

"Well," Hermione began. Just as suddenly she stopped. What was he doing here? He had never answered her question, and in all honesty she was just as confused as the boys.

"Well..." Ron said leaning against the kitchen counter, casually crossing his arms over his chest. "We are waiting Hermione."

She decided that she was not going to go through this alone. Suddenly Hermione turned towards her bedroom door and shouted, "DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!"

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?" came Draco's shout from the other side of the door.

"Oh you would be surprised what I know about you. Now get out here," Hermione shouted back, getting angry at the situation he had so obviously caused.

"Well unless you want me to come out wearing one of YOUR DRESSES, give me my goddamn clothes!" Draco shouted back.

"Kinda reminds you of being back at Hogwarts doesn't it, Harry?" Ron, fighting back his laughter, asked Harry, who was also trying to suppress his amusement. Though still confused beyond words, the current situation was highly amusing, not what they had pictured when they imagined meeting Draco Malfoy again.

"Well, I am so happy you two have calmed the fuck down!" she shrieked at them. "Maybe now we can get somewhere without my flat being destroyed."

"Damnit, GRANGER, where the hell are my clothes?" Draco shouted from her room.

"Patience of a friggen two-year old, I swear to god I should have let him die, save me the trouble, and now I have these two, first trying to wreck my place, now trying not to pee on my floor with their laughter," Hermione mumbled too herself as she walked over to Ron and roughly pushed him over. She leaned down and took out Draco's clothes from the washing machine/dryer. Shooting and evil look at the still chuckling boys, she walked over to her bedroom door and knocked quietly.

"Bout damn time," Draco said as he opened the door a crack. He swiftly grabbed his clothes, mumbled a barely audible thank you, and slammed the door again.

"See if I help you ever again with that attitude," Hermione said and turned back to the kitchen. Just as she was about to address her two friends, Draco's shout could once again be heard from inside her room.

"Granger! What the hell did you do to my clothes?" he shouted before opening her door and walking briskly to stand directly in front of her, his ragged breath on her face, his ripped clothes hanging loosely from his body. His eyes were on fire as they met hers. There he saw ice.

"What the hell did I do?" she said coldly. "What the hell did I do? You're lucky I got out as much blood off as I did. Besides I was not the one who attacked you! Maybe you don't remember but I was the one who bloody well saved your life!"

Draco froze as his anger disappeared. He hadn't been angry with her. No, he had been angry with Potter and Weasley, and well, he had allowed that anger to cloud his mind. Now he remembered that she had indeed saved his worthless life. "Yeah," he said quietly, "well now we are even."

Hermione jumped back in surprise at his words. "What?" she asked.

But before he could answer her, Harry cleared his throat. "As amusing as it is seeing the two of you fight, what the hell is going on? Who attacked you, Malfoy?"

"Why, Potter, I didn't know you cared?" Draco drawled. Secretly he had always loved sparring with these three. Hermione was by far the best with her words, but seeing Potter and Weasley get so angry they became reckless, had been one of the few things he had missed about Hogwarts, in a weird twisted sort of way. But now they were all different. Yes, a mutual dislike ran through their veins, but they were no longer children playing around with magic. Every single person in that room had killed, had watched someone be killed, had lost someone they loved. Every single person in that room was no longer naïve.

"Yeah, well put it down to curiosity, Malfoy," Harry said, a slight smile playing at his lips. "I should curse you right here, right now, and drag your sorry ass to the ministry; but I am not stupid. Hermione here apparently helped you out. So I will wait and hear her story before I curse you right here, right now, and drag your sorry ass to the ministry," Harry said.

"Good to know you missed me as much as I missed you, Potter," Draco said smiling. He had been away from people for so long, and though not everyone in this room was exactly his idea of company, things were certainly interesting. He turned to look down at a scowling Hermione in front of him, her eyes still icy, but becoming less so as she realized no one was going to kill anyone, just yet anyway.

Staring at Hermione brought Draco's mind to last night's events. Hermione watched as his face changed from amused anger to fear and concern. She instantly got the feeling that perhaps Draco Malfoy's sudden reappearance in her life was not exactly a coincidence.

"If you two would finish staring at each other, maybe we could get to the explanation," Ron said angrily, slowly getting up from the counter and shooting one last piercing glance at Malfoy turned and went into the living room.

Realizing how close she was to Malfoy and the fact that she had been staring at him for several moments too long, Hermione stepped quickly back and turned towards the kitchen. Draco stood frozen for a moment longer, watching her move nervously into the kitchen. He raised his eyes and saw Harry staring at him. At this moment words were not needed between the long time rivals. Harry's look was clear: You go near her and I will kill you. Draco's look, just as clear: I'll do what I want Potter.

Harry turned and slowly went into the living room before throwing himself down on the couch next to Ron, who at this moment did not look the least bit happy with the current situation.

"Here, I made you this sandwich. I thought you should eat something, all that healing would have taken a lot out of you," Harry and Ron heard Hermione say softly to Malfoy in the kitchen. The two boys shot each other strange looks.

"Thanks, Granger," they heard Malfoy reply just as softly. "Oh and, Granger, your pasta is about to boil over."

"Shit!" Hermione squealed just as they saw Malfoy emerging from the kitchen holding a plate with a sandwich on it in his hands.

He paused as he saw the two young men staring at him then casually walked over and threw himself into the couch across from them. His eyes never leaving theirs, he happily began devouring the much-needed food. Harry and Ron just glared.

The staring contest was interrupted as Hermione emerged from the kitchen. She stumbled a bit under the intense gaze of the three men in her living room before walking over and sitting down next to Malfoy. 'I really need to hang out with women more often,' she thought to herself.

The fact that she had sat directly next to Malfoy when there were plenty of other choice seats available in the spacious flat was not lost on the three young men. Draco smiled to himself, Harry became even more wary of what the hell was going on, and Ron became even more confused.

"Well," Hermione said, breaking the silence. "Well, I guess I should start from last night."

"Yes that would be a good place to start," Ron said leaning forward slightly.

"Well, I had-" Hermione began, but was instantly cut off by the loud popping noise and sudden appearance of another man in her flat.

Ron suddenly grinned widely as he saw Remus Lupin turn around to look at all of them. Now things would get sorted out. Now the problem of Malfoy would be resolved. Unfortunately for Ron, things did not go as he planned.

"Hello all," Lupin said happily. "And how are we all doing to-"his words cut off as he caught sight of Draco Malfoy sitting comfortably next to Hermione, a sandwich frozen halfway to his mouth. For a moment he was caught completely off guard as he took in the tension of the room and the relieved looks of Harry and Ron at his sudden appearance.

"What is this, a friggen open house today?" Hermione asked the ceiling.

"Sorry to intrude, Hermione, but after last night I thought a conversation was in order. And boy am I glad I came when I did," Remus said, a small smile fighting to break onto his face. He walked forward till he was by the couches and looked directly at Draco. "Well, Draco, I must say I didn't think you would make up your mind that quickly," Remus said. Harry and Ron's mouths dropped.

Draco smiled and put his half eaten sandwich on the small table next to the couch. "Yeah well I figured why wait," he said noticing the almost painful expression of surprise on the other boy's faces. He noted that Hermione didn't seem the least bit surprised at the obvious familiarity between the two wizards. She really was a clever one.

"Glad you came round," Remus said and suddenly Draco remembered the attack.

"Yeah well so am I," his voice suddenly changing to a serious tone. He leaned forward and said to Remus, "Someone was here waiting when I apparated last night."

Remus stiffened. "Waiting for you? But how could they have known you were coming here? I mean I had just seen you hours before and didn't know what you were planning."

Draco looked carefully at Hermione, but addressed his words to Remus. "Not waiting for me, Remus. Waiting for her." Draco watched as her eyes grew wide and her breath caught in her throat.

"For her?" Remus asked quietly, suddenly sitting down in the chair behind him. "But that means..." Remus let his words trail off as his eyes also widened in shock.

Suddenly there was another popping noise and Fred Weasley appeared in the middle of the living room. "Well what do we have here?" Fred asked, obviously highly amused by the situation around him.

"Oh bloody hell!" Hermione shouted before getting up, going into her kitchen and opening a bottle of her cooking sherry. It wasn't strong but maybe it was strong enough to make her forget this afternoon.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**"The struggle, for those who survived The Day, was to survive the next." –Alas, Babylon, by Pat Frank**


	10. Pity

**Title: Pity**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: Revelations and decisions  
**

* * *

The sherry hadn't worked. She hadn't really believed that it would, but thought if she wished hard enough...She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She knew she was just being childish and running away from a sticky situation. But things at the moment were so confusing, so electrically charged, that she half expected Voldermort himself to come charging into her room next, followed by the Dali Lama. So much had been said but still no one had answered any of her questions, and now she finds out that the reason Draco Malfoy had been left for dead last night is only because someone thought it was her. At this moment Hermione really wished she drank hard liquor.

She stepped back as Fred Weasley entered the kitchen laughing; his eyes alight with amusement. He saw her watching him and gave her a smile. He walked over to the fridge and opened it. "Oh, Hermione," he managed to say between his laughs. "I haven't seen such drama since two months ago when I went to St. Mungo's to visit a customer of George and mine that had accidentally, accidentally mind you, taken the wrong sweet to cure his nosebleeds. While there apparently a certain former Professor Lockhart was running loose around the Centre pretending to be a doctor. Explosions could be heard everywhere. But this," and he turned indicating the shouts coming from her living room, "no this takes the cake my fair Hermione!" He had pulled a carton of milk from the fridge and proceeded to drink it straight from the carton.

"Oh, Fred," was all her tired mind and body would allow her to say as she reached into a cupboard and retrieved a glass. She thrust it towards him, her eyebrow arched. He sheepishly grabbed it and poured the rest of the milk from the carton into the glass before turning and throwing the empty container into the trash bin.

"Sorry," he said, turning slightly red. The laughter had gone from both his eyes and voice now as he leaned casually against the kitchen sink. He turned his head towards the noise in the living room, his eyes flashing quickly to Hermione, taking in her stressed appearance. "They're crazy you know, the whole lot of them," he whispered to her trying to catch her eye. He allowed himself a smile of satisfaction as he heard her try to stifle a small chuckle. "Ah see now, things aren't that bad. Well granted, from what I gathered through the shouts, that yes things really ARE that bad, and well yes Malfoy was almost killed, and well yes they were actually aiming for YOU, and chances are they will come back, and Harry and Ron are ready to shed blood in your house, and-"

"Fred Weasley, if you say one more thing, I WILL shed blood in my house!" Hermione said, a smile on her lips, her eyes, though wet with tears, shining with amusement at his feeble attempts to cheer her up. "I swear to god Fred, you ever try to make me smile again..." she let the threat go unfinished.

Fred drained the rest of the milk from his glass and placed it into the sink. He stood looking at her silently for a minute. "Listen, Hermione, what are you going to do? Things really do seem to be that bad."

At his words, Hermione became angry again. "Well considering I have no idea what the hell is really going on, or who the hell is actually after me, I haven't exactly decided on a course of action yet."

Fred seemed unfazed by her anger. "Yeah well if you want I can beat some answers out of them?" At her look he shrugged, "No? Okay but don't say I didn't offer. Don't worry, as soon as the testosterone in that room dies down a little, they'll realize they need to illuminate things for everyone. And don't worry about the furniture. Lupin won't let anyone draw wands!"

"I should hope not!" Hermione sighed, walking over and leaning against the counter next to Fred. He crossed his arms across his chest and they sat comfortably in each other's silence for a few minutes, listening to the shouting continue.

"Well, uh, I actually came over today to make sure you hadn't changed your mind and decided to kill me after our conversation last night," Fred said nervously, breaking the silence.

"You know, out of that lot, you are the only one who came here to protect his own hide and not see how I was feeling," Hermione said smiling.

"Yeah, well self-preservation has always been my greatest concern. I don't need a powerful witch like you after my corpse," Fred said, feigning seriousness.

"No, Fred. I do not want your corpse. Last night you did something wonderful for me, I can't really explain why, but thank you all the same," Hermione said, turning to look up at Fred. His face was scrunched up in concentration and he was chewing slightly on his bottom lip.

"A bit of a coincidence though eh? Him showing up like that just after we had talked about him?" he said peering towards the living room.

"Yes. Too many coincidences for my liking this past week, too many," Hermione said quietly.

"Are you going to tell him about the dagger?" Fred asked, turning his head back to Hermione.

"No, no I don't think so. I don't honestly even know how long he'll be sticking around," she said wistfully.

Fred did not fail to notice the tone in her voice. 'So the tide flows that way does it?' Fred mused to himself. Out loud he said, "Yeah well if you do tell him, leave my name out of it okay? I don't want a mad Hermione Granger after me, and I certainly do not need a mad Malfoy after me."

Hermione put her hand on his and met his eyes, "Don't worry, Fred, your secret is safe with me."

"What secret?" Ron's voice from the kitchen door interrupted them.

"Oh, just the secret ingredient to my Ton-Tongue Toffees," Fred replied, recovering quickly. The shouting in the living room had finally stopped it would seem. Fred moved away from the counter and approached his younger brother. "You ladies done gossiping in there?"

"Shut-it, Fred," Ron said tiredly. "You alright Hermione? Noticed you disappeared."

"Yeah well if you lads are done arguing maybe someone will tell me what the hell is going on," Hermione said rougher then she intended as she pushed her way past Fred and Ron and out of the kitchen.

Fred looked at his brother and raised his eyebrows. "Women," they both muttered together before turning back towards the living room.

* * *

"Well?" Hermione asked the now quiet domain of her living room. She had reappeared from the kitchen a moment ago, retaken her seat next to Malfoy, waited for Fred and Ron to return, and had then proceeded to dive right in.

Malfoy looked across to Harry, his eyes burning. Remus sat back in his chair looking quite harassed. Ron and Fred had sat down next to Harry. "Well?" she asked again. "Was anything achieved with all that shouting?

"Yeah well, kinda," Harry mumbled, still glaring at Malfoy.

Hermione let her eyes slide to the man sitting tensely next to her. She noticed he looked even more drained then before and noticed he had not finished his sandwich. Surprising all of them, she suddenly let out a tiny shriek of annoyance. "I swear to god, men are helpless. If there were no women around to help you lot out, you'd all die." Had Hermione been in a better mood, their blank looks would have amused her; as it happened, she was not in a better mood. "I swear Draco Malfoy, if you keel over from exhaustion and hunger I will not help you again!" her eyes were on fire as they burned into his.

"What?" Draco squeaked out looking pleadingly at the other men in the room for some sign of help.

"I did not make you this sandwich just so you could toss it aside! I had to use some powerful healing spells last night to save your LIFE, and as any half-wit with a brain knows, that drains not only the spell caster, but also the person who receives the spell. So you will finish this right now, or pass out and then see who helps you!" She held the plate with his half-eaten sandwich menacingly before. He was momentarily dumbfounded as to what to do. This was not what he had been expecting at all, and from the looks on the others faces neither had they.

"Take it man, quickly," Remus whispered to him from somewhere off to his right.

He reached out a hand slowly to take the plate from Hermione, his eyes on hers the entire time. His finger brushed hers as he took the plate from her and he noticed a shiver run threw her body. The fire in her eyes sparked once and the anger seemed to drain from her face. She looked down at him curiously before turning back too her friends. "Answers now," she ordered.

"Yes," Remus said while clearing his throat and taking charge. "Yes well, last night I happened to run into Draco here at a pub-"

"Yeah likely story," Ron said behind a cough to his brother.

"Okay, so I didn't run into him, I was looking for him, and well obviously I found him," Remus said glaring at Ron. "Anyway, I felt obligated to let him know that Hermione here had seen him on a muggle train last week and that now the wizarding world knew he was indeed alive. I left him there after informing him, and returned to the Burrow as you all know."

"Oh yes, I think we all remember that," Fred said dreamily, pretending to drool over the memory of a half-naked Lupin being chased by his mum.

"Yes well," Remus blushed, "Well apparently Draco here, decided to come out of hiding since every knew he was alive again. From what he tells me, he apparated here only to be attacked by a dark wizard."

"How does he know the wizard was a dark one?" Harry asked viscously, his eyes boring holes into Draco's head. His words left no question as to what he was insinuating: if Draco knew it was a dark wizard, then perhaps he had set this whole thing up as a trap. Draco read it all in his eyes.

"You'd like that wouldn't you Potter? Me trying to trap you all, you capturing me and being a hero once again? Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't know who it was that attacked me," he said around bites of his sandwich. "I know it was a dark wizard because of the spell he cast at me. Not many wizards know it, and the ones that do, well the generally tend to be evil."

"Must be why you know it," Harry spat out at him.

"Yes well regardless of Draco's less then healthy knowledge of dark spells, the fact remains that a wizard was here last night waiting for Ms. Granger. No one could have possibly known Draco was coming here, I doubt he knew himself, before he apparated. So that leaves only one possibility," Remus said.

"Whoever it was, was waiting to kill me," Hermione said. She had remained silent so far, not wanting to interrupt the flow of information she was finally receiving.

"Yes," Remus nodded.

"Why?" she asked.

"Well uh, as for that," Remus said nervously, clearing his throat and looking at Draco

Draco shot a meaningful look at Remus and said, "You have long been Voldermort's obsession Hermione, right from the beginning. Oh he wants Potter dead all right, though I can't really argue with him there," Draco said lightly, causing Fred to laugh.

"What?" Fred said innocently at the looks shot his way.

"Yeah well, it isn't exactly breaking news that Voldermort wants Hermione dead now is it Malfoy?" Ron said, leaning forward slightly. "He came for her in fifth year remember?" Draco felt Hermione tense on the couch next to her at Weasley's words. "He failed then, we just have to make sure he fails now."

"He didn't exactly fail then Ron," Fred whispered.

Draco turned to Hermione, his eyes watching her carefully. Harry and Ron were looking at Fred curiously. But Draco didn't care; he was watching the emotions run across Hermione's face. She was staring back at him, both of them remembering the day he had put the dagger to her throat. Suddenly Draco Malfoy realized something. "They took her didn't they?" he asked the others, but continued looking at Hermione.

"Well yeah, but we got her back dead quick," Ron said matter-of-factly. He was very confused by the sudden change in the room. Harry, too, was confused by everything. Remus and Fred were looking sadly at Hermione, while Malfoy and Hermione just stared at each other. Sadness and pain on her face; realization and understanding on his.

"You got her back, but not quick enough I'd dare say?" Draco asked, his voice begging them to answer him.

"No, not nearly quick enough," Hermione said, her voice thick with venom.

"What are you talking about Hermione?" Ron asked, his face etched with worry.

"You were fine," Harry stated, though it sounded as though he was trying to convince himself that she had indeed been fine.

But Malfoy didn't care about any of this. He was suddenly making connections in his head and before he could think about what he was doing he said, "That's why, that day with the dagger, that's why you didn't run." He didn't notice Fred look up sharply at the word dagger, nor the look that crossed his face. He didn't notice the questioning look that Harry and Ron shot Remus, nor the shrug he gave them. All he noticed were her eyes.

After a few moments of silence she finally answered him. "Yes," and as she answered her eyes fell from his. Draco sat back into the couch, his mind suddenly reeling. He knew now what had happened to her; there was no need for it to be spelled out for him. He hadn't grown up in Malfoy Manor all those years without seeing what happened to those Voldermort wanted captured. Oh yes, they had rescued her, they had saved her from certain death at the Dark Lord's hands, but they hadn't been in time to save her innocence. They had saved her body that day, but not her soul. The very thing that had made Hermione, Hermione, had died that day.

Draco suddenly understood the darkness that had surrounded her after that day. He understood why she had begged him with her eyes to finish her off. He had put it down to the war brewing around her, but he had been wrong. The day he had tried to take her life, he had seen the truth in her eyes, but he had fled from it. Today, he once again saw the truth, but this time, this time he would not run.

Apparently, Draco was not the only person of some intelligence in that room, for the look of realization, was slowly blossoming on Harry and Ron's faces. Fred, for his part, had figured some of this out ages ago, but it did not prepare him for being hit with the facts head on, and he leaned back slowly in his chair, his thoughts racing around what new significance the dagger he had found so long ago, had suddenly taken. Remus, for all that he knew what had transpired, sat quietly watching the scene unfold before him.

"They hurt you," Harry stated, his eyes colder then ever before. "They touched you."

"Why didn't you ever tell us Hermione?" Ron asked, his eyes pleading for some explanation.

Hermione, looking smaller then ever, took a long breath to calm herself down. "Look, boys, it happened almost four years ago. We were young and reckless and I was afraid if you knew...well, I didn't want you two doing anything stupid. Besides it was easier for me to ignore the whole thing, the less I thought about it, the more I could imagine it didn't happen." Slowly her whole demeanor began to change. It had happened all those years ago, and she was a lot more helpless then, then she was now. Her back straightened slightly and the deep sadness fled from her eyes.

"Damn Gryffindor courage," Draco whispered next to her so only she could hear. His voice was void of pity and shame. That was one of the reasons she supposed she was drawn to him. He would never pity her; he knew she didn't need it.

"Look we can all have a nice long talk about this later. Right now, we have to deal with the present," Hermione said firmly. The atmosphere in the room instantly changed. Harry and Ron, though not yet satisfied with the explanation they had just received regarding the shocking news, knew better then to argue with Hermione's determination. The looked once at each other, then momentarily let the subject go. Fred stood up and disappeared into the kitchen.

Remus, deciding this was probably the single most stressful day he had ever experienced leaned forward and said, "Hermione's right. The fact is that they want you dead. We will not allow that."

Hermione sighed wearily and stole a look at Malfoy. It was extremely surreal, his presence here. She still had no idea why he was here? But part of her was glad he was. Out of everyone in this room, he treated her as his equal in everything. She could not explain it, but- suddenly her thoughts were cut off. Wait, why was he here? She sat up so suddenly that all conversation stopped and they turned to watch her. She sat staring at Malfoy and he squirmed slightly under her gaze. "Why are you here?" she asked. "I mean why did you apparate here, out of everywhere in the wizarding world, why did you come to my flat? And how did you even know where I lived?"

Draco looked as though he were a deer caught in headlights. He was frozen to the spot by her sudden questions, questions he was hoping to avoid for as long as possible. He saw the stubborn, set look in her eyes and he knew then, that if he didn't turn away from her, he would tell her everything. Everything he had done for her; the people he had killed, for her; the fact that she was his one weakness. His breathing was becoming audibly louder and he mustered all his strength and was finally able to rip his gaze from hers. His eyes found Remus' and held them, not knowing what else to do.

The room was in complete silence. Fred had returned with a carton of orange juice, which had frozen halfway to his mouth when Hermione had come out with her questions. Moments passed by, but for Draco it felt like hours. He could feel her eyes on him; he could feel all of their eyes on him.

Finally Remus sighed, breaking the silence. "You should tell her Draco." Draco widened his eyes slightly but still did not say anything. Remus shook his head and said softly, "It would make everything so much easier if she knew, if they all knew."

"I don't need her pity," Draco spat at him.

"Draco..." Remus began but stopped at the look in the young man's eyes. It was not his story to tell and if the boy wished not to tell it, then Remus would respect that decision. He wouldn't like it, but he would respect it. He knew that eventually Hermione would find out about Lucius, about everything that had happened; he knew they all would know eventually. But apparently today would once again not be that way.

"The last thing I want from her is her pity," Draco said. He suddenly stood up and left the room without a backward glance. The sound of Hermione's bedroom door slamming echoed through her flat.

"Well now, isn't he just a chipper one," Fred said, though his voice held no amusement.

* * *

Draco was pacing Hermione's bedroom, his mind reeling. He hadn't even been back in her life for twenty-four hours and already he felt as though his head would explode. He had known she had been taken, hell the whole school had known, but he had always assumed they had got her out before the Death-Eater's could begin their menu of torture. How could he have been so stupid to not realize what they had done to her when he had seen her look at him the way she had so very long ago?

A stray thought began to fight its way through his muddled mind. Could it have been possible that his father had been one of the ones to take her? He suddenly started laughing to himself. Oh the depths of his stupidity were really quite astounding. Of course his father had had a part in it. Now, more then ever, Draco relished the fact that he had killed his own flesh and blood. His thoughts were interrupted by a slight knock on the door. Before he could say a thing the door opened slightly and Hermione slipped into the room.

"I love how you are just making yourself at home here," she said sarcastically, referring to his very eloquent exit from her living room into her bedroom.

"Well, I figure, I've already slept in your bed, can't feel anymore at home then that," he replied mischievously, walking towards her and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He was rewarded with a genuine smile, a small one, but a real one none-the-less.

"Draco Malfoy, you best watch your tone, I would hate to hex you into oblivion," she playfully said brushing past him and settling herself on the edge of her bed. She took a deep breath. "It amazes me how easy it is to get along with you sometimes. Mind you, half the time I just want to grab you by the throat and choke you until I get all the answers from you I need. But the other half, the other half of the time I could just sit and talk with you for hours. I barely know you, yet, lord," she suddenly exclaimed throwing her body roughly on the bed behind her.

She was tired and angry, her hair splayed wildly around her, her body slim and tense, and her eyes closed as though she could ignore the sudden turn her life was taking. To Draco Malfoy, she had never looked more beautiful. Taking a chance, he cautiously sat down on the bed next to her, his eyes focused on the door across from him. "Was my father there?" he asked quite suddenly.

She was not surprised that he had asked that; she had been expecting it. She opened her eyes slightly and saw his back in front of her. His black shirt was torn in several places from where glass had been forced into his back. His hair was still a bit wet from his shower. She realized she liked him better without all that gel he used to wear in it. "Yes, he was there," she finally answered him. She watched the effect her words had on him. His back and shoulders tensed up slightly and his head fell to his chest. She could not see his face, but she imagined the look she would find there.

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered in a rough voice.

"Don't be daft. You weren't there; you did nothing to harm me that day. You have nothing to be sorry about. Your father and his cronies had there fun, but you are not him. Besides, he is dead now Malfoy, he doesn't rule anyone's life anymore," she said softly, reaching up with her hand to stroke his back slightly.

He turned towards her suddenly, his eyes a mixture of emotions, emotions Draco didn't understand. He looked down at her tiny, strong body. He felt her hand on his back; almost burning a hole through him it felt so hot. Her eyes were staring heavily into his, without pity. Before him lay a young woman who had been hurt in horrible ways by his own father, yet amazingly she was not afraid to touch him. His heart was threatening to break out of his chest any moment. Without thinking he leaned over and brought his face above hers. Her eyes widened slightly but she didn't move. He moved his lips forward and gently kissed her forehead.

He pulled away slightly, so he could see her eyes. "Thank you," he whispered, his breath brushing her face softly.

She lay there frozen beneath his gaze, the spot where he had kissed her head burning a line right into the pit of her stomach. She looked at the tortured man before her and was not afraid. "For what?" she asked softly.

"For not hating me," he replied. He still had so much to tell her about, so much to warn her about, but he realized he was purposely stopping himself from telling her everything. He had been the reason she had been in pain enough times in the past, he didn't want to do that to her again. He was stalling and he knew it. He wanted to keep her safe from the truth for as long as he could. He couldn't give her back her innocence, but he could give her peace, if only for a little while.

"I used to hate you," she said smiling softly at the look on his face.

"When did you stop?" he asked her curiously. A strand of his hair had fallen loose from his ear and was now tickling her cheek.

"The day you figured out blood didn't matter. The day I figured out you wouldn't ever hurt me," she said hesitantly. His eyes widened slightly in surprise. How had she known what had run through his mind that day? As if she had heard his thoughts she said, "You never called me mudblood after that day."

A small smile graced his lips as he stared down at the woman below him. Her hand had slowly slid down his back to rest lightly on the base of his spine during her words. He wanted to touch her then, to show her how he felt, to lose all control, but he couldn't. He had the blood of monsters on his hands. How could he ever touch her again with them? She saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes and understood. She lifted her head slightly so her cheek rested against his. She wasn't sure why she was so drawn to him, but at this moment she could do nothing to deny her body's urge to be close to him.

Suddenly her bedroom door opened. "Hermione, Ron and Fred are going to head back to see Mrs. Weasley and send an owl to Dumbl-" Harry froze as he took in the scene before him. "Eh, sorry, should have knocked. Um yeah so, when you're done in here we have to talk about where we're going to hide you." And with that he turned and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Harry entered the kitchen to find Remus rummaging for some food. Harry continued staring at Remus, his mind trying to process what he had just witnessed, his mind racing to process everything that had happened the past few years. Remus, feeling Harry staring at him, turned towards the young man.

"He loves her, doesn't he?" Harry quietly asked Remus.

Remus paused for only a moment before deciding he would not lie to Harry. "He does."

Harry winced slightly, his eyes darkening. "Would he die for her?" he asked.

"Yes," Remus asked without hesitating.

Harry processed this piece of information, his mind moving slowly, but with purpose through past memories, past conversations. Remus watched the young wizard quietly, knowing what his next question would be.

Harry's mind stopped and his body froze. His eyes traveled back to Remus'. "He killed for her, didn't he?"

Remus smiled sadly and nodded, noting the pain in Harry's eyes. Harry turned away from him and gripped the counter, his knuckles going white. "Does she know?" Harry asked almost painfully.

"No Harry," Remus said shaking his head. "No, she doesn't."

Harry breathed in deeply for a moment, slowly bringing his head up. He then turned, walked past Remus and into the living room where Remus heard the sound of Harry apparating.

"He loves her you know," Fred's voice came from suddenly behind him. Remus turned and saw the tall redhead leaning casually against the wall eating from a box of Berti Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

"I thought you left with Ron. How long have you been standing there?" Remus asked sharply.

"Long enough," Fred replied just as sharply, his eyes losing all mirth as they stared Remus down. Seeing the intense look in Fred's eyes, Remus backed down. He closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh.

Don't worry, I didn't hear anything I hadn't already worked out for myself," Fred said quietly. "But I meant what I said before about Harry. He loves her," he said pointing to Hermione's room. Remus looked at him with surprise in his eyes.

"You never knew?" Fred asked, the disbelief evident in his tone.

"No, I hadn't. I-" Remus began but then paused. Things were becoming very clear to him. He slowly approached the couch and let his slender frame fall slowly onto it.

"Yeah well," Fred began as he walked over and took the seat opposite of Remus, "he does. Has since way back. I notice these things, see? He loves her. He resigned himself to the fact that she would never return that love a long time ago." Fred threw another bean in his mouth and grimaced slightly before saying, "Paint. Ew. Anyway. He knew she would never love him back, but I don't really think he was prepared to deal with her falling in love with Malfoy."

Here Remus' eyebrows raised slightly, "And do you really think that is what is happening Fred?"

Fred took a minute to study the ragged appearance of the man before him. "I do. She doesn't know it, and will fight herself about it, but I honestly think whether we want him to or not, that Draco Malfoy isn't going anywhere for a while."

It was Remus' turn to study the young man before him. He had always known Fred and George had brains. They couldn't come up with half the things they made for their shop if they didn't, but he had never thought of either one of the as cunning. "There is more to you then meets the eye, Mr. Weasley," Remus said, making a note to keep an eye on this young one.

"Yeah well there usually is with everyone," Fred said seriously. "So what now?"

"Now we get her out of here," came Malfoy's voice from the kitchen doorway. Hermione stood next to him looking carefully between Fred and Remus as if wondering what these two could possibly have been talking about so seriously.

A sudden popping noise brought their attention to the centre of the living room where a man dressed completely in black had suddenly appeared. "Oh Merlin," Remus said out loud. The man turned and regarded his with a scathing look before locking his eyes back onto Draco.

"What are you doing here, Snape?" Remus growled out.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**"If you love me, got to know for sure. Cause it takes something more this time, then sweet sweet lies, before I open up my arms and fall, losing all control."**

**-This Year's Love, David Gray**


	11. Those Unseen

**Title: Those Unseen**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: A look at someone not seen from in a while**

**A/N: I must personally thank lorett who has been an amazing inspiration and a wonderful friend. Also to 'a', your wonderful pestering forced me to put something down on the computer to get my creative juices flowing again!**

**Thank you so much everyone who reviewed the last chapter and everyone who is still following this little story of mine! I love you all and promise to finish this story, no matter how long it takes!**

* * *

She sat gazing at the white, bare wall not really seeing anything, not really noticing the movement around her. It had been this way for years but she was unaware of the time. The nurses who tended her would whisper to themselves about what a beauty she had once been, what a life she had once led. But it was all no more.

She was unaware of anything past, present, and future. Unaware of any memories but for one. He stood out like a shining beacon in her troubled mind. He was the light in a world that had never known good. He had been the only thing she had done right. But he was lost to her now and it was her fault. She couldn't remember why, or even how he had been taken from her, all she knew was that something bad had happened and then he was gone. Or maybe she had gone? Maybe she had done something that had caused her to leave.

Either way she was sure she would never see him again or feel his presence. It didn't matter. She was locked within her own mind, terribly unaware of the world around her. Had she been even the slightest bit aware she would have heard the mutterings and understood. She would have heard the nurses whisper as they read over _The Daily Prophet_. She would have understood that he had been sighted. Had she been able to remember the past, she would have understood the danger he was now in.

But Narcissa Malfoy was horribly unaware of anything around her. Even as the creature in black slithered his way past the nurse's station unseen, she sat staring at the white, bare wall unblinking. Even as he circled her twice as a hunter circles its prey, she sat unmoving. Had she been aware of the world around her she would have seen him lean over her, his cold breath freezing the skin by her ear. Had she been able to process any kind of thought, Narcissa Malfoy would have heard the words he hissed to her. Had she been able to scream, her cries would have echoed through the halls.

Amazingly something of the woman she had once been must have remained in the shell of her body, for as she sat thinking the same thought she had been thinking for the past four years, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

As the creature in black slithered his way back out of the ward at St. Mungo's, only one person beside Narcissa Malfoy was witness to his passage and his warning. Unfortunately he too was in St. Mungo's for a reason. Unfortunately he had no way of communicating what he had just overheard.

* * *

Patricia Alabaster shivered, as momentarily, all lights in the ward seemed to dim. She wrapped her shawl around her body tighter and checked the hall, not really knowing what she was looking for. Nothing. She shook her head slightly, the beads in her graying hair the only noise. She turned and walked back to her chair when a slight noise from inside the ward behind her made her turn back around. Grabbing her wand she pushed the curtain aside and gazed into the dark room. Everything seemed the same. "Lumos," she muttered and followed the light of her wand further into the room. As she approached Mrs. Malfoy, she sighed in pity.

Had the woman been able to resurface for a single second, she would be aware that her son had reemerged into the land of the living. As Patricia came face to face with Mrs. Malfoy's unseeing eyes she gasped quite loudly. There on the poor woman's once beautiful face was a single tear. "Mrs. Malfoy?" Patricia asked, not really expecting an answer. When none came she took a handkerchief from her pocket and gently wiped the tear away.

Resettling the woman in her blankets she turned her attention to the only other occupant of the ward and for the second time that evening, gasped in surprise. The usually still and calm patient was opening and closing his mouth in such rapid movements that his actions could not be mistaken. He was apparently trying to tell someone something, but alas, the poor boy would never be able to speak again. All anyone could do was offer him comfort. His usually distant eyes seemed to focus on Patricia in an almost shocking way. But a second later they rolled back into his head. Poor lad.

Tucking his blankets back around his tired body. She turned and prepared to leave the room when she suddenly froze. Shock was something that Patricia Alabaster did not experience, but apparently tonight she was going for three out of three. Mrs. Malfoy was currently sitting up and staring straight into her eyes. There was no doubt in Patricia's mind that Narcissa saw her.

"He is going to kill my son," she uttered from a dry and unused throat before dropping back onto her bed, her eyes returning to their normal state.

For ten minutes Patricia Alabaster stood there unmoving as though she were one of her patients. She should by all rights inform the head healer. She should by all rights be doing anything other then just standing there. But by all rights what she had just witnessed should never have happened.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**"Dead eyes, do you see me?" -unknown**


	12. Then The Nightmares Come

**Title: Then The Nightmares Come**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Summary: Finally, Snape's exposure to a strange world**

**Without further ado!**

* * *

He stared into the dying fire before him and allowed the fire whiskey to burn down his throat. What had he gotten himself into? Severus Snape was never one to dwell on what could be, but tonight, as he sat in the freezing dungeon of a house not his, he began to wonder if what he had just done would change things for the better. After all, he had changed sides for more than self-preservation. He had changed sides for the simple reason that he refused to live his life following anyone's orders but his own. Dumbledore offered him that freedom, no more no less. So Dumbledore's side would be Snape's. He knocked back the rest of his drink and threw the glass into the blue fire before him. He would soon find out if his decision had been the right one. Soon.

* * *

_Flashback_

To say that Severus Snape's presence in Miss Granger's flat was unwanted would have to be the understatement of the century. Why he could practically feel the temperature in the room drop to freezing. Then again that could just be caused by that particularly unflattering look Miss Granger's face. He had never had the opportunity to visit Miss Granger's home before; an opportunity he could honestly say he didn't regret not having. Besides the very worn copy of "Hogwart's: A History" and a very battered Cleansweep 6 in the corner, her entire flat screamed muggle. Snape sniffed and brought his attention back to those before him.

"Mr. Malfoy," Snape said coldly, his beady eyes running over Malfoy as though wondering if he was indeed real.

"Severus," Malfoy answered just as coldly, stepping in front of Hermione when he noticed Snape's gaze lingering on her.

Silently taking not of Malfoy's action, Snape's eyebrows rose ever so slightly and a dark smile tugged at his lips. "Severus is it?" Snape asked the young man before him. "Well, well, Draco," and he allowed himself to draw out the name, "my how we have grown up. I trust the years of playing dead have been kind? Plenty of warm caves to sleep in? Lots of rats and the such?"

"Why are you here, Severus?" Remus asked again suddenly, breaking Snape's gaze away from Malfoy.

Snape's face grimaced slightly as he took in Remus Lupin's haggard appearance. His mind instinctively calculated the days left until the next full moon. "Dumbledore sent me. Apparently a very concerned Mr. Weasley has just recently informed him of a rather, hmm, how to say…delicate situation that has arisen."

"He was meant to send an owl," Remus said, almost to himself.

"Yes well Mr. Weasley's touching concern for those he cares about got the better of him and he personally delivered the message. A shame really. I had avoided seeing a Weasley child for almost a whole year now," he said, his gaze falling onto Fred. "I guess my streak of luck has finally run out."

Fred stood up and stared at Snape for a long moment with an unreadable look in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again thinking better of it. He cocked his head to the side slightly and ran his eyes over Snape's greasy, dark appearance. Suddenly Fred smiled and said, "You're not worth getting worked up over." Snape's eyes, though it had seemed impossible, got even harder. Fred turned his look away from his former professor and walked past Hermione and Malfoy into the kitchen. Sounds of his search through her refrigerator could be heard.

Snape stood in the middle of the room raging inside. He was appalled at the way these children fancied themselves so grown-up. Oh yes, he considered them simply children, children trying to play a game that was above their level of abilities. He had never agreed with Dumbledore's need to draw them into the inner workings of the Order, and he had never been quiet about his misgivings. Attempting to shove the feelings of anguish that threatened to overtake his judgment, he brought his attention back to the one person in this room he had actually been anticipating seeing.

To Snape's eyes, Draco Malfoy had not changed much in the two years he had been missing. He had never truly believed the boy to be dead; Malfoy's were too clever for that. And he had always held Draco Malfoy above the rest of his psychotic family. That's all they had been anyway, that's all any of them were. Power-hungry wizards drunk on their own greatness. But in Draco he had seen a glimmer of something different, not at first, but towards the end he had seen something in Draco that no Malfoy had ever had.

The boy was, is and always would be a very dark person; Snape had no doubt about that. Lucius had seen to that before he had gone and got himself killed. He had left enough physical and mental scars upon his son that would make it impossible for Draco to live a normal life. Never had Snape seen a father so out to destroy his own son. But then again, looking back, Snape realized Lucius was out to destroy pretty much everything in his life, including his own mind. Unfortunately his wife and child had paid most dearly for it.

Snape did not for a moment feel pity or sympathy for the boy. You had to survive what was thrown your way, or else lay down and let it rule you. Survival of the fittest. No, Snape did not pity Draco one bit. Snape respected the boy; it was a deep, painful respect, but he respected Draco none-the-less. If he were to be honest, Draco's life very much paralleled his own and that is why he respected the young wizard standing before him.

Two years had matured him both physically and mentally. When Draco had been his student, his eyes had been so very easy to read. He had been a simple, uncomplicated person back then, running mainly on hate and obedience. But now his eyes were hard, deep, and full of emotion. Snape was not blind to the reason behind that emotion. The way he had placed his body in between the girl and what he had perceived as danger had been only one of the many signs. Then again the most obvious reason was still a badly kept secret that was now causing all sorts of problems. Snape allowed himself to laugh inwardly at the path the young man had chosen to take. Lucius must be rolling in his cursed grave.

Snape shook his head, his greasy, black hair shifting slightly. He brought his thoughts back to the present and the task at hand. Now was not the time to let his thoughts travel backwards. Snape hated the past so much he often wondered why he bothered to fight so very hard for his future. He wasn't a decent person, he had decided years ago, but he refused to be a monster.

"Dumbledore informed me of recent events and has sent me with a course of action," Snape finally said, turning slightly towards Remus to see that he had heard his words.

"And since when are you Dumbledore's messenger pigeon?" Malfoy said, his voice flat and cautious.

Snape smirked at the ignorance of the boy and watched as Hermione put a soft hand on Draco's arm. The boy turned his head to her, his eyes meeting hers. Whatever he read there caused his body to relax visibly. "Later," Snape heard the girl whisper. He knew that by tomorrow Malfoy would know all about his double life. The list of people who knew what his role in this war was, steadily kept growing longer. A necessary thing, but regrettable all the same.

"Yes, I suppose Miss Granger here is right for once," he sneered as Hermione turned her cold eyes to his. "Explanations would best be kept for later. Time is of the essence. Shall we proceed forward then?" he asked as though addressing a room full of his potions students.

"And just what do you have in mind, Severus?" Remus asked

Snape allowed himself the luxury of a dramatic pause before he answered. "Well, staying here is most certainly not an option seeing as the entire wizarding world is after you."

"What? What are you talking about? I didn't realize I was in that much danger?" Hermione squeaked out. Snape was momentarily confused by her outburst.

"It is not you they are after, Miss Granger, so do stop your fretting," he spat at her.

"What do you mean, Snape? They were here waiting or her last night," Remus told him, his eyes narrowing as he pinned Snape with an almost animal look.

"Yes, true, they came with intention of capturing Miss Granger, but she was to be bait for him," he said coldly as he extended his arm and pointed at Malfoy.

"So technically they really were after her," Fred said, having returned from his kitchen crusade with a bag of biscuits. Really the lad's appetite was something to astound even the most uninterested of people.

"Oh will you shut up, Weasley! Finer points aside, Mister Malfoy is their main target, so it is Mister Malfoy who we must hide," Snape practically shouted, his impatience with the Weasley clan soaring to new heights.

"Why me?" Draco suddenly asked, though the look in his eyes told Severus that he already knew the reason.

"You didn't actually think you could do what you did and get away with it did you?" Snape asked as he coolly arched his eyebrow. The glare Malfoy shot back told him all. "You would have been better off staying dead, Mister Malfoy. The Dark Lord has had one Malfoy taken from him against his wishes. He now requires the other Malfoy as payment of this debt. He wants his vengeance. You have been volunteered," Snape said quietly and watched as Draco grew paler than ever, though his eyes retained their hardness.

"And just where do you plan on hiding me Severus? If your Master really wants my blood so badly, there are few places he would not find me," Draco spat out.

"Why I would think that would be glaringly obvious," Snape said and had the pleasure of delivering the news that had brought him to this place. "We'll be going to Malfoy Manor of course." The silence that followed was almost laughable.

The looks he was receiving were priceless. Fred Weasley had spit the entire contents of his mouth into Hermione's hair. She didn't notice however, as her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. Draco, for his part, simply stood frozen, his eyes ice as he stared at Snape. As for the werewolf, there was a cold calculating look in his mistrustful eyes.

"That would be suicide," Lupin said evenly, his voice low but failing to hide his concern.

"I won't go back there," Draco said firmly, his hands unconsciously seeking Hermione's body.

"Oh you will, Mister Malfoy. You don't exactly have a choice in the matter," Snape said, a small smile slowly creeping onto his face.

* * *

And that is how he had found his way here, in front of a dying fire getting thoroughly drunk in a house he too had vowed he would never set foot in again. But here he was, stuck with several people he could barely stand. Dumbledore had suggested they hide here, and at the time Severus had agreed with the old man's logic. There were so many protective spells on the house, there really were few safer places. Plus, never in a million years would Voldemort suspect Draco to come back here.

But after the day's events, Snape was ready to throw Dumbledore's cool logic out the window and run for the hills. Having to spend time with Lupin would normally be enough to try his patience. Throw in Miss Granger, a severely disturbed Draco Malfoy, an amazingly annoying Fred Weasley who insisted on popping up everywhere, and a certain Boy-Who-Lived who had tagged along for the ride at the last minute, and Severus Snape highly doubted he would have his sanity by morning.

A loud feminine scream suddenly echoed through the gigantic manor followed by the sound of running feet and heavy breathing. Fred Weasley barged through the door and skidded to a halt when he saw Snape. "Hide me!" he shouted, his voice bordering on panic.

Snape had not moved. The alcohol had clouded his mind, but enough of these occurrences had happened throughout the day that he was now unfazed. "Whatever it is you have done to Miss Granger this time, Weasley, you will have to get out of it yourself. I am not your babysitter," Snape managed to say without slurring too much.

Just then a very wet, very purple, and very upset looking Hermione Granger entered the room. Her eyes were huge and wild, her teeth audibly grinding. "I will kill you," she said, steel in her voice. She whipped out her wand and pointed it at Fred.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Fred screamed before running out the back of the room, Hermione close on his tail.

Not ten seconds later none other then Harry Potter himself came running into the room. "Where are they?" he asked through gasps. Snape simply pointed to the back. "Thanks," Potter shouted as he ran after. A loud explosion could be heard from their direction.

As expected, Malfoy came running in a few seconds later. He froze as Fred, looking slightly singed came shooting back into the room. "Go, go, she has finally lost it," he shouted at Malfoy. The two ran out of the room only to be followed closely by Hermione and Potter.

Snape stood up slowly, a twitch having finally reached his left eye. He walked over to the expensive mahogany bar by the fire, grabbed the glass bottle, and proceeded to choke down the entire contents. Merlin help him, he had better had made the right decision all those years ago.

"FRED WEASLEY!" came Granger's shrill shout followed by yet another explosion.

Snape began to pray that someone, anyone, even the Dark Lord himself would come and take him away. He was even beginning to hope Granger's screams would wake up Lupin. Having no other option, he picked up another bottle and choked down even more alcohol. If he had to stay here with these children, he would make sure he couldn't remember it in the morning.

* * *

**A/N: Hiya! No real cliffhanger this time folks! My treat. But do not fret, plenty of action coming up. I do so hope you all enjoyed it. I had to throw in the last scene there to lighten the story up a bit. It has gotten quite dark and serious that I wanted to reinstate the fact that these really are just children. They are only about 19-22 years of age. I hope it worked!**

**Love, Ally**

**"Oh nothing Tommy. It's tip-top. It's just I'm not sure about the colour." –Turkish  
**


	13. And You Get Blown Away

**Title: …And You Get Blown Away**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: M  
**

**Summary: Just another day at Malfoy Mansion!**

* * *

"I'm bored," Harry mumbled, his body thrown haphazardly on the elegant emerald green sofa. An enormous fire was blazing in an even bigger fireplace, and the expensive chess set sitting in front of him lay motionless.

"Shut up, Potter," Malfoy muttered, not even bothering to open his eyes from his position across the room. His legs were thrown out in front of him; his hurt and tired body slumped down in the red leather chair. "No one invited you anyway."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry shot back, though his heart wasn't in it. He glanced around the obviously rich drawing room and wondered how a house so large and full of stuff could be so boring. After the little incident earlier with Fred, Hermione had gone of to her room and Remus was still resting, leaving the three young men to their own devices. Turns out that their own devices seemed to be stuck in sitting mode.

"I wish I had my Firebolt," Harry said without realizing it.

"You and that damn broom Potter. If I didn't know any better I would think you had married it and were now known as Mrs. Accio-Firebolt," Draco said tiredly. Harry bit back a reply and sighed loudly.

"Great, now even I am bored," piped in Fred from across the chess table. He lay upside down staring at the pieces, his feet dangling gracelessly in the air.

"How could a Weasley Twin be bored?" Harry asked, feigning shock.

Fred managed to crack a slight smile before replying, "It has to be this monstrosity of a house. It is so empty and dull."

"Yeah well, it's not like my father spent his money on dolls, or toy ponies," Draco said from his corner of the room.

Silence enveloped the room, their conversation having met a dead end. The warmth of the fire seemed to press down on them, smothering their thoughts, and making them wish they were anywhere else. Unfortunately, since it had been abandoned for several years, the drawing room was one of the few rooms that they had bothered to clean. That was when the unfortunate incident with Fred and Hermione had taken place.

"Damnit, now I am bored," Draco said, his eyes opening as he sighed mightily.

"Well, what do you wanna do?" Fred asked, his speech slightly slurry as the blood continued to rush to his upside down head.

Silence met his question as all three sat contemplating something the three of them could possible do together. Suddenly, just as it seemed no one would answer, they heard footsteps approaching the room.

* * *

Hermione sat alone in the room she had been given, taking in the richness of the room. Malfoy had explained it had once been his mother's and Hermione could see that the woman had had a very rich taste. Venetian seemed to be the theme and she had no doubt that Narcissa Malfoy had acquired most of the décor in Venice itself. She walked towards the far wall, her fingers reaching up to touch an elegant frame. Inside, a young Draco sat beside his mother. Neither smiled.

She sighed and walked back to sit on the bed, looking out the window at the amazing grounds behind the manor. She couldn't really imagine growing up in a place like this. She would have been too afraid to touch anything. The minute they had all entered the front door, she felt the vastness of the house and wondered if Malfoy had felt alone growing up here. Lord knows she felt alone now.

After she had bathed in the amazing pearl tub, she had tried to get some sleep. Her thoughts wouldn't allow her to and she had started exploring her room. However, she was quite bored now and decided to wander a bit and maybe see what the boys were up to. She shook her head as she thought of the three of them trying to get along for an afternoon. Chances are she would have to go on a hunt to find all three. Malfoy was probably brooding in his room, Harry was probably looking the place over for traps, and Fred, well he was probably setting traps. Her mind darkened a bit at the thought of the Weasley as she remembered the horrible pranks he had pulled on her earlier. She would get her revenge. It was only a matter of time.

Entering the hallway she was deciding whether to go right or left when she heard a loud explosion from downstairs followed by screaming. Taking off at a run, she ran towards the noise and the screaming. As she ran down the stairs and approached the Drawing Room she froze in the doorway at the scene before her.

"Ahhhhhh," Fred's scream rang through the room.

"How did you find us?" Harry's voice said with dead calm.

"It wasn't difficult Potter. It has always been easy to predict the movements of the forces of good," came a croaky and hiss-like voice.

"Leave this house Voldemort, before we make you," Draco said.

"Hahaha, foolish little Slytherin boy. You should know better then to order me around. Come back to the dark side Draco, and you will be rewarded with power beyond your imagination," came the same screechy voice.

"Never! I will never join you," Draco shouted.

"Then suffer the consequences as you stand beside The-Boy-Who-Lived and the noble Weasley clan," came the screechy voice.

"Help! Help me Fred," came a high-pitched feminine voice.

"Don't worry Hermione, I will save you," said Fred.

"Wait! Why do you get to save her," Harry asked.

"Because I am dashing, charming, intelligent, and generally swoon-worthy," Fred answered.

"Uh, I don't think so. If anyone is going to be the hero here it will be me," Draco said, his voice full of importance.

"Forget that. I am The-Boy-Who-Lived remember! I get to save the girl," Harry said, his voice becoming angry.

"You either get to save the girl or kill the Dark Lord, Potter, one or the other," Draco spat angrily back.

"No one can kill me," came the evil screechy voice.

"Shut up!" Harry, Fred and Draco shouted at the voice.

"I think we already decided I would be the hero here," Fred said.

Hermione had had enough. "What, in all that is holy, is going on here?" At the sound of her voice the three young men in front of her froze. Looks of fear and confusion on all their faces.

"Her-Hermione? What are you doing downstairs?" Draco stuttered as his hands flew behind his back.

"Yeah well got bored, didn't I. Now someone please explain," she said, her voice tight with control, her eyes gleaming. She couldn't give in just yet. She would make them suffer just a bit more.

"Well, uh you see, well honestly, Hermione, what did you expect us to do?" Fred said quite pathetically, the puppets on his hand still raised level with his chest. Harry was attempting to throw his to the floor, but it seemed one had gotten stuck. Malfoy still had his behind his back and was looking everywhere but at her. She looked at the floor and noticed they had built a huge fort out of cushions, books and paper. Someone had magicked the flags to wave in the imaginary wind.

"You won't tell Ron will you, Mione?" Harry pleaded having finally thrown the puppets to the ground.

Hermione was very proud of herself for not releasing the laughter that was threatening to escape. This was just too priceless. Never before had she wished so much for a camera. When she had entered the room, they had been sprawled on the floor surrounding the fort acting out what had seemed to her an attack from Voldemort. But wait. There had been eight puppets running about the fort.

"Wait, so who was Voldemort?" she asked, her curiosity getting the best of her. Suddenly Remus stood up from the middle of the fort where he had been hidden. A Voldermort puppet and what she could only assume was a Hermione puppet hanging limply from his hands. His eyes were wide and panicked.

"They made me do it," he squeaked out. Hermione lost her last shred of control and finally released her laughter. Tears streamed down her face as she wondered at the turn of events that could force these unlikely companions into such a display.

"Well fine if you are going to be like that about it," Harry mumbled before fleeing the room followed closely by a very red Remus.

"Wait, we didn't vanquish the Dark Lord yet!" Fred shouted as he ran after them, taking his puppets with him.

Finally managing to reign in some of her laughter, Hermione felt as though a weight had been lifted. A weight that had been sitting on her shoulders for the past few days. She looked up at the only occupant in the room beside herself.

"Now I have seen everything," she said. "Draco Malfoy playing dolls with Harry Potter, a Weasley, and a werewolf."

She watched as his back stiffened and he finally turned his wandering gaze on her. Her eyes were still gleaming with laughter as she waited for his response.

"Wueue whtre broooheh," he garbled out so quietly she couldn't make out what he said.

She raised her eyebrows and said, "Excuse me?"

He heaved a great sigh and answered, "We were bored okay!" He turned around and threw the puppets he had been holding behind him into the fire. He turned back around and began to walk by her and out of the room, his eyes glowing with embarrassment and anger. Her hand shot out before she knew what she was doing and stopped him as she clung to his arm.

"Stay," she said, her mind wondering why she had said that at all. "I'm sorry. I promise not too make fun of you, just…stay."

* * *

He turned his head to look at her, his face so very close. His eyes met hers and she could feel herself getting lost in those grey depths. Under his scrutiny and the warmth in the room her breath soon became a tad laboured. The more she tried to hide that fact from him, the worse it became. He turned until his body was facing her and walked forwards pushing her body backwards across the room until he had her pushed up against the expensive wallpaper, his eyes growing darker. She felt confusion envelop her as her mind spun. Any ability to think clearly was driven immediately from her as she felt his strong chest push up against hers, his forehead lowering to rest on hers, his breath blowing lightly across her lips.

Suddenly feeling the need for water she opened her mouth slightly and darted her tongue out to moisten her lips. She saw his eyes widen and felt as his breathing stopped for a single second. He brought his hands slowly to her hips, dragged them up her bare arms, and finally placed them on either side of her head on the wall behind her.

Confused by the sudden change in his actions she stuttered out the first thing she thought of, "I won't tell anyone about the puppets."

She felt rather than heard the laughter that escaped his too close body. Flashbacks of an occurrence in the library of Hogwarts so many years ago flooded her mind as she watched his eyes watching hers. Still slightly unsettled by the silence and his proximity she continued to speak. "I can't imagine growing up here. I mean this place is amazing. Did your mother pick out the décor herself? I don't suppose your father would have had much say, or has the house been in your family longer, or…" her words were cut off as his finger came to rest slowly on her lips.

"You ramble when you're nervous, Granger. Why are you nervous?" he whispered his head moving slighting forward until his nose brushed hers.

She took a breath and felt her body finally becoming calm as she allowed herself to accept his closeness. Once she did this she felt her mind quiet and her body relax. It had really only been yesterday that he had stumbled back into her life, but she refused to let him get the upper hand here. He knew what he did to her when he was close, and she wouldn't let him use that knowledge to unnerve her. Two could play at this game.

"Why are you here, Malfoy?" she whispered. She watched as his eyes registered her new frame of mind.

He could feel her relax under him and her eyes seemed to lose their almost panicked look. He didn't know what had possessed him to push them into this position, but once again her touch had driven all rational thought from his mind and he had let something more primal take over. They had been in this house only a few hours, but they might be stuck here for days. He didn't know how he would handle being locked up somewhere with her for that long.

His mind rushed back to her question and he let a small, devilish smile tug at his lips. He ran the tip of his finger on her lips, slowly across her bottom lip and was rewarded with her eyes fluttering closed momentarily. He watched as she snapped them back open. He could see in her eyes a determination not to let him win. This was one of the things that had drawn him to her so many years ago.

"Why are you here, Malfoy?" she repeated, her mouth barely moving against his finger.

"I couldn't stay away any longer," he admitted. He could tell his answer surprised her, hell it had surprised him.

"Why?" she asked, trying to pry the whole truth from him.

He shifted his body slightly so that his leg rested between hers; his head pulled back so he could watch her; his finger on her lips now caressing her cheek. He found that if he allowed himself, he could lose himself forever in exploring her face.

"Why couldn't you stay away?" she persisted. He knew now that she knew why, she just wanted to hear him say it.

"Because of you," he whispered, closing his eyes, unable to watch her reaction. "You blow me away Hermione." He felt her hand on his cheek and opened his eyes. He saw the resolve in her eyes and knew her questions weren't finished.

"Why does everyone look at me so sadly whenever you are mentioned?" she asked, her voice faltering only slightly as though she were afraid of the answer. Draco took a deep breath and released it at the same time closing his eyes. Had the time come? Could he bring himself to tell her the truth of everything? He opened his eyes again and drank in her appearance. He moved both of his hands to her face and slid them up till they were slowly wrapped in her wild hair.

She had been there that night. She had been witness to it all. Her and a handful others. Remus had been there, as had Arthur Weasley. But none of that had mattered at the time. He had gone there knowing what he had to do, but he hadn't expected the end result. She had been there the night he had murdered his father to save her life, but she didn't remember it. He had always been thankful that she didn't remember the events of that night. Had always been thankful she didn't know the truth. Now for the first time he wished she did. That way he wouldn't have to explain it all.

He leaned forward slightly and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth. He pulled back and began to speak. "Hermio-"

Immediately the sound of rushing in the fireplace interrupted him and he could have screamed. He turned and watched as a tall figure materialized out of the fireplace before him.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy! So good to see you again. Oh good good, I see Miss Granger is with you. Come we have much to discuss. Shall we find the others?" Dumbledore said, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye before exiting the room in search of the others.

Draco turned back to face Hermione and caught her eyes for a moment before she slowly pulled away from his hold and followed their former Headmaster out of the room. Draco walked to the fireplace and placed his hands against the mantelpiece. Truth be told he was somewhat relieved the old bat had interrupted them. But a part of him still wished he had been able to get it over with. He knew now he had no choice but to tell her. He had quickly become caught up in her world and she his. They were now taking each other for a ride and he really did not want to see where it was heading.

He glanced to the carpet and saw the remnants of the fort they had been playing with earlier. He had protested and denied his desire to play such a trivial, immature game but secretly he had relished the thought of escaping the drama and tension that had been following him around lately. Watching Potter do the puppet voices had amused him to no end. Not that he would ever admit it. It had been refreshing to act young again; it had been too long.

He heard a noise behind him and turned to see Snape standing in the doorway watching him. "Dumbledore is here," Snape announced.

Draco nodded his head and turned back to the fire. Time would come when this was all going to be over, one way or the other. Was he prepared to do what had to be done to finish this? He hoped so, for her sake, he really hoped so.

"Come on lad. He's waiting," Snape said with unexpected softness. Draco looked back quickly to see if his ears had deceived him but Snape's back was already heading down the hallway.

Crouching down and picking up what Fred had dubbed the "Voltron Puppet" he held it in his hands and stared at the face. He allowed his thumb to run across the face and he grimaced. One man started all this, one man was going to finish it. He stood up and threw the puppet into the fire. "Burn old man," Draco gruffly said before turning and leaving the room.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

"**Oh look what you've done, you've made a fool of everyone. It seems like such fun until you lose what you have won." -Jet**


	14. Glimpses Of The Twin

**Title: Twins**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: M  
**

**Summary: Glimpses of The Twin**

* * *

George stood at the counter, his tall body leaning heavily on his elbows. His eyes were fighting to stay open as he watched his customers mill around the shop. They were fairly busy but George found himself hoping for some excitement. The past few days had been pretty uneventful. Hermione's grand storming out had been the last thing of consequence, and nothing had even come of that.

George let out a great sigh and slid his body farther down until his chin fell softly onto the counter. Merlin, the day was dragging. Two days of incessant rain and endless lines of annoying customers who fancied themselves troublemakers. Ha! As if any of them could even approach Fred and he in their greatness. George looked around looking for someone to agree with his unspoken thought, but alas, he was alone in a sea of people.

As he thought back, he realized he seemed to feel alone quite a bit lately. Ever since he and Fred had opened the store life had been wonderful. Before he had lived a life of poverty and second –hand everything. Now he and his Twin were amassing a small fortune for themselves. But as the business grew, they had inevitably had to branch out. Now they had a lovely mail-order cantaloupe, or whatever it was Hermione called it. She had set it up for them in hopes of reaching a wider clientele. So far, it had been working. Another brilliant idea from an incredibly brilliant girl.

As his thoughts turned to Hermione, he realized he had seen neither hide nor hair of her since two nights ago. But then again, now that he thought hard, he hadn't really seen anyone since that night. Harry, Ron, and Remus had all taken off early the next morning to see how she was and had never returned. 'Huh,' thought George. It didn't seem horribly strange to him. After all, they all had the tendency to disappear anyway.

A kid of about thirteen was approaching his counter and he slowly stood to help. The kid was tall for his age and oddly enough, had a head full of red hair. There was also a twinkle in his eye that George recognized all to well. Oh yes, he had seen such a look of mischief before, but where? "This all kid?" George asked as he grabbed the pile of Dung Bombs before him.

"Aye," the kid replied. Even as George put the Bombs in a sack, he could not get that familiar look in the boy's eyes out of his mind. Where had he seen that before? Where had h-

Suddenly George stood up very straight, a look of confusion and question spreading over his handsome face. "Wait," he said to know one and began to look around the store. "Where is Fred?"

His question was met with a blank expression on the child's face and the continued noise of those shopping for mischief in his store.

* * *

Fred, as it happened, was in a terribly important and secret meeting in a terribly important and secret place. So of course he was paying the utmost attention. Seriously, one's thoughts couldn't waver at a time such as this. He had to be very alert and very aware. So naturally he sat in his chair drifting off towards the land of nod.

"FRED!" came a shout like a screech owl next to his ear. He immediately sat up, his eyes flying open. He began to wonder why Hermione's stern looking face was swinging wildly out of his view, when suddenly his head met the carpet, his feet flying above him as his chair toppled over.

"Jumpin Jupiter, Hermione! Why you have to yell like that?" he shouted from his rather precarious position on the floor. His hand was rubbing the back of his head, his face scrunched in pain and annoyance. "I was this close," and he indicated just how close with his fingers, "this close to stealing the cookie from the cookie jar! But NO you had to just dash a man's dreams." From somewhere off to the left he thought he heard the sound of laughter, but it was quickly covered with a loud coughing and clearing of throats.

"Get up will you," Harry said, looking down at him from his seat next to Fred's fallen chair. A hint of a smile played across the Boy-Who-Lived's mouth before disappearing under Hermione's hard gaze.

Fred, feeling not the least bit embarrassed and a little playful, elegantly stuck his tongue out at her before standing and righting his chair. He towered over Hermione's petite figure and he smiled down at her. "You're mad at me because you are jealous that my dreams aren't full of naked Hermione's running around and-"

"Fred Tiberius Weasley, if you finish that sentence," she let the threat hang in the air.

"How the hell does she know everyone's middle name?" came Draco's quiet voice from the opposite end of the table.

"Ahem. Though I do love the entertainment, if we could get back to the matter at hand," Dumbledore's quiet but powerful voice echoed down from the head of the abnormally large mahogany table.

"Righto Old Chap. Sorry for the nap," Fred said cheerily, sitting his tall frame back into his seat next to Hermione and Harry. He could feel Snape's glare and barely make out the horrible man's whisper of 'Children' before tuning them all out and trying once more to concentrate on Dumbledore.

"Oh don't be bothered, Mr. Weasley. Sometimes the body must rest! I myself find napping at the most inappropriate times," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Now if we could continue."

Fred sat back and allowed his former Headmaster's words to wash over him. In all honesty he had not been dreaming of cookies, he hadn't been dreaming at all. He had been thinking; something he had been doing a great deal of recently. So many revelations and secrets had emerged in the course of a few days that Fred felt his head spin every time he attempted to sort it all out. So many important plans to make, important people to kill, so many important things to do. But important was a word Fred did not throw around lightly.

Important. One word. One simple word, but a word with weight. When a person breaks down what is important to him or her, most get a long list. Fred's was short. Important was a word that to him defined family. And his family was the only important thing in his tiny, twisted life. When he had been young, his family had consisted of his actual family. His folks, his brothers, his sister.

As he had grown he had relearned the definition of family and was forced to add a few members to his list. Harry had been the first new addition, then Hermione. Both to him were family, both were important. Older still, and a few more names, Remus, Neville, and Sirius, though his heart ached to think of the name, let alone of the man. So as he reached adulthood, his family had grown, and he had learned that he would gladly die for each and every one of them.

But today he was not thinking of his family. Today he was thinking of only one person. The one person who exceeded the word 'Important.' Today he allowed his mind to think about George. It seemed as though the last he had seen of his brother was a million years ago instead of simply a few days. But even so, Fred yearned for the comfort and familiarity his brother brought.

They were the mirror image of each other, yet inside very different. He had very rarely kept secrets from his brother, but their differences had prevented him from telling his twin about the recent happenings in Hermione's flat and in Malfoy Manor. No, George would not be told about this. Fred kept telling himself it was to keep his brother safe, that is why he didn't tell George, but the truth kept creeping back in.

As he had told Hermione, he had a knack for seeing things. He saw where all this was heading. He had a good idea he might not survive it. He refused to cause his twin any more pain then the next few days would probably bring. He refused to let the most important thing in his life talk him out of his duty. George was the only one who would have a chance in making him stay.

Letting out a deep sigh, Fred knew if he had any hope of doing what would be required, he had to stay as far away from his brother as possible. Accidentally, his gaze fell upon Draco Malfoy and the sad smile on his face fell as he watched the man sitting across the table. Fred saw things. What he saw for Draco made him want to cry.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

"**I am standing on the edge of reason. Do I dare cross it?" -unknown**


	15. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

**Title: Boulevard of Broken Dreams**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Summary: Draco takes a walk**

* * *

He walked along the crowded street feeling more alone than he had ever really allowed himself to feel. Surrounded on all sides by life and movement, he felt as though he had come to a standstill. His future lay before him as though he were at a crossroads. Choices. Choices he didn't wish to think about haunted his every waking moment.

Draco shook his head slowly, trying unsuccessfully to once again push these thoughts from his mind. His hair fell in front of his stormy eyes and he allowed himself to come to a stop. It was a rather beautiful day and the mass of muggles around him was a testament to such a fact. Families, couples, friends milled around him in an attempt to live their lives the best they knew how.

What they didn't know was that a war, a long and terrible war, was finally coming to a head underneath the surface of all this living. Draco watched them all without feeling a thing.

He had fled the mansion earlier for the simple reason of wanting to be alone. He had been alone for so long, that being forced to live with others caused him to ache for loneliness. Draco allowed a low chuckle to escape his mouth, his wry smile never reaching his sad eyes. Why kid anyone, let alone himself? He had fled the mansion not just to be alone, but also to think.

Dumbledore's untimely arrival had preceded a very important top-secret meeting that revealed nothing of great importance. Everything that had been said at the three hundred year old dining room table had already been said before. Draco had felt as though Dumbledore's arrival should have signaled some sort of great revelation, or some great plan that would be put immediately into action. But that was not to be the case.

They had all sat in their chairs and listened to Dumbledore explain the situation. Draco was being hunted. Hermione was being hunted. Harry Potter, the-boy-who-wouldn't-fuckin-die-or-leave-him-in-peace, was also still being hunted. He had sat patiently and almost nervously as the old bat had explained the reason behind the Dark Lord's hunt, half afraid and half yearning for him to reveal all. But of course, Dumbledore had simply explained that Voldermort wished to seek revenge for the loss of his number one man all those years ago. He had chosen to seek out the only living Malfoy male as replacement.

That explanation had seemed to suit everyone, though Snape and Remus had each taken their turns looking at him with either contempt or worry. "Fuck um," Draco whispered underneath his breath. No one was willing to make a move, not yet. He looked up and squinted against the brightness of the sun. A rare day to be sure. It mostly just rained in England, and in the winter, one would be lucky to ever see the sun. But today, the day he was a murdering storm inside, today happened to be the most beautiful day he had experienced in a long while.

He decided he had drawn enough attention standing in the middle of the sidewalk muttering to himself. He glanced around quickly to get his bearings and decided to cross the street. He knew this wee town well and it was one of the few places left in this world that comforted him. Small enough to go unnoticed by the masses, yet not too small that his presence would cause any great fuss.

As he crossed the street his mind once again wandered to the mansion. After the meeting Dumbledore had expressed his wish to speak to him privately before departing. Draco had remained seated, his head twisted and following the progress of Hermione as she slowly left the room. Her own head had turned briefly, her eyes meeting his, before her body disappeared over the threshold.

Dumbledore's words were no more than a jumbled mess inside his head, but Draco knew what had been said, or rather presented to him. That was what had caused him to apparate to this village in the back of beyond. Choices. There had been too many choices of late and he couldn't see the end coming anytime soon. Well, at least not an end that he would enjoy.

He had always known it would only be a matter of time before they came for him, he had just never cared. But now he had walked back into her life, and she, unknowingly, made him care. He had had no problem with turning himself over to them; no problem fighting his way through them till he died; no problem until now. He glanced up again at the sun and when his eyes fell back to earth they rested on an old couple sitting together on a bench.

Silence. Everything faded to silence around him as he watched them. Now he wanted that. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to fight anymore. He didn't want to run. He wanted her, but not just now. No, he wanted what the couple in front of him had; a lifetime.

Tearing his gaze away, Draco felt the adrenaline rush through his body. He allowed it to take over and before he knew what he was doing, he was running through the crowds as fast as his legs could carry him. He kept running, pushing himself harder and faster as though any lost second would mean the end of him. He knew he was going to die; when Voldermort chose to mark you there was nothing else you could do but die. But he would be damned if he would die without getting what he wanted first. He was a Malfoy after all, and Malfoy's always get what they want.

He had reached the outskirts of town but he didn't stop. He kept pushing his legs until he had reached the forest at the edge of town and disappeared between the tall, dark trees. He kept running, letting the adrenaline flowing control him. His body suddenly stopped and before he could take a breath he apparated. In the next second he was running again, running through the halls of the house where he had grown up, if you could call what he had done, growing up.

He felt his heart beating faster than it ever had, threatening to explode through his chest, but he didn't care. He ran faster ignoring anything and anyone who might be in his path. He was pretty sure a vase had crashed back when he was on the first floor, and that may have been Snape shouting at him back on the second. But he kept running, running until a dark green door suddenly loomed in front of him. Without hesitating he burst through and barely heard the startled scream before he slowed.

He allowed his momentum to carry him forward. His arms came up and pushed her back gently and roughly all at once until she was pushed against the wall her body pressed into every inch of his. Her eyes were big and stared at him, not in worry, but in question. His hands still lay at her hips, his fingers digging into the exposed flesh. Her scent, natural and feminine drove him over the edge.

"Drac-" she began.

"I want you," he growled before crashing his lips down onto hers. She gasped in surprise and Draco took the opportunity and pushed his tongue lustfully into her open mouth. He groaned in pleasure as hers met his in battle. Suddenly her hands were clawing at his hair, attempting to pull him closer. His hands slid up her shirt to grasp at her bare, soft back. He felt his head spinning as her lips met his every attack, her tongue dancing dangerously with his, her hands sliding in and out of his hair. He ground his body deeper into hers and felt her moan against his mouth. She tasted so sweet; so utterly delicious. Her soft lips were bruising his, but his body begged for more. She was driving him crazy. His heart felt as though it would burst. He couldn't breath. He couldn't breath. He couldn't…

He tore his mouth away from hers, his forehead resting against hers as he panted, his lungs screaming for oxygen. His mind still intoxicated with the taste of her and the feel of her hard-soft body beneath his, he leaned forward and placed a soft, almost chaste kiss against her hot mouth. "Merlin, I love you, Hermione," he whispered against her lips. She gasped.

Suddenly Draco's eyes shot open. He saw her own eyes staring back at him in surprise and wonder. His words came crashing back into his now sober brain and his entire body stiffened.

"What?" Hermione whispered, her hands frozen in his hair.

Draco found himself once again out of breath, his heart beating horribly fast. He pushed his body away from hers. "Bloody hell," he murmured before he was once again running. And this time he wasn't running towards something he wanted. No, this time he was running away from the one thing he treasured. This time he was running towards his fate. He knew now he would be unable to continue losing himself in her, unable to ignore the events around him. He knew now as long as her life was still in danger, he had to finish this. He would deal with the fallout of this encounter later. Now he was decided. Now, he would risk his lifetime to give her hers.

Growling to himself and allowing his eyes to grow darker than ever he continued running until he found his prey. He could walk this road alone, or he could bring others with him towards his doom. As the quiet man looked up from inside the room, Draco made up his mind. "Remus, I need your help."

Upstairs Hermione Granger had not moved.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**"I walk a lonely road  
The only one I that have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But its home to me and I walk alone**

**I walk this empty street  
****On the Boulevard of broken dreams  
****Where the city sleeps  
****And I'm the only one and I walk alone**

**I walk alone  
****I walk alone  
****I walk alone  
****I walk a…**

**My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
****My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
****Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
****Till then I walk alone**

**Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh  
****Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah**

**I'm walking down the line  
****That divides me somewhere in my mind  
****On the border line of the edge  
****And where I walk alone  
**

**Read between the lines of what's  
****Fucked up and every things all right  
****Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive  
****And I walk alone**

**I walk alone  
****I walk alone  
****I walk alone  
****I walk a…**

**My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
****My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
****Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
****Till then I walk alone**

**Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh  
****Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah**

**I walk alone  
****I walk a…**

**I walk this empty street  
****On the Boulevard of broken dreams  
****Where the city sleeps  
****And I'm the only one and I walk a…**

**My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
****My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
****Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
****Till then I'll walk alone!"**

**-Green Day**


	16. They Who Save The Day

**Title: They Who Save The Day**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Summary: Harry alone and contemplating**

* * *

Harry sat quietly alone at the Weasley's kitchen table. The quiet of the house around him a testament to the strange occurrences happening in his world. This house, this home, usually bursting to the brims with noise and love, was now very empty and very quiet. Harry sat alone in the one place he had always felt completely loved.

He had arrived here earlier, having fled Malfoy Manor, in hopes of trying to understand how his world was slowly spinning out of his control. He had secretly hoped that Mr. Weasley would be at the kitchen table reading the _Daily Prophet_; Mrs. Weasley, cooking and knitting all at once; the children causing havoc around the house. Harry had yearned for the normality of reality. Only, reality was changing. And with it, so must he.

Harry had always been sure of a few things. The Dursley's, though the only blood relatives he had left, would never accept him. If there was trouble of any kind, the Weasley Twins were probably the cause of it. If he had a question, Hermione has the answer. These things had always been absolute.

He had also always been sure of the outcome of his life. Voldermort would die. Whether by his hand or someone else's, Harry knew the Dark Lord would not win. Whether Harry himself survived, well this was a bit foggy. No matter what, Ron would always be by his side. Hogwarts and the Burrow would always be his homes. He and Snape would never get along. And lastly, the final thing Harry was sure of was his love for Hermione. He had always assumed that, with time, he and Hermione would find their way into each other's arms.

Two days ago his reality, his absolutes, his future, had come crashing down around him in pieces and he still had not had a moment to try and pick them all up. Two days ago Draco Malfoy had waltzed back into their lives. Two days ago he watched the woman he loved fall into Malfoy's arms, his enemy's arms, instead of his. Two days ago he realized he was sure of nothing.

He sat now at the table where he had sat a thousand times before, feeling as though he were a stranger. It was approaching sunset and instead of everyone returning home to sit for dinner, Harry was alone.

Two days ago, he had fled Hermione's flat for the comfort of this table. Only then, things had been very different.

Mrs. Weasley had been in the kitchen checking on the food while Mr. Weasley had sat before the fire quietly pretending to read as he dozed off. A series of loud explosions could be heard from Fred and George's room, though Harry knew it could only be George who was present. He had seen Fred leaning casually against Hermione's wall eating sweets, before he had disapparated here. Harry remembered having heard Ginny's sweet voice talking to her mother. Ron had bee away delivering his message to Dumbledore.

For a moment, Harry had felt as though he had been having a bad dream. He had finally awoken and everything would be back to normal. Unfortunately he had been mistaken. When Harry had relayed his news to the Weasleys, he hadn't realized how much his reality would be disrupted.

He sat alone now, two days later, in an eerily quiet home. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had sped off to Grimmauld Place upon hearing of Malfoy's rebirth, and were most likely still there. George, Harry assumed, was probably watching over the store as it looked like Fred would not be returning any time soon. Ron…well Harry hadn't actually seen Ron since he had left to deliver the message to Dumbledore. Harry assumed Ron would have returned here, but from the looks of things, he hadn't. As for Ginny…

A squeak of the stairs behind him caused Harry to reach for his wand and turn quickly to face the invader.

"Honestly, Harry! You boys are so jumpy these days! Voldemort need not worry. You'll die of fright long before he can reach you," Ginny Weasley said while smiling softly. She walked around Harry and sat at the opposite end of the table, her legs folding up into themselves.

"Merlin, Ginny! I thought the house was empty," Harry said while letting out a sigh and sitting back down in his seat. He placed his wand on the table next to him.

Ginny let out a tiny snort and threw her red hair up into a ponytail before reaching for a piece of bread from the basket on the table. "Sorry to disappoint. I can leave you alone if you feel I am intruding in my own home," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Sorry, Ginny. Not what I meant," Harry responded tiredly.

"Rough day?" she asked quietly, not bothering to look up from her bread.

"Rough life," Harry answered. He saw a small, sad smile cross her face as she played with her roll.

"Hmmm, things not going well at all then, I take it," she said, bringing her eyes up to meet his. She cocked her head to the side slightly, wrinkling her brow as she thought. Harry reveled in the little lines that were creasing her forehead. "Mister Malfoy even nicer than he used to be?" she asked, a devilish smile playing on her lips.

Harry growled slightly at the mention of Malfoy's name. He gritted his teeth and cracked his neck before answering. "Actually that is the problem, my little Weasley. He is being much to nice for my liking," Harry responded, his eyes growing darker as the image of Hermione lying on her bed with Draco Malfoy over her; both locked in each other's embrace.

"Yes well Malfoy always had that hidden layer," she said quietly and looked back at the bread in her hands. "Some things are not in our control, Harry," she said quietly.

Harry wondered briefly if she had some idea of the events that had transpired, but shook his head. He had to stop thinking about it all. He allowed his gaze to fall onto Ginny and noticed for the first time what she was wearing. She had obviously been sleeping. She was clad only in a tiny black camisole and a pair of red boxers, which, he noticed, were his. For some reason, the thought of her sleeping in his clothes brought a tingle to Harry's spine. He noticed her fair skin and vibrant hair.

"You are stunning," he said breathily before he could catch himself.

Ginny Weasley looked back up at him and smiled toothily, a light laugh escaping her lips. "I'm not meant for you, Harry," she said while shaking her head. "And you, unfortunately, you are not meant for me." Ginny smiled sadly, her hand reaching out to gently caress his.

He looked at their entwined hands and then brought his gaze up to her eyes. "You've met someone, haven't you?" he asked softly.

He didn't need to hear her answer. The starry look that suddenly appeared in her eyes was enough.

"Didn't think I would wait around for you forever did you, Harry?" she asked playfully, though her voice was quiet.

"You never said anything," he said, squeezing her hand lightly.

She let out a small laugh and threw her head back. "With six older brothers would you bring a boy home?"

Now, Harry allowed himself a smile. "I doubt very much I would ever bring home a boy!"

"You doubt…so the possibility exists?" Ginny asked playfully.

"Ginny!" Harry shouted, throwing her hand away from him.

"Just kidding dear," she said. They allowed their laughter to die down naturally before sitting in comfortable silence.

"Are you happy?" Harry finally asked softly.

She smiled before replying. "Yes. Yes, Harry, I am.

He smiled at her before sighing. "Must be nice," he said almost bitterly as his thoughts from earlier returned.

"Oh, Harry," Ginny whispered softly.

She stood and walked around the table, stopping in front of him. She reached out a hand and gently caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the softness of her fingertips.

She leaned forward slightly and placed a soft, chaste kiss upon his lips. She pulled back, but Harry brought his hand to the back of her head and gently pushed her forwards, their lips meeting once again.

Ginny allowed him to kiss her softly, her own lips moving slowly with his. She figured she could give him this moment. After all, she had not been able to get him a birthday present as she had been away on business for most of the summer. The fact that she was indulging in her childhood fantasy most certainly had nothing to do with it.

Harry ran the tip of his tongue across her lower lip. She parted her lips slightly, allowed her own tongue to caress his once, ran the tip over his own lips and then pulled away.

She opened her eyes and watched him for a few moments. His eyes were still closed, his hand still on the back of her head. She smiled sadly and traced a line from his scar down to his lips with her finger.

"I'm not her, Harry," she whispered. "And I think…I think she isn't meant for you either."

Harry nodded his head slightly and opened his eyes. "I know," he said. There was no need for him to ask whom Ginny meant, or how she knew what Harry had been keeping locked in his mind.

He returned her sad smile and said, "Thank you."

"I'd say anytime, but I wouldn't want you getting the wrong impression," Ginny said smiling. She pulled away and turned, heading for the kitchen door.

"He's a very lucky man, Ginny, whoever he is," Harry called after her.

She paused, and turned her head towards him slightly. "I know," she said before walking out.

Harry took a deep breath and stood up. It was past time for him to head back. It was past time for a lot of things.

* * *

"What the hell was that all about?" came a cold voice from behind her. Ginny stopped on the stairs and turned to face her brother.

"Leave it, Bill," she said quietly, not feeling like getting into details about what he had obviously just witnessed. His face was set in a frown, his eyes darting back and forth from the kitchen to his little sister. "Leave it be," she whispered again.

He must have sensed the fatigue and sadness within his sister for he simply nodded his head once before leaning against the wall behind him and crossing his arms in front of him. "So, Ginerva Weasley, who is this so called 'man' you are afraid to bring home?" Bill said quite seriously, though his eyes began to shine with mischief.

Ginny decided that trying to avoid the topic of her boyfriend with her brother was a far easier thing to do than trying to avoid the fact that he had seen her and Harry in a very private and personal moment.

"Damnit, Bill," she sighed before running up to her room, only to be followed laughing older brother.

* * *

Harry had barely apparated into the living room in Malfoy Manor when all of a sudden he was met with the sight of a very angry looking Hermione Granger. She stood on the opposite end of the room staring daggers at Snape, who for his part, stood with his back flat against the bookcase across from Hermione.

"Did I interrupt something?" Harry asked.

Hermione whipped her head towards Harry, her eyes blazing with fire. "They're gone," she said, her voice colder than the snow falling outside. Snape snorted from his corner.

Harry allowed his confusion to show on his face. "They're gone, Harry. Draco, Remus and Fred. Left. Vanished. Disappeared," she said.

"What? Where?" Harry asked, still confused and dazed.

"Ah, now that, Mister Potter, is the question of the moment," Snape said, his eyes flicking towards Hermione in a malicious, yet satisfied way.

"Shut up, Severus," Hermione snapped at him. "He knows, Harry. He knows where they have gone, but he is toying with me, making me beg and plead before he will graciously reveal all," she spat.

"Well really, Miss Granger, I would have thought with a brain as wonderfully praised as your, it should be obvious," Snape said, his voice dripping with false feeling. Hermione glared death at him, and Harry's former Potions Professor smiled a smile that most definitely reached his eyes. Harry felt a chill run down his spine at the sight.

"Where did they go, Snape?" Harry asked firmly.

"Why, to find Voldemort, Mister Potter," Snape said, and for the first time, his tone was serious, his eyes cold and twinkling with something akin to concern and fear. "They've gone to save the day."

* * *

**Love, Ally**

"**Doomsday is near; die all, die merrily." –Henry IV Part 1 (foreshadowing much?)**


	17. Do You Hear My Heart Beating?

**Title: Do You Hear My Heart Beating?**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Summary: Fred goes to war.**

**A/N: This was a very difficult chapter to write, as you will all see, but it is very dear to me. I hope you like it, in as much as anyone can like this chapter.**

* * *

His lean frame was pressed tightly against the cold, stone wall behind him. He tilted his head slightly to the side, trying to get a view of the dank hallway behind him. Nothing. "Fuck," he swore under his breath. He heard a crash in the distance and said, "Double fuck."

Fred Weasley was the joke king. He and his brother were the laughs. But he was also one of Dumbledore's best agents. No one knew and that was the point. So here he was, facing a fate he knew had been coming. He knew he was dead already. At the end of this run he would be struck down; he had seen it. But he had a mission to do, and before he gave into the darkness, he would damn well complete it. He may have skived off of many things in his life, but there was still honour in him, and he would die honourably. He would die by their hands, yes, but on his terms.

He knew when he had walked in on Malfoy and Remus earlier that evening that they would be leading him to his doom, and he had accepted with a smile and a laugh. He took a deep breath and turned his body around before sprinting down the hallway and throwing himself into the wooden door before him. As he burst through, he came to a halt and for a moment the sight before him took him aback. A full-blown battle was taking place. At some point the others had shown up. "Fuck," Fred whispered. How did it come to this?

_Flashback_

Fred walked casually down the massive hall munching on the lemon drops Dumbledore had cheerily given him and trying to picture a five-year old Draco Malfoy growing up in such a place. For all its grandeur and richness, Fred realized he would never trade his childhood in the Burrow if it meant living here. It was big all right, too big. You felt like a stranger within the Manor's cold, never-ending halls.

It was even emptier now than it had been a few hours earlier. After the meeting with Dumbledore, both Malfoy and Harry had fled. Where to, Fred hadn't the foggiest. Hermione had disappeared to her room and Snape and Lupin had walked in opposite directions.

The barren stone hallways made him yearn for escape also. He was very tempted to go back to the Burrow. His heart ached to see George. It had been too long. Ginny had been away so much lately with her job that Fred felt as though his baby sister was a stranger. Bill and Charlie had always been away as he was growing up, whether at school or work, yet he missed their strong and calming presence. Percy, well Percy was Percy, but he was still blood. As for Ron, Fred wished he hadn't stayed away after leaving to deliver his message to Dumbledore two days ago. Next too George, Fred was closest to Ron and realized having his younger brother here to pick on would have been a great distraction, but he could see why Ron would stay away. A person could only handle so much of Malfoy, Harry, Remus, and Snape at the same time.

Fred shook his head as he rounded yet another corner and froze as he heard hushed voices from within the room to his left.

"Draco, it's suicide, you know this," Lupin's calm, soothing voice said from beyond the doorway.

"Yeah well at the moment I am feelin' suicidal," Malfoy's voice countered. He sounded weary and resigned; resigned to a fate he was trying to avoid. Fred could relate. For too long he had been dreading the arrival of Mister Malfoy. Malfoy's rebirth would mean Fred's death. He would have to be crazy to be looking forward to that.

"You may want to court death this nigh,t Draco, but what makes you think I wish to?" Lupin asked, and from the noise in the room it seemed as though he was moving around, possibly pacing.

"Men like you and me always court Death, Remus. To men like us she is something we will always dance around before giving in," Draco said solemnly. For a moment all was silent and Fred leaned forward a bit. He heard Malfoy sigh before continuing. "What do we have to lose?" Malfoy asked.

"Too much," Lupin said softly. A silence heavier than before descended and Fred could imagine both men were making a list in their minds of what was important in their lives. Fred imagined both lists would be very short.

"We have more to lose if we sit and do nothing. We don't have a choice, Remus. We can sit and wait for them to find us, killing us all in our beds or we can bring the fight to them. Since when do we stand back and let others rule our lives?" Malfoy said, his voice rising slightly in volume yet remaining even.

"Dumbledore would not approve," Lupin said.

"Dumbledore! Ha, the old man has been letting Potter fight battles on his own since the guy was eleven. I think Dumbledore sanity and rationale is highly questionable," Draco said, his voicing returning to its cold, normal tone.

"Don't speak so of Dumbledore, Draco. He is far saner than any of us give him credit for. What he does is with the world's best interest in mind, never forget that," Lupin said. A short pause followed before Lupin continued. "But I do agree with you on one thing Draco. I will not sit back knowing what we know. If we don't do something now, too many others will get involved and too many others will die. There is precious little left in this world that I treasure," Lupin said and breathed out heavily. "But I refuse to sit back and let it be taken from me. I did that once, and I will not do it again," he said, his voice powerful with memory and vengeance.

Fred did not have to be Hermione Granger to work out what Lupin was referring too. Fred had often seen a look in the werewolf's eyes when he watched Harry. Fred knew that Lupin felt responsible, in some part, for James and Lily's deaths. They had thought he had been the spy and had trusted Pettigrew instead. Fred shook his head in pity. What that must be like, to live on after all others you have loved have died? What must it be like to have a reminder of the days gone by reflected back to you in the form of your best friend's son? What must it be like to be alone in a world that hated what you were?

Fred had always held the highest respect for Lupin. But as he sat listening to Malfoy and his former Professor talk, Fred Weasley realized he wouldn't mind adding Remus to his short list of important people.

Fred was tempted to walk on, or perhaps make his presence known to them, but decided he wished to here more of what they were planning. He wasn't stupid, he knew they were talking about taking on Death Eater's, if not Voldemort himself, but he had to be sure. Fred didn't like not knowing.

"I won't sit back and let Voldemort destroy her Remus. I can't," Draco's voice suddenly pierced the silence that had fallen. For a moment, Fred was taken aback by the heavy emotion evident in Malfoy's voice.

"He wants you dead also, Draco. Are you so quick to give up your life?" Lupin asked.

"I did it once before," Draco replied coldly.

"Ah yes, silly of me to forget," Lupin said softly.

"Wish I could," Draco whispered so low that Fred strained to hear.

"Isn't it enough that she did?" Lupin asked carefully. Fred was becoming slightly confused. The she they were talking about had to be Hermione, but as for the rest, the meaning was lost to him.

"Well then. If we are decided I don't think we should wait. Dumbledore practically handed me their location on a platter. I think he realized I would take the bait," Draco said in a rush. Fred began to sense a steel determination from the next room tinged only slightly with fear.

"I think we are not enough for this mission, Draco," Lupin said slowly.

"Bringing Potter would ruin it, and I will not have Snape revealing himself just to help us," Draco stated firmly.

"I had someone else in mind. Someone a bit subtler. Perhaps we should consider asking Fred to join our crusade," Lupin said. Fred's breathing stopped at the sound of his name. He knew. Right then and there he knew it had finally come, his doom. Everything that had been happening up to now was leading to only one possible end. Fred knew he could not say no. Even though he new he would not make it out of the battle they were proposing, he would not be labeled a coward. He would not sit back at let someone else fight for the lives of those he loved.

"Fred Weasley and subtle in the same sentence? Are you mad, Remus?" Draco asked.

"Perhaps a bit, but a lot has changed since you've been gone, Draco. There is more to Fred then I think anyone really knows," Lupin answered. Had the conversation been a different one, in a different place, Fred would have glowed with pride. Unfortunately, times were as they were.

"Do you think he would be willing to put his life on the line? He has a lot more to lose than we do," Draco said.

Fred decided it was past time for him to make an appearance. He did so love an entrance. He pushed the door aside and strolled casually into the room saying, "Well the only way to know for sure would be to ask him, don't you think?"

The looks on their faces were enough to make Fred smile widely. "So I hear you need a man of my many talents," he said rubbing his hands together. Lupin stood frozen in his spot by the window. His arms hung limply next to his tattered robes. Malfoy was very still in his place against the wall on the opposite room, his arms crossed in front of him. Both men looked as if they had been caught stealing their mother's freshly baked pie.

"How long were you standing out there," Malfoy asked quickly.

"Long enough to hear what needed hearing," Fred said, his voice even and strong, all sign of laughter gone. His eyes leveled with Malfoy's and for the first time the two really looked at each other. The silver haired demon nodded his head slightly and turned back to Lupin.

Lupin took a step forward and narrowed his eyes slightly. "Fred, I wouldn't normally ask you to do this, but we need help if we have any chance of succeeding. Even so, we could all lose our lives if this goes wrong," Lupin said, his eyes shining with intensity.

Fred leaned casually against the wall next to him. "I'd be a fool to let the two of you waltz off to be heroes, or more likely martyrs, and not get a piece of the action. Whatever it is you two are planning, and I have some thoughts on what that might be, you can be sure I will be there," Fred said, his voice containing no mirth, his eyes blazing with his sincerity. "Besides, we're all meant to die sometime right? Why not go down in a blaze of glory huh?" Fred said somewhat lightly.

"Just as long as you know the risks," Malfoy said.

"Fuck the risks, Malfoy. Why should the two of you be the only ones who get to fight for the ones you love?" Fred asked, his eyes boring holes into Malfoy's. "Voldemort is after you Ferret, but for some reason he has decided to add our lovely Miss Granger to the mix. You'd rather die then see her get hurt again. You risked your life before and it held them off for a little while. Now they want blood. You're not the only one who loves her Malfoy. I'd rather die then see her cry again," Fred said, finally drawing a deep breath, his eyes daring Malfoy to challenge him.

Lupin stood to the side, quietly watching the two. After a moment of deadly silence Malfoy pushed away from the wall and walked towards Fred. Slowly he stuck out his hand. Fred looked once more into Draco's Malfoy's icy eyes before grasping his hand firmly.

"Well then, shall we enlighten Mister Weasley here on our situation?" Lupin spoke up as he walked forward towards them.

"Yes I think that would be for the best. But first, I want to know everything Malfoy, the whole bloody truth. I will march to my death next to you knowing why. I want to hear it from your mouth, everything about the last five years. After that, we'll go kill the bastard who has made our life a living hell. They may even write a book about us," Fred said, a smile that did not reach his eyes appearing on his face.

And just like that, Malfoy started talking, with occasional input from Lupin. Fred's face fell as all was revealed to him. He had had a general idea of what had transpired of course, but parts of the story still shocked him. It also had the effect of cementing him to their cause. Fred would gladly die fighting beside a Malfoy and a werewolf, for he knew no other option lay before him. But first, they needed to find Snape and wring some information out of his bony body.

_End Flashback_

And so they had waltzed into the fortress of evil knowing they might possibly never walk back out. They had separated and each gone a prearranged way. The plan had been to meet up in the central chamber room where, Dumbledore had informed Malfoy, Voldemort would be waiting. But as Fred burst through into the room it was apparent that something must have gone wrong. There were too many people who shouldn't be here, fighting for their lives.

A cold fear gripped his insides. He had not seen this. There were too many risks now, even more than there had been earlier. A great flash of yellow light lit up the room. Everything slowed down. The people, the spells, the action, time itself. Fred watched as the people he loved battled around him. He heard Hermione call out for Malfoy, and heard Malfoy scream a warning to Hermione. He watched Harry stumble under the force of an unknown spell and watched as Snape ran to stand over The-Boy-Who-Lived and block his body from any more damage. He saw Remus take down Death Eater after Death Eater, never pausing in his path of destruction.

An odd ache began to grow within Fred's chest as he watched a figure materialize in the doorway across from him. Fred stood frozen for a moment as he watched the person stumble into the room and fall, blood pooling from the silver dagger, a silver dagger Fred knew too well, protruding from their chest onto the floor. Their bound hands twisted oddly behind them.

Fred let out a bellow that echoed straight down to the caverns of Hell itself. Suddenly, everything sped up. Fred ran towards the fallen figure, not caring if he pushed aside friend or foe. His one thought was to reach the body. His one goal was to take that filthy dagger and throw it far, far away.

As he reached the body he fell to his knees and turned the head to look at him. Cold, dead eyes stared up into his. Fred felt the need to vomit. Suddenly silence covered the room and Fred could hear the sound of people running away. Whether it was the good guys or the bad guys fleeing, he didn't care. Hermione's scream that pierced the silence a moment later informed him that his friends remained but had finally witnessed what lay in front of him.

Fred gathered the body up in his arms, but remained staring at the lifeless eyes. He couldn't look away. He couldn't stop the tears pouring down his face. He couldn't stop the bellows that shook his body and the tiles on the floor. He couldn't stop the blood flowing out of his brother's body. He couldn't remember if he'd said good-bye.

He reached out and tore the offending dagger from the body and threw it across the room. How and why it came to be here were questions he would think about later; now was not the time.

As Fred sat clutching the body to him, his mind cleared and he had one thought only. How, in all that is holy, was he going to tell his mother that Ron had died? How was he ever going to tell his mother? A rage as hot as the hottest fire began to burn inside Fred Weasley. It was supposed to be his body lying dead on the floor, not Ron's. He had seen it as clear as day. How could he have been so wrong? He felt his heart threatening to break through his chest. The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced. "Ron," he whispered, reaching down and kissing his brother's forehead, before he gently and lovingly raised his bloody hands up and closed his brother's eyes forever.

* * *

**A/N: Unfortunately it was time for a character to die. For any of you who were wondering where Ron had indeed got to, well there it is, sorta.  
**

**Love, Ally**

**"Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,  
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.  
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,  
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you." –the incomparable Bob Dylan**


	18. As If You Have A Choice

**Title: As If You Have A Choice**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: PG-13**

**Summary: Of battles, loss, and running from what you love.**

* * *

Draco had burst into the main chamber room expecting to find anything but what he saw. He watched as Hermione turned towards him, her wand drawn. Her mouth opened in surprise when her eyes met his.

"Draco?" she asked.

"Unless you know someone else this good-looking," he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm and haste. "What the bloody hell are you doing here. Granger?" he said angrily as he walked towards her. A sudden hand on his arm stopped him and for the first time he noticed others in the room.

"Now, now, Malfoy, I was just about to ask you the same thing," came Potter's horrible voice to his right. Draco's eyes widened in confusion as he looked first at Potter then at Snape.

"Fuck," Draco said aloud, though it was hardly directed at any in the room. He watched as his plans went shooting out the door. The trio's unexpected arrival was something he, Fred, and Remus had most certainly not planned for. Suddenly, something else hit Draco. Where the hell was Voldemort? Draco pushed Harry away and began to look around the room, his wand drawn. "Where is he?" he asked no one in particular.

Dumbledore had informed Draco that Voldemort would be here in this very place this very evening. Apparently a 'spy' had informed Dumbledore that a meeting was to be taking place here. Draco figured what a better way to reconnect with his old 'friend' then to pop in and say hello. Unfortunately it looked as though no such meeting was to be taking place. For if it was, the current attendees were well out of place.

Unless…suddenly something else clicked. Since when was the home of Voldemort so lightly guarded? He had made it to this room faster than anticipated and had only come across two other wizards. One he had made easy work of with a quick spell, the other had put up a bit more of a fight and the blood on Malfoy's knuckles was proof. Something wasn't right. This was all too easy. His eyes traveled back to the three other persons in the room. A light bulb went off in his head. Maybe it was supposed to be easy.

The Dark Lord had always been good at anticipating other's actions. Perhaps he had purposely planted the information of a meeting to draw him here tonight. As his eyes once again fell upon Hermione, Draco thought that perhaps the Dark Lord had hoped to draw more than just him out tonight.

His thoughts were interrupted by a door exploding somewhere off to his left. All four turned and had their wands pointed as the source of the explosion stumbled into the room.

Remus stood shocked at the sight before him, blood dripping down his face from several cuts. Draco ran over to the werewolf.

"I see plans have changed. If you were going to invite others to this party Draco, you should have warned me," Remus said, his voice cold as he noticed Snape, his eyes filled with worry as they passed over Hermione and Harry.

"Seems those aren't the only plans that have changed. Take a look around," Draco said, indicating the empty chamber room.

"Would someone please explain what the hell is going on?" Potter practically shouted

Draco watched as realization dawned on Remus Lupin's face. "Fuck," escaped the werewolf's lips before all hell broke loose.

The room was suddenly flooded with Death-Eater's, spells cast with only a second to dodge them. The four of them burst into action. Draco could only remember one other time that he had fought so hard for his life. The battle was rough and severely outnumbered. There were no less than forty Death-Eaters trying their best to kill or capture the five of them now in the room. As Draco dodged a fairly powerful spell, he wondered briefly where Fred had gotten too. His thoughts were ripped away from the Weasley as a spell brushed against his shoulder, causing a huge gash to open. Draco hissed at the pain and sent and equally powerful curse back at the wizard.

True, they were outnumbered, but then again, look whom Draco had on his side. The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die, Hermione-I-Know-Everything-Granger, a former professor of the Dark Arts, and Severus Snape, double agent extraordinaire. Needless to say, they held their own. Beads of sweat began to form upon his brow as the battle seemed to pick up a notch. From the corner of his eye he saw Fred come barreling into the room and freeze. He was probably in shock at the battle that was meeting his eyes. Draco heard Hermione scream his name from somewhere in the distance and he whipped his body around in time to duck a blazing orange spell coming his way. He saw Hermione start to run towards him but he frantically warned her off as three Death-Eaters made a charge for him.

Luckily for Draco, Hermione was not the docile type. A nicely aimed stunning spell brought down two while Draco's own dreamless sleep spell hit the other. He really should be trying to kill them all, as they were trying to kill them, but Draco could not bear to kill while Hermione was watching. Last time that had happened things had gone terribly wrong. So as long as he could get away with harming the Dark wizards as much as was possible, he would be content with that. But he would kill in an instant, if there were no other way.

And as suddenly as the attack had begun, it was over. Draco put his hands on his knees and took in great gulps of air as the remaining Death-Eaters fled the room, taking the bodies of their fallen comrades with them. He felt Hermione place her hand gently on his arm and he turned to look at her, noticing her blood-covered body. He felt the urge to run after those still alive and kill them for harming her. He was stopped however by Hermione's hand falling from his arm and her scream piercing the room. Only then did he become aware of someone else's screams. Screams that seemed to rip into his very soul. He turned his head and saw Fred Weasley cradling a very bloody and very dead Ron Weasley.

"Shit," he whispered. He stood back and watched as Remus and Snape ran to the body, apparently attempting to see if any spark of life remained. Fred refused to relinquish his hold on Ron, making their work awkward. It was, however, short lived as the pool of blood Fred sat in answered the question of whether the youngest Weasley son still lived. Harry seemed to walk in slow motion towards the body, dropping slowly to his knees, his hand reaching towards Ron and then drawing back quickly as though he had been burned. For the first time since Draco Malfoy had met Harry Potter, he pitied him. The look on his face was one of total failure and loss. He was white as a ghost and his eyes had a distant, glossy look to them. Harry Potter, it seemed, had left the building.

But it was the last member of this fucked up psuedo-family that Draco really cared about. He watched as Hermione walked up to Fred, her eyes not looking at Ron, but pleading with Fred to tell her something other than the obvious. Fred, for his part, didn't notice. His eyes were glued to his brother's lifeless ones, his tears flowing freely down his freckled face. Draco walked up behind the now still Hermione and gently put his arms around her. She didn't notice. Instead they all watched silently as Fred leaned over and placed a kiss upon Ron's forehead, before he tenderly closed his brother's eyes with his own bloody hands.

Draco felt, rather than heard the sob that escaped from Hermione's body. He tightened his grip only to have her rip free from it a minute later. She walked a few steps, bent and picked up an object, pocketed it and then walked over to Harry. Draco watched as she knelt beside the Boy Wonder and was enveloped in his embrace. He turned away, unable to handle the sight of the two crying in each other's embrace. He tried to rationalize that it was their best friend's body on the floor, but seeing Hermione in Harry's arms brought bile to his throat.

Snape was walking over to him and Draco suddenly realized that his former Professor's life had just taken a turn. It would be apparent now as to which side Snape was fighting for. The Death-Eaters who were currently on their way to their master would no doubt inform their lord of Severus's part in the battle.

"It seems as though your plans were foiled," Snape said in a muted voice, though still one laced with ice.

"As were yours," Draco said, with a hint of sympathy. Snape looked at him long and hard before nodding once.

"I always knew the day would come, Draco, it was only a matter of when. I could not stand back and allow them to kill any one of you," Snape paused, his hard voice softening ever so slightly, his head taking in the broken people before them. "I see however that I was not able to save everyone. Alas, we all know the risks of the life we choose to live. I must go Draco. This new development will not go over well. I must inform Dumbledore as soon as possible. Besides," and again he glanced to the body, "they will have more important things to do for the time being."

Draco was lost for words. The man before him looked almost defeated and old, and though there was still spite and loathing in his voice, his eyes seemed to have changed completely. Snape noticed Draco staring at him with a look of confusion on his face.

"I am found out, Draco. My life, like yours, is now one of running and hiding. The Dark Lord does not take betrayal lightly. It seems as though I am now bound to Dumbledore even more wholly than before. I made a decision long ago Draco, one I think you made also. I will not be a monster. I am a man, not a good one and one with few morals, but I am a man nonetheless. The body of a young innocent man lies on the floor not ten meters away from me and I feel nothing for him. No pain, no sadness; only envy. He has escaped a battle I have been fighting my entire life. There has been precious little that has ever made me smile, but I have lived on fighting for what I thought was right. I daresay Ronald Weasley knew the risks of his decisions in life, just as I know the risks of mine."

Snape took one last look at the group before him and turned his eyes back on Draco. "I cannot say I understand or agree with your reasons, Mr. Malfoy, but they are yours and yours alone. I have watched you grow under the fist of a ruthless, evil, hateful man, and yet I am proud to say you are nothing like him. We have a long way yet before we are free, if any of us will ever really be free from this. Good day, Mr. Malfoy," Snape said. He turned on his heal, his black cloak billowing out behind him as he walked over to Remus. The two bent their heads together for a moment and then Severus was gone, his exit followed by a popping noise that echoed through out the room.

What happened next was a bit of a blur for Draco. But somehow he managed to find himself a part of the solemn procession that followed Ronald Weasley's body to the home of his youth. They had wrapped his body in cloaks so as to hide his wounds. It was apparent he had been beaten badly, but for how long… They had untied his bound hands and Draco was not ashamed to admit he had almost gotten sick at the sight. Never had he seen wrists rubbed so raw. They had then apparated to the front lawn and now they stood outside of the Weasley's front door. No one moved. No one had any idea how to proceed.

Draco watched as Fred closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before walking up to his own front door and knocking. Draco waited and watched. Harry stood next to Remus on the right side of Ron's covered body, while he and Hermione stood to the left. They formed a somewhat sorry looking honour guard around the body. Draco's eyes shot back to the front door as he saw it open and heard a voice from within. He saw the littlest Weaslette smiling up at her older brother, her eyes having not yet taken in the rest of the party.

"Fred? What are you doing knocking on the door?" she said, her voice almost like the magical tinkling of bells.

Fred leaned down and placed a bloody hand on his younger sisters cheek. "Ginny," he whispered, his voice cracking, his eyes beginning to shine. "Oh Merlin, Ginny," Fred moaned as he collapsed at his baby sister's feet, his arms fallen limply in front of him, his eyes averted from Ginny's as though he was ashamed to look her in the eye. Draco watched as Ginny's smile disappeared as she stared at her brother.

"Fred?" she asked in confusion.

And then Ginny looked up. Draco have never held much compassion for the Weasley family, but the look in her eyes as she took them all in was enough to undo him. He felt the bile rise to his throat and it took all of his willpower and years of suppressed emotion to not turn and be sick.

As she took in the cloak-covered body she trembled slightly and turned to her brother. "Who?" she whispered. To Draco her voice sounded dead.

Fred's face crumpled and he swallowed visibly. "It should have been me, Ginny. Oh Maker, I saw it and it was me. Forgive me. Merlin, Ginny, I thought he was safe at home, I thought…I thought," Fred trailed off unable to continue.

Ginny fell to her knees in front of her brother and cupped his dirty face in her porcelain hands. She smiled angelically at him, her eyes shining with waiting tears. "Who?" she asked again, and this time her voice was soft and everything an angel's voice should be.

It was obvious to Draco that Ginny's actions were the only thing keeping Fred from going over the deep end. He would mourn, scream, yell, curse, and lose it, but he still had his younger sister to take care of right now. Fred's eyes met Ginny's and he whispered the dreaded news. "Ron."

Draco looked away as the two Weasley siblings collapsed into each other's embrace, feeling as though he were intruding on something entirely to pure and raw for the likes of him. He noticed now that Harry was slowly walking towards the house, while Remus took control of Ron's body. Hermione was sobbing and turned to look at Draco. He stood staring at her for a moment, not really knowing what to do. He didn't belong here. He wasn't part of this family. But where Hermione went, he would follow, and so he stayed.

Seeing that he was not about to make a move toward or away from her. Hermione turned and walked into the Weasley's house, past the two broken people crying their souls out on their front porch. Draco decided it was best if he followed Remus and walked into the Burrow for the first time. As they entered the kitchen Draco saw the bottom half of Harry's body sticking out of the fireplace. He heard his distant voice and imagined he must be contacting Ron's parents, as it seemed as though no one was home.

Footsteps coming down the stairs made both Remus and Draco turn to see who would soon appear. A tall redheaded man came into the kitchen. Draco had no idea who he was but could guess that he was probably one of Ron's older brothers. The man's eyes took in Malfoy, Remus, and Harry's now emerging body. In the background was the unmistakable sound of Ginny and Fred. Then the man's eyes fell upon the body. They widened and he looked at Remus.

"Who?" he asked, his voice strong and deep.

"Bill, I'm sorry," Remus began but Bill cut him off with a sharp gesture of his hand.

"It's Ron, Bill," Harry said from behind them, his voice quiet but strong.

Draco watched as Bill swallowed convulsively and nodded his head once before turning and heading towards the sound of weeping. A seed of respect began to grow in Draco for the longhaired Weasley.

Suddenly the kitchen was filled with popping sounds as the room filled with the rest of the Weasley family and a few others Draco recognized, and some he did not. Feeling this was not a place he would be welcome, nor that he would feel comfortable in, he caught Remus's eyes and nodded towards the back door. Remus nodded in acknowledgement before turning back to the Weasley family.

Draco hurriedly and unobtrusively made his way towards the door and opened it as quietly as was possible, closing it behind him. He walked out into the back garden and took a deep, stabling breath as he took in his surroundings. As his gaze passed the lower part of the garden, he saw Hermione's hair shooting out from behind the pumpkins. He took a deep breath and mustered up more courage than he'd needed in a while and walked the seemingly endless path to her tiny form.

As he rounded the corner and he finally saw her, he had to fight the urge to run over to her and take her away from all this. Her face was covered in blood and dirt. Her tears leaving wet smudges on her usually smooth cheeks. Her eyes were looking upwards as though searching for the answers of the universe.

"Hermione," he said softly, hesitantly. She made no move to indicate that she had heard him. He took the final steps towards her and sat down next to her, his tired back leaning heavily on the giant pumpkin behind him. "Hermione," he tried again, turning his head to look at her, his arm brushing hers.

She blinked. She blinked and Draco almost cheered. It was a sign of life, a sign of consciousness. He fought the smile that almost came to his lips and heaved a great sigh, allowing his tired and beaten body to relax for the first time in hours. Not really knowing how to handle a situation such as this, or really what to say, he slowly lifted his hand to her chin and gently turned her head to face his. His breath left him as he saw the hurt and loss in her chocolate eyes.

"How did you find us?" Draco asked very quietly, for lack of anything better, averting his eyes from the pain in Hermione's.

"Snape," came her hoarse, broken reply.

"Oh," he whispered. He was once again at a loss. What does a person do? He had no practice with this. He was the Slytherin badass, Lucius Malfoy's son. He would gladly throw his life on the line in an instant to protect her, but when it came to emotion, and condolences, Draco was stranded in a wasteland of confusion.

Fortunately for him, Hermione decided that words were not needed. Draco watched as she slowly leaned forward, her eyes drawing him into the depths of her, her lips acting as magnets. He felt his breath hitch. The thought that Hermione was willingly about to kiss him made him want to forget everything that had happened in the past week. Slowly, her lips reached out and met his. They were soft and slow, nothing like when he had pounced on her before. She tasted of blood, sweat and dirt. He had never tasted anything sweeter. He allowed his lips to caress hers achingly slow, and feather light. Neither had closed their eyes and he watched her watch him back. He had never been in such intimate contact with another human being. She was pouring all her hate, hurt, loss, and pain into this one kiss, and Draco gladly accepted like a blind man seeking sight.

Her eyes began to shine with a brightness that did not come from the cold sun. His heart began to ache but he couldn't pull away. She needed this embrace as much as he did. He brought his fingertips slowly up to her cheek and caressed her skin as his lips continued to caress hers. He never wanted this moment to end. When it ended, reality would hit them again. Ron would still be dead, Voldemort still free, their lives still in danger.

As the sky opened up to add its sorrow to Hermione's, Draco slowly pulled his lips free from hers. He stayed a centimeter in front of her, his eyes boring into hers, trying to feed her strength and love, not caring about the things that needed to be said between them. The rain picked up in strength but neither moved. She blinked as a raindrop fell onto her eyelashes. He smiled and leaned forward ever so slightly to kiss her swollen lips once.

"I'm sorry," he finally managed to say, his lips brushing hers due to their proximity.

"Sorry doesn't change anything," she whispered, her tears indistinguishable from the falling rain. "Sorry doesn't give me back a life I never had."

He felt a knife slide into his heart at her words. "I wish I could give you that life, Hermione, but I can't, and I'll never be able to. I realized that long ago and accepted it. Life for people like us will always be difficult and full of loss."

"But why?" she spoke through her sobs. There was pleading in her eyes, pleading to make things simple.

"You know why luv," Draco whispered as he began to stroke her wet hair. "We chose to fight. You woke up one morning and made a decision not to sit back at let others rule your life. You, me…Ron, we all chose a life with risks. He knew that," he said carefully. He didn't want to anger her, though he would rather have her angry with him than have to endure watching her heartbreak. He had never liked the Weasel, but Hermione had loved him. For him that was enough.

"Knowing doesn't stop the pain," she said, her eyes hardening slightly. 'Good,' Draco thought. She was a fighter and the sooner she started fighting, the sooner she would turn her pain and grief into anger. Then she would certainly be a force to reckon with. Draco had always been taught to take any emotion and turn it to advantage. People were unable to hurt you that way. He had lived by that for most of his life. He had lived like that until one fateful day he had crossed paths with the woman in front of him and tried to kill her.

"We'll find who did this to Ron, who has been torturing us for years, and who took you and kill them, Hermione," he said, his fingers finding their way back to her face. He saw her eyes pleading with him again, and this time he understood perfectly. Her eyes clearly said, 'Lie to me.' He took a deep breath. "This will all end and just maybe you will be able to have that life you've been dreaming of. No more loss and pain, no more crying when you think no one is listening."

"No more running?" she asked, her eyes boring into his. Draco allowed himself to get lost in this fantasy. He imagined she was asking him to stop running and join her in her life. He imagined that the emotion in her eyes that lay beneath the pain and sadness was love. He imagined. If lying to her at this moment was what she wanted, he would do it.

He nodded his head slightly. "No more running," he stated forcefully. A ghost of a smile stretched across her face and this time they met each other half way. This kiss was one of passion and need. Her tongue forced its way into his mouth and he eagerly accepted it. He had no illusions as to the nature of this kiss. She wanted to leave this place and he would gladly take her away. The consequences would come later. He had been willing to die for her; he had no problem helping her get rid of her pain, even if it meant losing her forever. He just didn't want to see her cry anymore.

At some point her hands had ripped open his already torn shirt and were eagerly exploring his wet, blood-covered chest. He brought his own hands around her tiny waist and pulled her towards him forcefully until he had her situated on his lap, her legs wrapping around his body. Their mouths were meeting and parting in the most primitive of battles and he pulled her body forward until they were chest to chest. He moaned. Suddenly they both froze. His eyes flew open and met hers, unable to read the look she was giving him but certain of the slight fear and uncertainty he found there. He brought his face away from hers, his body screaming in protest as her lips were torn from his.

He looked down between there bodies to see what had jabbed him so painfully in the chest and saw a handle escaping the folds of her torn robes. He looked back up at her and she closed her eyes briefly before opening them. She slid from his lap to sit on his knees and reached into her robes, withdrawing the offending object. Draco gasped, his eyes flying from the dagger up to hers.

"Whoever killed Ron used this," she said, her voice hard and even, her eyes turning to ice.

"Ho-How?" Draco stuttered out. He had thrown away that dagger so long ago it felt as though it had been a lifetime. He reached out and took the dagger from her, grasping it with his bloodstained hands.

"Fred," she said. "Fred saw you and went after it. He gave it to me the night I found you in my flat. I don't know why he did, and neither does he, but I took it and I put it in a drawer. I hadn't thought twice about it until I saw it sticking out of Ron's dead body," she said monotonously, almost as though she were reciting lines.

The world came crashing into Draco. He hastily removed his legs from under her, his eyes unable to meet hers. He stood up quickly, the rain plastering his ragged clothing to his body. He looked around the garden for escape, but his eyes were drawn back to the dagger in his hand. His father had given him that dagger. He had given him that dagger so he could kill Hermione. It was when he had held that dagger to her throat that his life had changed. He had thrown it as far as he could into that blasted lake because of how the dagger taunted him and called out for blood. And now, the dagger lay innocently in his hand looking for all the world as though it had not just spilled the blood of an innocent.

He had caused this. It all came back to him. He had started this all so very long ago. He should never have come back; he should never have learned to love her; he should never have tried to save her life. Instead she was losing the ones she loved. Soon she would realize what he had and come to hate him. He couldn't bear that. His eyes rose to hers and he saw her take a step back at whatever she saw in them. He had to leave her.

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered before he brought his mouth crashing down on hers for a single, solitary moment. Then he turned and fled. It seemed he was doing a lot of that lately. At least he was getting good at it. He turned and ran out of the garden, up the back stairs and came to a dead stop in the Weasley's kitchen.

They all looked up at him as though he were mad. Most had tears in their eyes, others looked lost, unable to deal with the pain. But one face met his with a hardness beyond anything Draco had ever experienced. Fred Weasley stood slowly and walked towards Draco. For the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy was afraid of a Weasley. If it were possible, Fred looked like Death herself had come to Earth and taken human form. Draco saw him glance at the dagger still clutched in his hand. The rain from outside began to run down his body and drip from his hand mixing with the blood there giving the dagger the appearance that it was dripping blood. Fred froze. His eyes slowly traveled back up to Draco's and he nodded his head towards the next room, indicating he wished to speak with him in the abandoned living room.

Draco followed.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**You're the only thing that I love  
It scares me more every day  
On my knees I think clearer**

**Goodness knows I saw it coming  
Or at least I'll claim I did  
But in truth I'm lost for words**

**What have I done, it's too late for that  
What have I become, truth is nothing yet  
A simple mistake starts the hardest time  
I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time**

**–Chocolate by Snow Patrol**


	19. Harry Potter, I Love You

**Title: Harry Potter, I Love You**

**Author: Hafthand**

**Rating: M**

**A/N: First off, I want to thank Lorett first and foremost. She kindly betaed this chapter for me. I had a lot of trouble with the grief bits and she kindly stepped in and added her life experience to my humble words. A BIG THANK YOU to her. She is a doll, a star!**

* * *

"Harry Potter, I love you!" came the proud pronouncement, his voice ringing out through the musty, smoke-filled pub.

Silence froze the pub. Not one person moved for a full five seconds after his announcement. Then suddenly, a great cheer shook the timbers of the pub as the two embraced each other as brothers.

"Alcohol truly is a gift from the gods," Fred Weasley slurred to his companions as he watched Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, former enemies, holding each other tightly as tears streamed down their faces across the pub.

"Wish Ron could have seen this," slurred an equally tearful Ginny Weasley from her seat on Remus Lupin's lap.

"I have no doubt he would be weeping with joy," Remus choked out, burying his head and his tears in Ginny's wondrous hair.

Fred turned his heavy head to stare at his weeping sister and pained friend. Ginny's glass was clutched loosely in her tiny hand, her eyes riveted to the scene in the front of the pub. Remus sat, his head hidden, his hands wrapped tightly around the oblivious redhead. At the mention of his brother's name, he had momentarily felt as though he should have been feeling some sort of emotion other than blissful drunkenness, but it was fleeting and he focused on what was in front of him.

"Hey, Ginny? Why you sittin' on Senor Werewolf's lap?" Fred asked quizzically, his face screwed up in concentration.

She turned and regarded him for the briefest of moments. Had Fred not consumed enough alcohol to kill an elephant, he would have noticed the momentary clearing in his baby sister's eyes. The fleeting soberness; the cold pain of reality. But Fred did not see this. Ginny turned her eyes to the man whose lap she sat in and smiled slightly before she opened her mouth. "Why Draco and Potter hugging?" she asked her older brother.

Fred paused and turned his head towards the two wizards. His eyes grew small as he searched his befuddled mind for the events that had led up to this moment. "Yeah, why are they huggin?" Fred asked aloud, as his mind stretched.

* * *

_Flashback _

Empty. Hollow. That is how he felt.

That is how he would always feel from now on. He didn't see how he could ever feel any differently ever again; it just wasn't possible. The pain had burned so strong that his body was now numb. He was oblivious to anything. The air was palpable with grief, you could feel it with every breath, in and out…anguish, sorrow, emptiness, death. Nothing would be the same. Everything had changed.

Fred stood staring at the dripping wet figure of Draco Malfoy before him. He didn't know why he wished to speak with Malfoy privately except for the fact that it took him away from the kitchen.

The kitchen. His little brother's current resting place. Ron. Blood. Pain. Blood. Loss. Body. Hurt. Tears. Weeping.

"STOP!" Fred finally screamed out loud.

He saw Malfoy step back at his outburst, his eyes darting uncertainly towards the doorway before falling back to him. Malfoy's eyes locked guardedly on Fred's and he settled into a silent stance.

Fred was grateful for his silence. He couldn't take words right now. There had been too many already. He couldn't bear any more.

"The advantage of having a large family is that you are never alone; you are always loved. There is always someone there for you," Fred found himself saying. He didn't remember deciding to speak and his words surprised him. From the raised eyebrow on his companions face, Fred has surprised him as well. But he had started and he wasn't about to stop now. Something in Malfoy's eye beckoned him to continue.

"Disadvantage to having a large family, when someone dies, the pain is multiplied by ten. Too many people saying 'sorry'; too many people crying. You'd think with such a large family the loss of one could be hidden in the masses," Fred spit out, his voice distant and hard. A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls

He allowed his eyes to travel down Malfoy's lean body, until they rested on his hand where the dagger sat. He couldn't steal his cold gaze from it; it glinted and shimmered in the firelight, mocking him in its easy, lethal grace. He snorted; it was so very, very simple looking. Yes, simple in its elegance, and elegant in its simplicity. Such a pretty thing.

Malfoy noticed Fred's gaze and slowly raised the dagger between them. "Where did you get it?" Fred asked, his voice steel.

Draco squinted his eyes slightly and tore them away from the silver light playing on the edge of the dagger and brought them up to meet Fred's once more. "I was just about to ask you the same thing, Weasley," Draco said, his voice also distant and hard.

Fred stood very still for a moment. When it was clear he would not speak until Draco had answered his question, Draco's eyes grew very dark and he said one word. "Hermione."

Ah yes, the root of it all. Hermione Granger. Suddenly Fred laughed out loud. One short, loud burst of laughter that felt as though it was being torn from his very body. He shook from the strain of releasing it and bit down hard on his cheek feeling as though his laugh had burned a path of fire from his stomach upwards and out through his throat. He felt sick.

He glanced at Malfoy and noticed the curious stare. "I'm not crazy, Malfoy. Not yet anyway," Fred muttered. "I realized something just now. You," he said pointing his bloody finger at Draco to make his point, "and me are not so different." He let the words drift slowly between them awaiting Malfoy's response. A moment later he was rewarded with a simple grunt of acceptance from the wet ferret. A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

Fred sighed loudly and ran his bloody hands through his tousled red hair. He suddenly felt old, so very old. He turned and walked across the comfortable room to his father's small collection of alcoholic beverages. Finding the Fire Whiskey, he turned to Malfoy and held up the bottle in question. Draco nodded and walked slowly towards him.

Fred filled two glasses, tipped back his head and let the drink burn it's way down the path his laughter had created. He picked up Malfoy's glass and glanced at it before pouring that down his throat as well. Fred didn't even wince at the taste; he'd long since gone numb. He filled the glasses again and this time turned and gave Malfoy his share.

They raised their glasses to each other in mock toast and downed their poison. Fred noticed Draco still held onto the dagger.

"What will you do with it?" Fred asked while refilling their glasses. Soon they would empty the bottle.

Draco tipped his head back to receive the second drink before handing the glass back to Fred for more. He raised his blood-covered hand and stared at the offending object. "It was only ever meant to kill one person," he heard Malfoy whisper.

"Yeah well, it never tasted her blood. Apparently it was meant for blood…a bit more pure," Fred spit out, his words coming out harsh and pain filled.

He had by now finished the bottle of Fire Whiskey and was refilling their glasses with some Scotch. He expected Draco to continue talking, but was happy he didn't. He watched over the rim of his glass as Draco hid the dagger inside his tattered robes. A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

"I fear there may not be enough alcohol in this house to suit our needs," Fred spoke softly, suddenly breaking the silence, his mouth fixed in a smile that would never again reach his dead eyes. He was pleased to see the same look mirrored on Draco's face.

"I think you are right, Mr. Weasley. Perhaps we should find our succor elsewhere?" Draco asked, his voice laced with all the respect and superiority he had been bred into. Fred smiled again and patted Malfoy on the back.

"You read my mind," Fred said. The need to escape this prison was too great. He needed out. Draco simply accepted Fred's words and he was thankful the wizard never suggested he stay with his grieving family. Oh yes, it did appear that Fred and he were more alike than he would have ever believed. Death had always lurked in Draco's eyes, now it took up residence in Fred's.

Fred knew most of Draco's secrets after their little chat back at the Manor. Now Draco was living Fred's. Fred's eyes flicked to the finished bottle of Scotch. He wanted to get out of here NOW. He wanted to be anyplace but _here_. Here, where reality was simply too much to bear. He wanted to be somewhere where no one knew him. Somewhere, where a person could look at him and not guess that grief was battling to conquer his soul. Somewhere, where he could pretend for just a few brief moments that his life was normal again. That _he_ was still normal, that he still had his whole family with him. Somewhere, where no one would be able to see that he was threatening to die from the weight of guilt and horror that was slowly chocking the life from him with each breath he took…His breath that he would gladly trade for his brother's. Breath that SHOULD have been his brother's…He groaned, Fred needed to get out of here…A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

A shuffling behind them made the two young wizards turn sharply towards the doorway. They had been so wrapped up in themselves and their conversation that they had failed to notice some changes that had occurred in the room. As Fred's lifeless gaze traveled the room, he wondered just how long the others had been there.

Remus Lupin was sitting on the floor against the wall, staring at the two with a far away, detached look. Ginny lay on the couch, her dress messed and flowing lazily around her. Her eyes were attached to the ceiling, but Fred knew his sister and he knew she had been listening. It appeared that it had been Harry Potter himself that had caused the slight rustling by the doorway. Fred thought he had never seen Harry so defeated, so small. Fred was relieved upon scanning the room to see George was not there. He couldn't see George yet, then it would be REAL and Fred wasn't ready for reality just yet….

Fred wondered at their presence. How long had they been in the room? Had they been listening or had they been too wrapped up in their own grief, their own pain. He sensed rather than saw Malfoy stiffen beside him at the sight of the others, his hand gripping the empty glass before him.

"Well?" Remus asked, suddenly breaking the stalemate. "Which pub?"

Fred felt the tension in him start to dissipate. Whether it was from Remus's unexpected but welcome words, or from the consumption of so much alcohol he didn't know or care. Fred sensed Draco relax next to him as well.

"I was thinking The Hag's Bluff," came Ginny's defeated voice from the couch.

"Nah, too many wizards. I say we go to a muggle pub. Fewer questions," Harry said, before he walked across the room and offered Ginny a hand up. She gracefully accepted and proceeded to smooth her green dress as her eyes darted towards Remus. The werewolf raised himself from the floor and approached the other two.

"Harry has a point. The alcohol is weaker, but considering our company," and Remus pointedly looked at Malfoy and Harry before continuing, "I think a muggle pub is our best bet. Any suggestions?"

Ginny shrugged and Harry just stood there. 'God how fast people change in the matter of hours. How the mighty are falling,' Fred thought to himself. He felt Draco move beside him as the Slytherin placed his glass back on the shelf before turning to look at the group once more.

"I know a place," Malfoy said, his voice soft, remote.

"Good. Let's go before anyone notices," Harry growled, his eyes darting uncertainly towards the kitchen door.

"Should we get Hermione or George?" Ginny asked, though her tone indicated she didn't care either way.

"NO!" Draco and Fred said forcefully and coldly at the same time. Fred glanced at Draco and wondered what had transpired to cause such an answer.

"Fine then. Malfoy, lead the way," Remus said.

_End flashback_

* * *

Fred's head reeled as it all came crashing back. All the pain, the grief, the tears. His head was spinning and he felt sick. How could he have forgotten? Why had he forced himself to remember? His drunken ignorance had been wonderful. He felt suddenly warm and suffocated. He could sense Ginny and Remus looking at him. He watched Draco and Harry laughing at each other. He saw his glass fall to the floor and shatter into a million tiny, broken pieces.

"No," he whispered, standing suddenly from his seat. The world spun and blackness took over.

* * *

He felt his eyes peel themselves open before slamming shut again at the unexpected brightness. A groan escaped his lips and he had the sudden urge to throw up.

Suddenly, the night before, or what he could remember of it, came crashing back to him and his body shot up. He ignored the spinning, the nausea, the pain. The numbness he had felt earlier began to once again take hold of him. He sat still for a minute before he noticed his surroundings.

He was not alone in this room. Next to him slept the form of Draco Malfoy, his arm thrown across Fred's stomach. His clothes were rumpled and his hair astray. He was snoring lightly. Across the room, slumped uncomfortably on the floor in the corner, lay Remus Lupin, his head thrown awkwardly back, his tattered robes wrapped around the sleeping form of Ginny Weasley. Neither snored. Both looked content.

Fred felt his heart constrict slightly at the seemingly peaceful people around him. What had he been thinking? How could he have allowed his baby sister to see him like that? How could he have allowed himself to take her away from his grieving family? With Ron de… a lump formed in his throat but he pushed it down.

It was his job now to watch after Ginny, the previous occupant of the position was no longer available. He shook his head slightly. Fine job he was doing so far.

He sat back against the headboard and wondered how he had gotten here. He had visited this flat enough to know where he was. A slight creaking at the door made his head snap towards the sound.

He watched as it slowly opened and the intruder of his thoughts pushed their way into the room silently. He watched her scan the sleeping forms of Ginny and Remus with a softness to her face. He saw her eyes get lost within herself as she took in Draco's sleeping body. Then her eyes met his. He saw the pain in her. The utter feeling of being lost obvious to any who knew what to look for.

She didn't seem shocked to find him awake. She forced herself to smile slightly as she approached the bed. He noticed she was carrying a bowl of water and a rag was thrown across her shoulder. An air of authority and a sense of mothering seemed to crackle around her. She looked beautiful.

"Well, how are you feeling?" her soft voice asked. She set the water on the bedside table and sat next to him, her weight shifting the mattress slightly. They both froze as Draco started mumbling in his sleep, the movement having interrupted his dreams. After a moment he fell silent again and snuggled deeper into Fred's side.

"Considering I woke up next to Draco Malfoy, not too bad," Fred said lightly, his playfulness sounding cold and empty to his ears. He knew Hermione had heard it, but she ignored it.

"Yes well, that would be enough to frighten anyone," she said softly, a genuine smile appearing fleetingly on her lips. She took the towel from her shoulder and dipped it gently into the water. She took it out and held it in her hands, her eyes downcast as though she were unsure of how to proceed. After a moment she looked back up at Fred and began to run the warm towel over his throbbing head.

Her touch was warm, gentle, loving, everything he didn't wish to feel. He wasn't allowed to feel these things any more. It was his punishment, his fate. She made him want to open up, to grab her and cry endlessly into her shoulder.

Hey eyes gently watched him, allowing him time to sort himself. "How did we end up at Remus's?" Fred asked, desperate to break the silence.

At his question she had to stifle a laugh. "Next time you lot plan on going out on the piss while your family sits mourning the death of a loved one, let someone know first," Hermione said, no accusations in her voice. "Your mother was in a frenzy. Ready to send the entire Ministry looking for all of you. Arthur and Charlie had to hold George down till we could calm everyone down enough to think."

Fred ignored the tightness in his heart at the mention of his twin. "Yeah well, didn't mean to worry anyone. Had to get out you know. The house was stifling us," Fred said. His eyes closed as she brought the warm rag to his eyes.

He heard her sigh before she spoke. "Yes well, I don't blame you. Neither does your father, or Bill for that matter. As for the others, well, being angry at you at least helps them focus on something other then the grief."

"You still haven't answered my question," Fred said quietly.

"Ah yes, sorry. How did you lot end up here? Well, Bill and I took it upon ourselves to locate you. Had to calm Molly's nerves. She thought you all had gone after Voldermort yourselves. One look at the empty bottle in the living room and well, wasn't to difficult to figure out what you had in mind. Bill figured you wouldn't want to go to a wizard pub considering you were with Malfoy and Harry," Hermione told him as she took the towel from his eyes. She brought her fingers to his cheek and caressed it momentarily before dropping it to her lap.

Fred opened his eyes slowly and looked around the room once more. "Speaking of Harry…" he let the question go unfinished.

At his words Hermione glanced quickly at Draco and smiled. "Harry is out cold on the couch. When Bill and I finally located you all at the pub you had just blacked out. Long story short, we thought it best to bring everyone here instead of your house. It was also necessary to uh, hmm- separate Harry and Draco. It seems they have overcome their differences," Hermione said, trying to hold back her amusement.

Memories of Draco and Harry embracing came into Fred's head and he smirked at the thought. "Wonder if they will still love each other when Harry finds out Draco slept with me instead," Fred said.

Hermione let out a loud string of laughs, unable to hold it in any longer. Fred watched her with his dead eyes and noticed the vibrancy that surrounded her. He knew she needed this release. It would help her.

"Oh, Fred," Hermione said, her laughter dwindling. She looked into his eyes and her laughter died. "Oh, Fred," she repeated; only this time her tone was somber. "Did it help? Did running away and drinking it all away help?" she asked, sincerely wanting to know.

Fred didn't answer. He didn't know. He didn't want to think about it. He was saved further questions by the groan that escaped Remus's mouth across the room. They both turned to watch as the werewolf slowly woke. He stretched his neck and looked down at the bundle in his arms. He gently pushed Ginny's hair away from her face and a smile appeared on the sad man's face. Ginny's eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled up at his scarred face. They hadn't noticed their audience. Hermione and Fred felt as though they were intruding.

They were all saved from further embarrassment as Draco began to wake up, his groans of discomfort piercing the silence and causing everyone's eyes to fly to his body. "Oh, Merlin," they heard him mutter as he tightened his grip around Fred's torso. He mumbled something into Fred's chest that he was sure was 'Granger.'

Suddenly laughter from three throats broke through the room and Draco's eyes flew open. Fred watched as the Slytherin's eyes traveled the length of the room finally resting on Hermione's. "Hermione," he whispered. Suddenly Fred felt Draco's body stiffen. "Hermione!" Draco shouted as he realized that is was Fred he was snuggling with instead of the Gryffindor Princess.

They all watched as he flew out of the bed, his eyes looking everywhere other then at Fred. "What...huh…I mean," Malfoy muttered as he tried to recall the previous night's events.

"Don't worry, Draco," Fred purred, "I was gentle with you." The alarm that suddenly registered in the man's eyes sent Ginny and Hermione into fits of giggles.

Draco glared at them momentarily before relief washed through his form. "Merlin, Fred, that was cruel."

"Yeah well, why pass up a perfect opportunity to torture you," Fred said. He threw his legs over the bed and walked over to Ginny and Remus. He let his dead eyes meet the werewolf's for a second before he turned his gaze to his sister. He didn't say anything, he simply held out his hand to Ginny. He watched her hesitate before one side of the inner battle within her won out. She reached out and allowed her older brother to help her up.

"That him then?" came a voice from the doorway. They all turned to see Harry standing there wrapped in a pink, flowery blanket. His eyes were locked onto Ginny's. Fred felt her grip tighten momentarily in his.

"Harry…" Ginny began, her eyes traveling between Remus and Harry, but let his name die on her lips.

Harry held his hand up. "It's fine, Gin. After all, I have me my own man who loves me," he said as he winked at Draco before turning and leaving the room.

Fred watched as Malfoy went pale. Hermione stood and cleared her throat. "Look, get yourselves cleaned up. Bill went back to the Burrow last night to tell Molly and Arthur you were all okay. I made some food if you think your stomachs can handle it," she said, her gaze finally landing guardedly on Draco's. Unspoken words falling between them.

"Yeah, I could eat," Fred said before he turned and left the room. He made his way through the hallway and found Harry sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes staring off into the distance, a single tear rolling down his face. Fred sat in the chair next to Harry as Ginny and Remus entered the kitchen. The table was piled with food but Fred thought it all looked like ash.

He heard the muffled voices of Hermione and Draco in the other room. He watched unfeeling as the others attempted to chew their food. He heard the rain pouring down. He felt the sudden urge to get revenge. Everything was different now. One quick action had taken away everything they had known. He wanted to kill them all, all those wizards who felt they could take away his world. Fred sat at the table contemplating how he would get his revenge as the others ate their lunch.

A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

Nothing had changed.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

"**Get up and dance - Get up and smile  
Get up and drink to the days  
that are gone in the shortest while  
****  
Oh get up and dance - Get up and smile  
Get up and drink to the ones  
who are gone in the shortest while**

**I sing my sorrow**

**Yeah I sing my sorrow"**

**-One For The Road by Ocean Colour Scene (one of the best songs written about grief, in my opinion.)**


	20. Fix You

**Title: Fix You**

**Author: Haft hand (Ally)**

**Rating: M or R whatever you prefer**

**Summary: Feeling even more guilty then usual, Draco watches as the dead get buried.**

* * *

It was raining. It seemed to always be raining these days. Draco attempted to remember when it hadn't been raining. It didn't matter. It was raining today, and today was something he sincerely wished he could just miss. Today was something he was not prepared to handle.

He had borrowed one of Remus' tatty black dress robes and though it had started off too large for his frame, the rain soon plastered it to his pale skin in a sickening combination of velvet and wetness. Draco could barely remember the feel of silk and satin, the finest tweeds. No, they were distant memories now.

But it didn't matter. None of that did.

He continued staring at the muddy ground in front of him hoping that the wind would go on blowing, drowning the sounds of sobs and words of farewell. This was not where he was meant to be. He did not belong.

But none of that mattered. He was here, now, and he wouldn't leave until she did.

A slight movement to his left made him turn. Harry's glasses were covered in large droplets of rain, shielding his eyes from the funeral before him. He hadn't said a word all day. Hadn't even looked at anyone all day. His pain was written on his face for the world to see. Like Draco, Harry had chosen to stand beyond the others, slightly removed from the mourning group. Draco looked up and thought that maybe 'mob' would be more the appropriate term.

An amazing amount of people had turned up to watch Ronald Weasley be buried. More than any of them had imagined. Draco felt a slight twinge as he thought of his own death. Would anyone even come? Would anyone even bury him? His gaze found its way to Hermione and he watched her, standing there next to George while holding Fred's hand. You could tell the difference between the twins now. No one would ever mistake the two again. As he watched her, he thought that yes, someone would see him buried. Someone at least would care if he died.

As the rain continued to beat down on the beautifully carved casket, Draco's gaze fell upon Bill Weasley, his savior from alcohol and affairs with Harry Potter. Draco thought back to yesterday when he had actually met the forceful wizard.

* * *

(_flashback_)

The door closed as the others dragged themselves to the kitchen. Draco felt the pounding behind his eyes and thought that maybe this time he had indeed drank just a little too much. A small sigh from across the room brought his eyes shooting up to lock onto Hermione's. He stood frozen as surely as if she were Medusa. '_Maybe she is_,' he thought bitterly. She certainly turned his insides to stone every time her eyes met his and felt his flesh sear at her glance.

He swallowed audibly and watched as she smiled a small smile that did not reach her eyes.

"Certainly in love with a lot of people these days, aren't we, Draco. One might think you had a problem with committing. If you'd be happier with Harry, you can have him. But I'm taking the dog and the Manor," she told him in her most matter-of-fact tone.

For his part Draco stood with his mouth hanging open as a million memories flashed through his head.

(_flashback within a flashback!)_

_He tore his mouth away from hers, his forehead resting against hers as he panted, his lungs screaming for oxygen. His mind still intoxicated with the taste of her and the feel of her hard-soft body beneath his. He leaned forward and placed a soft, almost chaste kiss against her hot mouth. "Merlin, I love you Hermione," he whispered against her lips. She gasped._

_Suddenly Draco's eyes shot open. He saw her own eyes staring back at him in surprise and wonder. His words came crashing back into his now sober brain and his entire body stiffened._

_"What?" Hermione whispered, her hands frozen in his hair._

(_end flashback within a flashback!)_

The memory smashed into his already aching skull and Draco Malfoy thought his luck had finally run out. "You remember that huh?" he asked quietly, carefully.

Hermione let out a short laugh. ˜It's not everyday a man tells me he loves me," she said softly, her eyes sparkling from grief or amusement, he couldn't tell.

"Look, Hermione, what I said, it's, I was, I am," Draco tried to put his thoughts, his fears into words but found his brain was unable to make a connection with his mouth. Before he could make a fool of himself even further, she interrupted.

"Don't," she said, her eyes pinning him. "This has been a very trying couple of weeks, Draco and I am done with the secrets, lies, plots, and stolen moments. I am a smart witch. I know when a man is looking at me with more than lust in his eyes. And don't you dare try and say you didn't mean what you said. Neither of us is stupid. Don't act like we are."

"But I am, Hermione. Don't you see that?" he asked, his voice pleading. "I'm stupid to think I could fit into this life you live. Stupid to think I could waltz back through the open door like nothing had ever happened. Stupid to think people would accept it. Even stupider to think no one would get hurt." Draco took a deep breath, his words floating around the room making his head spin. "It doesn't matter now anyway, Hermione. Don't you see that? Whatever I feel, whatever I felt, I am too far gone. I'm flawed, broken, and because of this I have brought death to your lives and will probably bring my own before this is over. I have hurt you too much already, I think. To make you think I feel something; to hope you might return that, would just make things worse when the end comes."

Hermione felt her breath rise up and down in her chest allowing his words to process. She remembered the impassioned and torn boy who had cornered her in the library, remembered the feel of his warm breath on her face. The pain in his eyes. The fear. She thought maybe he had always been broken, more so than the rest of them. He had never had anyone to pick up the pieces. Had never wanted anyone to, until he had tried to kill a girl so many years ago.

She reached out her hand as though to push back his pain from across the room. His eyes were furnaces of emotion, his body radiating the tension she knew he must be feeling. "Draco, please don't push me away. Not anymore." She took a deep breath and prepared her next words through a haze, not allowing her mind to linger on them. "Ron is dead, so many are already dead. We grew up in the middle of a war. No one should suffer that alone. Stop forcing yourself to. Let me help with the pain. Let me try," Hermione pleaded, taking a step closer to him.

"You can't fix this, Hermione!" Draco shouted his voice full of desperation and loneliness. "You can't fix me! I'm broken. Hell we all are," he spat, sitting down onto the edge of the bed, his hand running tiredly through his messy hair. "Sometimes people can't go back to how they were. Sometimes it's too late."

Silence settled over the room. He couldn't look up at her. She made him reveal too much, far too much. Hermione just stood staring at a point past him, her thoughts running too quickly through her mind to grab one. The silence stretched, twisted, threatened to break over them.

"Why did you come back, Draco?" Hermione finally whispered.

"You've asked me this already, Hermione," Draco replied, his eyes still focused on the wonders of the Oriental rug at his feet.

"Yes, yes I have, but I want to hear your answer again," she said firmly. Her body seemed to move forward of its own accord. She found herself standing before a broken creature. The woman in her wanted to gather him in her arms and never let go, not this time. She wanted to run her fingers through his silky hair kiss him and tell him they would all be fine. But she hadn't allowed herself to be just a woman in a very long time. She couldn't allow herself to be now.

Draco Malfoy was right. They were all broken, some more than others, but still broken. The war had made them all tired. She feared that at the end of it all, assuming she made it, she would be nothing more than an empty shell. Draco Malfoy very much feared he already was.

He took a deep breath to steady the dizziness the hangover and her presence were causing him.

"Hermione," but Draco never had a chance to finish what he was about to say as a sharp knock was heard from the door. His eyes flashed momentarily and he leaned forward as though reluctant to give up their solitude. But Hermione knew the real world was waiting to take over again. Would she never get more than five minutes with him?

"Come in," she said to the door.

Bill stood in the doorway his eyes taking them in with one quick, precise sweep. "Just got back from the Burrow. Thought you should know the funeral is tomorrow," he said crisply, delivering his news in a swift, forceful way that made both Hermione and Draco feel as though a mighty wind had just blown through the room and left just as fast.

"Okay, Bill," Hermione said, trying to keep a part of herself from really processing what he had said. "Okay. Did you tell the others"

"Yeah. Fred and Harry went back to help out and make amends for disappearing last night," Bill answered, leaning his long, hard body against the door frame. Hermione sensed his weariness.

"Was she terribly upset? Your uh, mother that is?" Draco asked quietly, his question catching the other two off guard.

Bill took him in with that cold penetrating gaze before replying. "Yeah, had a fit she did," he said, but then a slow smile spread across his face. "Did her good though, snapped her out of her feeling sorry. Made her focus on what needed to be done. Though I doubt Fred and Harry will escape her wrath. Think Ginny and Remus will be in for a bit too when they make their presence known later on," Bill said and turned his head towards the kitchen. A look of curious protectiveness was now present in his eyes as though he was trying to process what to do about his little sister's new relationship.

"You should leave it be, Bill. She'll need him now more than ever," Hermione warned.

Bill nodded once and then brought his gaze back to the other occupants of the room. I suppose you're right, Hermione. You usually are. So, Draco Malfoy, Bill Weasley." Bill introduced himself and held out his hand as he walked to stand in front of the rather haggard looking wizard.

Draco stared dumbly at the hand in front of his face. Surprised did not even begin to describe how he felt. "Never actually been properly introduced," Bill explained, waving his hand in front of Draco's stunned face.

Remembering his upbringing - and the fact that this man was offering him a gesture of goodwill, when only yesterday he had helped carry his Brother's dead body home - Draco stood up and grabbed Bill's hand in a strong grip. "Nice to meet you, Bill," Draco said firmly.

"Never thought I would say this, but nice to meet you too," Bill almost laughed while shaking Draco's hand vigorously. Bill let go and suddenly his face became serious. "Now come on you two, a lot needs to be done today." And with that he turned and left the room. Draco swore he could feel the blast of wind again. He decided Bill was a force. Simply that. The man swept into a room and swept back out. While in the room each look, each word had a power behind it. He had accepted Draco with hardly any explanation and Draco respected that. He decided he liked Bill Weasley.

"What are you smiling at?" Hermione asked from just below him. Draco looked down into her eyes.

"He is an interesting man," Draco replied quietly.

Hermione allowed herself a soft smile and a nod. ˜Yes, yes he is." She paused, "We aren't done talking about this, Draco. Don't think you get to escape this conversation. But right now we have to go plan my best friend's funeral. You might think you don't need me, but I need you right now. Do you understand? I can't break down. I have to be strong for them, and I need you to help me with that," she said in a firm voice. Draco felt his mouth open, but before he could get a word in, he felt her soft hand slide into his. She turned and left the room leading him to some unknown.

(_End flashback_)

* * *

She hadn't let go of his hand for the rest of that day. It had been a new experience for Draco, having to plan a funeral. Watching these people and realizing just how much Ronald Weasley had been loved. He was thankful that Hermione had continued to hold onto him, though he realized now that by the end of the day it had been him holding onto her.

Sudden movement brought Draco's gaze back up to the funeral. People were starting to move away. It must be over. So lost in his thoughts had he been that he hadn't noticed the proceedings. He watched as Hermione hugged both Molly and Arthur in turn before turning and burying herself in Fred's arms. He watched as Harry stood slightly removed, just as he himself was, his eyes still focusing on nothing. Remus slowly made his way over to stand beside Draco, Ginny Weasley attached to his arm, looking at Harry in concern.

"He hasn't said a word," Ginny stated.

"No, not since yesterday morning at your flat Remus," Draco answered, turning his gaze back to Harry.

"Maybe I should..." Ginny began to say, taking a short step toward Harry.

"Just let him be, for now," Draco stopped her with his words, his eyes locking onto the youngest Weasley. She returned his stare and must have seen understanding there for she nodded softly and turned back to Remus, wiping some rain from her black robes. Draco understood what was going through Harry's mind. He had been there himself once before. The Boy-who-lived would come back to them all when and if he wanted to.

Bill had joined their little gathering bringing with him Hermione. She too stood staring at Harry as though wondering if she should approach him but then thought better of it and turned back towards them.

"They're all heading back to the house, to get out of the rain, eat some food. Your mum is worried she won't have enough for everyone who shows up," Hermione said to Ginny.

"I'm sure it will be sufficient. Not very hungry myself," Ginny replied, her hand reaching out to clasp Hermione's. Draco cringed at the show of affection; the show of mourning...It was all his fault.

He felt a presence behind him and they all turned to watch Fred walk up. His eyes locked onto Harry behind them and then moved to his sister's. Draco watched as Ginny winced slightly at the lack of emotion in her brother's eyes. He felt his heart clench. He turned his head slightly only to confront the gaze of Hermione. So many questions lived there, in her eyes.

He couldn't hold it in any longer. All the guilt that had been eating at him as he had sat listening to the Weasley's plan a funeral for one of their own, now pushed at his insides. The dead look in Fred's eyes made him feel darker and dirtier then he had ever felt before in his life.

"It's my fault Ron is dead. You all know it. If I hadn't come Back..." Draco's voice trailed off.

"Yeah, you're right," Fred said, his voice dead and his eyes deader. "If you hadn't come back Ron would probably still be alive. Hermione would probably be dead though," he said pointing a finger at the stunned witch. Draco's head shot up. ˜You would never have gone to her flat and that wizard would have killed her. Then what? Huh?" Fred allowed his gaze to take them all in. "Who would have died then looking for revenge? Harry? Ron? Me?"

Fred took a step toward Draco. "Listen to me and listen to me well, Draco Malfoy. It doesn't matter if you came back or not. People were going to die. People probably still will," Fred almost whispered. Ginny shook her head as though to deny it, but her eyes held the truth. Remus reached out a hand to comfort her but drew it back unable to find comfort himself. Bill just stared at his brother, a hundred deaths playing before his haunted eyes.

"He's right," Harry spoke up startling the others. His voice was defeated, tired sounding. They hadn't seen him approach. Harry took his glasses off and tried to clear the rain from them for the first time since they had arrived at the graveyard. His eyes still would not meet anyone else's. "We can't change it, any of it. It's too late to fix the past."

"I'm so sorry,' Draco whispered, his eyes pools of self-pity and regret. A deep sense of failure and uncertainty began to envelop Draco. His eyes began to unfocus as his mind reeled at the reality of all that had occurred these past six years that had been directly related to him.

Suddenly Hermione walked up to Draco and a loud slap could be heard as her hand connected with his face. The rain making it sting that much more. Draco barely moved or blinked. He expected it. He felt he deserved it. His eyes finally came back into focus on her feet, the black of her shoes covered in brown mud.

"You look at me," she said, "Look at me!" It was the pain in Hermione's voice that made Draco look up at her. Her eyes were red and her hair was plastered in wet curls to her face. Her bottom lip quivered and her hands were balled into fists. She was beautiful.

"I have had it with your pity party. So what, you're broken! We all bloody are. You are not weak! Don't you dare start losing it now. Not after everything. I might not be able to fix you, Draco Malfoy," Hermione spat out, "but damnit we are going to fix this." She stood - her body quivering or shivering from the rain, it was unclear - her finger pointing down to Ron's grave. "Do you hear me?" her words cold and carrying to the others as her eyes traveled to each of them. "We are going to fix this, even if we lose ourselves in the process. They will pay for what they have taken. We will make them pay."

"They will wish they had never touched Ron," Fred agreed quietly, though his words held such pain and anger.

"We'll kill them all," Harry laughed, his words holding a hint of madness in them. His eyes locked with Draco and Draco stepped back from the truth he found there. For the first time Draco Malfoy truly understood Harry Potter.

The man had nothing left to lose.

Harry had just buried his best friend. His mortal enemy had reappeared to take away the woman he loved. The only other woman in Harry's life had found companionship in the arms of the only link to his dead parents.

Draco Malfoy realized that Harry Potter was utterly and completely alone.

And for the first time, Draco was scared of him.

* * *

**A/N: The chapter format may be a tad confusing. But the first flashback, Draco-Hermione-Bill, takes off just after the last chapter when Harry, Fred, Ginny, and Remus leave the room after their drunken night out.**

**The flashback within the flashback is from the chapter: boulevard of Broken Dreams, when Draco runs through the mansion for a kiss and an I love you before he, Fred, and Remus take off for the fortress of evil.**

**Love, Ally**

**'Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try To fix you'  
-Coldplay**


	21. Silent Revelations

**Title: Silent Revelations**

**Author: Hafthand (Ally)**

**Rating: M or R which ever you prefer**

**Summary: A long overdue visit**

* * *

He walked through the white, stark hallways and tried to ignore the whispering that followed him, the looks cast his way. The occupants of the paintings lining the walls were flying from frame to frame in order to keep up with him. The wizards and witches in the crowded hallways froze as he passed, and whispered to each other when he had gone. Draco Malfoy had come to St. Mungo's. Draco Malfoy was alive.

It was all quite a lot to take in. Rumour had him dead two years ago or at least missing. Yet here he was, in the flesh, though white as a ghost, walking calmly through the hospital's clean hallways leaving a trail of gossip behind him.

Patricia Alabaster shivered, as momentarily, all lights in the ward seemed to dim. She wrapped her shawl around her body tighter and checked the hall, a nervous sense of déjà vu pressing down over her heart. She was rather shocked by the sight of a young wizard walking, or rather stalking quite gracefully, towards her desk, his black robes billowing behind him in quite an impressive way. Patricia Alabaster knew who this young man was. Knew it to the very core of her being. She did not need the family resemblance to know that Draco Malfoy was fast approaching her. No. Ever since that night Mrs. Malfoy had spoken in fear for her sons life, a part of her had been expecting him to materialize in front of her. And here he was now.

'I am looking for Narcissa Malfoy's room,' he said in what could only be described as the Malfoy tone of authority. Oh yes, Patricia Alabaster had heard it before. All these pureblood families were alike. But as her eyes rose to meet his own, she was shocked at the fear she found there. Young Master Malfoy was afraid, and dare she guess, nervous?

'Yes, Master Malfoy, I expect you are,' she said softly, smiling warmly at him. His eyes flickered uncertainly at her unexpected kindness. 'Come young man.' And she motioned for him to follow her.

'Is she well?' she heard him ask tentatively. She allowed a quick smile. So he found her presence comforting did he? He would not have betrayed emotion in his voice if he hadn't. He was too well trained. She had that effect on people. Made her a good nurse.

She stopped before the entrance to his mother's room and turned to regard him. 'As well as can be expected, Master Malfoy.' She saw his eyes harden at her words and realized her error. 'Forgive me, I had forgotten. It's Mister Malfoy now. I apologize,' she said sincerely. She had called him by the title she used for all the young sons of pureblood families. She had forgotten his father had been dead these past few years. Draco was the man of the household now, whatever was left of it.

'It doesn't matter,' he said quickly and almost kindly. 'It is easily forgotten.' And Patricia Alabaster did not know if he meant her slip of words or his father's death.

She smiled up at him again. 'She will be pleased you have come. I daresay she will.' She noticed a small smile of anticipation tug at his thin lips. 'However,' and here she held up a hand to him, 'you must be made aware of her condition. She does not speak Mister Malfoy. And she will, in all likelihood, make no indication that she knows you are there.' She watched to see how the news effected him.

'I am aware of her condition, Madame. I just want to see my mother,' he said his eyes pleading with hers. For what, Patricia Alabaster could not say. The truths this young man held ran deep. She looked him over once more and realized how worn and ragged he actually was. Where had this boy been? What had happened to cause him to come back?

'Alright, Mister Malfoy. This way,' she said softly as she ushered him into the room. 'Mrs. Malfoy, you have a visitor,' she said kindly as she approached the beautiful woman.

'Mother?' Draco whispered quietly. He reached out and stroked her face. Her eyes stayed unfocused and he was positive she had no idea of his presence. 'Oh Mother.' He let out a tired sigh and sat carefully on the side of her bed.

'I will let you two alone,' Patricia said kindly.

'No, no. It's alright. I can't stay long I am afraid. Just wanted to see her, once, before…' but his voice trailed off.

His fingers found there way into her loose hair. He had never seen it down before. She had always been so exact in her appearance. The memories pulled at Draco and he felt himself floating back to various points in his childhood. Seeing his mother as he remembered her brought pain to his heart as he saw her now. She was even paler and thinner than she had ever been. Nothing but skin and bone now, the life and sparkle gone from her eyes.

Patricia watched as the young man before her stared sadly and lovingly down at the shell of a woman who had once been his mother. She heard a slight rustling coming from the other side of the room and she quietly went to check on the other patient. She pulled the curtain away gently.

She heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to see Draco Malfoy frozen at his mother's bedside. His eyes staring at the only other patient in the room. To her surprise the patient was staring right back. A look of intense concentration on his face, almost as though he were trying to pass along some message through his look.

'What is he doing here?' Draco asked quietly without taking his eyes from the poor man.

'Brought in the same time as your mother actually. Why? Do you know him?' she asked, honestly curious.

She saw his shoulders tighten. 'I did once. A long time ago in another life,' he whispered as he approached the young man in the bed.

She didn't know what to make of this so she tried to lighten the air in the room. 'Well look at that Master Zabini. Looks like you have a visitor as well!' But neither one heard her. They were intent on staring into each other's eyes as though a battle were being waged.

Suddenly Draco gasped and stumbled back away from the bed, his breathing coming in deep gasps. A small smile of relief passed over Blaise's face before his eyes rolled up and he passed out.

'What the-' Patricia began but was cut off as Draco spun towards her. He looked almost feral. Something he had seen in Blaise's eyes had lit a fire in him and it was waiting to burst from his eyes. 'Are you alright Mister Malfoy?'

'What?' he asked and shook his head as though reigning himself in. 'Oh yes sorry. Look I must leave now, but I need you to do something for me.'

If his words shocked her, she didn't show it. She had seen to many things in her lifetime. Too many things. 'Of course Mister Malfoy,' she responded.

'Look after them. Both of them,' and his eyes shifted quickly between the two patients. His voice was hard.

'Well of course I will. It is my job after all,' she replied confusedly.

'I know, I know, just promise me,' he practically begged.

'Yes, yes I promise,' she said unsure of why she felt the need to help this young man.

'Thank you,' he said. And without another word or another glance at any of the occupants of the room he strode out of the room, his cloak billowing. Patricia Alabaster followed. It had been a very confusing week.

As they left the room a single tear rolled unseen down Narcissa's face. She smiled, a sad smile, but a smile none-the-less.

Draco did not care that they were staring at him again. In fact this time they had a reason. Draco was running as fast as he could down the hallways trying to put as much distance between himself and the room he had just left. He had to get out of this building. He had to leave.

He had known seeing his mother again would be difficult but the surprise at seeing Blaise had hit him deep. The truth he had found in Blaise's mind made him push his legs faster. He had to get back to Remus's. He had to tell them what he had learned.

After they had left the Weasley's house after the funeral yesterday, they had all gone back to Remus's flat for the evening. Remus kindly offered him the guest room this time and Draco had gladly accepted, leaving the others to stay by the fire to talk about Ron long into the night. He himself had done some thinking. They had all agreed that the next day they would gather and plan out their next step. Before that though, Draco had one place he had to visit first. He had to come here to see his mother. He had to see her one last time, just in case he really did wind up dead.

So he had left early that morning, careful not to wake up Potter who he had, disturbingly enough, found in bed next to him when had awoken this morning. Now however he raced on and soon found himself back on the streets of Muggle London. A flicker of movement caught his eye and he looked up to see a dark figure leaning against the far wall several feet in front of him.

'Draco,' came his emotionless voice.

'Macnair,' Draco said coldly.

'Enjoy your visit?' he asked.

Draco noticed that Macnair made no move for his wand. Draco figured he must have been sent only to watch over the hospital and to see who visited Narcissa and then report back to his master.

'Pleasant enough,' Draco replied.

'Well I am positive they both enjoyed your little visit,' Macnair said as he fingered his wand as though he wished it were his axe.

Draco suddenly smiled a sinister smile and Macnair seemed momentarily surprised.

'You tell him we're coming. You make sure he knows. And if I were you, I would get out now,' Draco warned before turning his back on the Deatheater and walking a few more steps away from the magical wards around St. Mungo's.

'And why should I do that?' Macnair asked, no amusement in his voice.

Draco felt a cold smile form on his lips. Without turning around he said, 'Because we are coming to kill you all.' And with that Draco disappeared with a pop.

Macnair picked himself up off the wall and walked away from the wards. 'Yeah well, we'll see who kills who first,' he said to the cold air and emptiness around him. He took position and prepared to apparate. He had been told to watch. He had watched and now he must report back. Plans had to be made.

* * *

**Love, Ally **

**'Truths unseen are the purest truths to behold.'**


	22. Don't Call Me Harry

**Title: Don't Call Me Harry**

**Author: Hafthand (Ally)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Harry and Draco have a talk**

**A/N: I really enjoyed this chapter. Some long overdue acceptance I think. A million thanks to Lorett! The best beta ever! Always amazing input from you dearest!**

* * *

Draco reappeared in the warm room he had awoken in back at Remus'. His breathing was laboured and he wiped the slight bit of sweat from his forehead. It wasn't Macnair that had him feeling like he had just run for a day. It was Blaise. Draco hadn't seen Blaise since a night so very long ago. It seemed as if everything from the past was coming back to haunt him. The time was drawing near. Soon now, Draco could feel it. He let out a sigh and let his eyes travel over the shabby, yet comfortable bedroom.

The fire was blazing, fighting the cold attempting to get in from outside. A moth-eaten carpet lay on the floor in front of it. The was only one framed picture on the peeling walls. Draco had looked at it last night before he had gone to sleep. He had recognized Remus immediately. He knew one of the others had to be Potter's father. Every one was right; he really was the spitting image of his long dead father. Draco barely recognized the tall, dark-haired wizard. It was a faint spark in the eyes that indicated it was Sirius Black. Draco had seen his wanted poster plenty of times. The last one in the picture Draco knew all too well. Peter Pettigrew. He had frowned in distaste at the picture before turning away.

A grunt from the bed drew Draco out of his thoughts. Harry was still sleeping, though it looked as if he were about to wake. Draco briefly contemplated leaving the room and grabbing a bite to eat before informing Remus of Blaise's information, but something inside him made him wait where he was. He watched as Harry awoke and rolled over, rubbing his eyes before opening his mouth to speak. 'Where did you go?' Harry asked, his voice level, almost bored.

Draco folded his arms lazily, watching as Harry ran a hand through that eternally messy mop he called hair and paused before answering, wondering whether to lie or tell the truth. At Draco's continued silence, Harry turned his head back to him and raised an eyebrow in question. Draco was watching him thoughtfully, finally he took in a deep breath, leaned back against the wall behind him and answered, 'Went to see my mother if you must know, Potter.' His voice was full of fatigue, yet Harry sensed no bitterness.

This time both of Harry's eyebrows rose; but only slightly. 'Oh,' he muttered before sitting up in the bed, the blankets sliding from his chest and Draco suddenly shot straight up from the wall.

'You slept next to me all night without a shirt on, Potter?' he yelled.

Harry looked at him and said, 'Well not all night, Malfoy. Didn't get to bed till dawn you see.'

They stared at each other, the fire from the fireplace casting shadows on their already shadowed faces. Suddenly they both broke out laughing. Not a hearty side splitting laugh, for neither was really capable of such a thing anymore, but a laugh none the less.

'Merlin,' Draco gasped, trying to catch his breath as he walked across the room and threw himself in the chair next to Harry. Harry's breathing evened out and the two sat, lost in their own thoughts, with slight smiles on their faces. An outsider would have thought the two were friends sitting and having an amusing conversation. That is until they looked into the eyes of the young wizards.

The eyes always held the truth. And here it revealed death and coldness.

Harry scrubbed at his face and cocked his head, allowing his eyes to drift to Malfoy. 'We'll never like each other you know,' he said suddenly.

Draco brought his own eyes up to meet the Gryffindor's. 'Yeah Potter, I know,' he said and he slumped further into his chair.

'We're too different you and I. Too much of a history. Don't think either of us could get over that,' Harry said.

'Don't think either of us would want to,' Draco replied honestly.

Harry allowed a chuckle to escape his dry throat. He tore his gaze from the Slytherin beside him and watched the fire crackle on the other side of the room. 'Yeah, I suppose you're right. Have too much fun fighting with you to give it up,' Harry said, trying to stress the hidden meaning behind his words.

Draco's eyes snapped to the back of Harry's head. His words hung between them. 'What do you mean Potter?' Draco asked carefully, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

'Just what I said Malfoy,' Harry answered, slowly turning to meet the gaze of the young man who sat before him. 'I enjoy fighting with you too much to give it up. I have a feeling if you stick around we might get into a few interesting spats.'

Draco's mouth dropped. 'Harry Potter are you giving me your permission to hang about after all this madness is done…assuming I live through it?' Draco asked unbelieving.

Harry regarded him for a moment before slightly nodding his head.

Draco groaned in frustration and hung his head in his hands. 'Merlin and Morganna, I get drunk one night and proclaim my love for you, then you spend the night in bed with me and suddenly the axis of the world flips over and Harry-Fuckin-Potter wants to be my friend,' Draco said more to himself then to Harry.

Harry just laughed hollowly at Draco's words. 'How could I resist the Malfoy charm? Few enough witches can,' Harry said watching as Draco's eyes darkened in understanding.

Draco heaved a great sigh and stood up. Pacing suddenly held an appeal at the moment and he wasn't going to fight that urge. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to understand what the Boy Wonder was offering him here. It was obvious that Harry knew of Draco's feelings for Hermione. What wasn't so obvious was why he wasn't being strangled to death for said feelings. Instead it seemed as though he was getting the approval of the last wizard on this planet Draco thought would accept him.

'Have things really changed this much?' he whispered to the room.

'Fraid so Malfoy,' Harry confirmed as he swung his legs from beneath the blankets to the side of the bed. Draco couldn't help but notice the flying ducks on Harry's boxers. In a different situation he would have asked bout them. 'Look Ferret, like I said, you will never be my favourite person, and you will never be good enough for Hermione. But she seems to think otherwise and well…after all that you have done to ensure her safety, let's just say I know you won't kill her while she sleeps,' Harry rushed through the last part.

Draco whipped around. 'You know?' he asked in surprise.

'I know,' Harry confirmed.

'Since when?' Draco asked, his hands hanging limply at his side.

'Just a few days really. Put some pieces together and Remus confirmed it for me,' Harry said softly. He cracked his neck slightly and stood up to face the wizard before him. 'Look, what actually happened, well the details are sketchy; I didn't delve to deep into them. All I know for certain is you killed your father and for some reason you did it to protect Hermione. But that is enough for me. I love her, Malfoy. I love her so much, I always have. And I want you to know if you hurt her or make her cry I will personally be your executioner. She is all I have left now,' Harry said, his voice steel, his eyes harder. 'Ron would never have accepted it you know.' Here Harry's voice wavered and his eyes flew to the wall, avoiding Draco's piercing stare.

'I know,' Draco said. He was still in shock at Potter's words, but he had learned long ago how to control it. 'I know he would never have and truth be told I never would have thought you would. But, Potter, I am not even sure I should be sticking around. After everything that's happened, I am not sure I will even survive any of this.'

'Though I appreciate your honesty, I doubt you would have the ability to leave if you wanted. When Hermione sets her eyes on something…well I am sure you remember her at Hogwarts,' Harry said and both wizards winced as memories cascaded through their minds of the utter resolve and motivation of Hermione Granger.

'Don't know how you put up with it really,' Draco said, easing into this uneasy truce with Harry, testing the boundaries.

'Yeah well, neither do we,' Harry said then froze up. 'I meant neither DID we. Ron doesn't have to put up with it anymore.'

'Don't do this to yourself, Potter,' Draco said sincerely.

'Just because I am okay with you sticking around doesn't mean you have the right to lecture me or give me advice,' Harry snapped, his voice cold.

'Well you should listen anyway, Potter,' Draco replied just as coldly. He turned and walked to the window. 'Did you kill him? Was it your hand that pointed the wand? No. So you lost a friend, maybe more of a brother. Fine. Mourn. But don't lose yourself so completely to that darkness that lurks beneath your breast waiting to consume you in a moment of utter weakness and despair. There is no coming back from that, Harry,' Draco said softly and carefully, using his first name to drive home his point. He kept his gaze fixed out the window, watching as an owl flew through the trees in Remus' backyard.

'Don't call me Harry,' he heard Harry mutter. Draco turned back around and saw the blankness of Potter's face. The fire casting moving shadows across his pale chest. Harry let out a big sigh. 'I get it you know. I hear what you're saying. I see how Ginny looks at me with pity in her eyes. I see it all. And you're right. The darkness is there, waiting for me to just give up. It would be so easy to just give up. Better to not feel anything then to deal with the pain. He was not my friend, Malfoy. He WAS my brother, the closest thing I ever had to really family. He and Hermione both. I keep losing my family to this stupid world that I never knew existed.' Harry paused drawing in a ragged breath and Draco remained silent, sensing he wasn't done. 'Men like us aren't allowed happiness are we, Malfoy? Men like us are destined to suffer loss and pain. And that's okay. I accepted that long ago. I am pretty sure you did as well. But sometimes I just want to say, fuck it, and disappear into that darkness. It would be so easy, you know. But alas, I don't. I remain, while those around me fade to dust.'

Draco stepped closer to Harry. 'That is what makes you different from them, Potter, from the Death Eaters, from Voldemort, from people like me. You choose to turn away from the darkness. You're Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Won't-Fuckin-Die. You're better then the rest of us. Hate to admit it. Fucking pains me to say it, but not everyone can go against the Dark Lord time and again and come out virtually unscathed. I went against his orders and have been on the run ever since. Sleeping where I can and when I can. You, you are surrounded by people who love you, people who would die for you. People would kill to have what you've got.'

'Jesus, Malfoy, if I didn't know better I would think we were having a heart-to-heart here,' Harry said ruefully.

'Yeah well, got caught up in the moment I guess. That bloody witch is doing all sorts of strange things to me,' Draco said as he rubbed his eyes trying to comprehend how all those words left his mouth. Trying to figure out why he even cared. Well, answer was easy really; Hermione. Hermione cared about Harry. If she lost him as well, Draco didn't think she would come back from that. He couldn't let that happen, nor could he lose her now that there was a possibility of finally keeping her.

'Whatever she is doing to you it's creeping me out. And I just realized I am only in my boxers. Not comfortable with this situation here, Malfoy. So let's shake hands and agree never to discuss any of this with a living soul…or dead for that matter, no ghosts!' Harry added hastily.

'Agreed,' Draco answered quickly and held out his hand for Harry to grip. Just to prove a point to themselves, they each tried to break the other's hand in the shake.

Suddenly the door flew open and both wizards froze.

'Uh, we can come back if this is a private moment,' said Ginny from the door. Hermione stood slightly to her left and was trying and failing not to giggle.

Harry let out a high pitched screech, released Draco's hand, turned an amazing shade of maroon, and flew back under the blankets.

'Please, like we haven't seen you in less than your boxers Harry-I-Can't-Hold-My-Liquor-Potter!' Hermione smiled at the lump that was the aforementioned wizard.

'Why does everyone insist on doing things like that to my name?' he groaned. 'And besides, that was only once and I blame Fred and George entirely,' came Harry's muffled voice from beneath the covers.

'Ugh, like we wanted to see you naked,' Fred said as he walked into the room, throwing an apple towards Draco who unfroze quick enough to catch it.

'You were the one who dared me, Fred Weasley,' Harry accused from his blanket kingdom.

'Yes well, doesn't mean I wanted to see you naked,' reiterated Fred between bites of his own apple.

'Oh will you two stop,' Hermione said. 'We didn't mean to - uh - interrupt, we just thought you might want to get up before the day had passed is all.' Hermione walked to the bed and pulled the covers back while searching the floor with her eyes for Harry's trousers. She found them and threw them at him. 'Get dressed. Lunch was ready ages ago, so you have to put up with cold turkey. Bill went out to get a few things but should be back very soon.'

'Come of Gin, let's go wake up your boyfriend. We have things to discuss and plans to make once these sorry excuses for wizards get their asses in gear,' Fred said as he dragged his sister from the room. Her sarcastic complaints could be heard as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Draco continued eating his apple as he watched Hermione go over to stoke the fire. He faintly touched his cheek where she had slapped him yesterday. Potter had finally put his trousers on and was lying comfortably across the bed staring at the ceiling, his bare feet dangling over the edge.

'Where did you go earlier?' Hermione asked over her shoulder, her eyes directed at Draco, her tone carefully distant as though she were unsure how to approach him. He raised his eyebrows in query. At his unspoken question she quickly added, 'I peaked in the room earlier to make sure you two were okay. Your side was empty.'

'Oh,' Draco said around bits of apple. 'Well I woke up, saw Potter and fled in horror,' he said dryly. Harry chuckled coldly.

'So where did you go?' she asked again, ignoring his previous statement. She stood from the fire and turned back towards them.

'He went to visit his mum,' Harry said softly from the bed. Draco stuck out his tongue at him and tossed the apple over to him. Harry reached up, caught it and began to eat the rest, still lying comfortably on the bed.

'Oh, I didn't realize…I mean I didn't know she was still…' Hermione trailed off, unable to finish. Her eyes flew to the floor and Draco felt the familiar draw pulling at him whenever she was in the room.

'She is at St. Mungo's. Been there since the night my father died,' Draco said and noticed Harry pause in the middle of a bite, his eyes meeting his.

'Oh well, I am sure she enjoyed your visit,' Hermione said hopefully taking a few steps across the vast room towards Draco. Harry could be heard crunching away on the apple.

'She is really aware of anything anymore. I doubt she even realized I was there,' Draco said, but plowed on as he noticed the sadness creeping into Hermione's eyes. 'But I did discover something. Her roommate is none other than Blaise Zabini.' Draco watched for a reaction to his words. Hermione frowned in thought and Harry sat up straight as an arrow.

'Blaise Zabini? As in, your fellow Slytherin who disappeared in the middle of seventh year?' Harry queried, the apple lying forgotten on the bed.

'Yes, that Blaise Zabini,' Draco clarified.

'What is he doing in St. Mungo's?' Hermione asked, though not to anyone in particular. Draco watched her face as she thought out loud to herself, She was trying to make connections and uncover truths that had been hidden from her long ago. Draco yearned to reach out and touch her and tell her everything, reveal everything she had forgotten. But it wasn't time yet. Soon enough, and certainly not when Potter was present.

'The nurse there told me he arrived when my mother did,' Draco said carefully and once again noticed the sharp look Harry gave him. Potter wasn't slow, Draco would give him that. 'Guy can't speak anymore apparently. He told me the most amazing things though.'

'And how did he do that if he can't speak?' Hermione asked.

'Come on, Granger, you're smarter than that. Think about it,' Draco said playfully and widened his eyes while wiggling his eyebrows.

'The eyes,' Harry whispered and Draco nodded.

He heard a gasp from Hermione and turned to regard her. She had her hand half outstretched towards him, her eyes gleaming with amazement and unasked questions. 'Occlumency. You're a Leglimens,' she whispered.

'Yes, and you'll never guess what I saw.'

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**'Trying hard to reach out  
But when I tried to speak out  
Felt like no one could hear me  
Wanted to belong here  
But something felt so wrong here'  
-Kelly Clarkson, 'Breakaway'  
**


	23. We Few, We Happy Few

**Title: We Few, We Happy Few**

**Author: Hafthand (Ally)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: The time for secrets is passed. As truths are revealed, decisions must be made.**

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He was breathing harder than he had even done before in his life. His heart felt like it was going to explode from his chest. Sweat drenched his body and yet all Draco could do was moan in pleasure. A quick movement below him and he felt himself gasping.

'Merlin, Hermione. Do you want this to last more than a minute?' he asked the beautiful naked witch below him. He watched her pout deliciously and resisted the urge, the need, to devour that lip.

Hermione raked her nails down his bare, sweaty back and said, 'I don't care how long it lasts, Draco. I am not letting you go till morning.' She smiled sweetly up at him, her eyes glazed from their activities.

Draco returned her smile and wondered briefly how he had gotten so lucky before lowering his head to kiss her sweet mouth.

(_Flashback_)

He found himself telling the others exactly what he had just finished telling Potter and Hermione in his temporary accommodation. After they had left the room, Hermione had insisted on gathering everyone in Remus' living room. Draco noticed it was a bit more cramped than Hermione's but everyone found a suitable and comfortable spot. Ginny found her perch on Remus' lap. 'Efficient use of space,' she had said with a smile when Bill had asked what she was doing. Remus had simply smiled.

Bill had returned right on time and was currently sitting next to his brother on a rather horrid purple loveseat. Fred sat nibbling on a piece of cake he had acquired from Merlin knows where. Draco noticed his eyes were still dead. A shiver went down his back. He acted very much like the old Fred, but Draco was certain that was for Ginny's benefit alone.

Potter sat on a wooden chair that frankly looked like it had been clawed at by a large hairy animal. 'Hmm. What could it have been?' thought Draco sarcastically. Hermione sat next to him, perched on the end of a table half-lost in thought, and half-listening to Draco.

Draco stood facing the rest of the group before him for two reasons. One, there were no other places to sit, and well the floor wasn't an option. Two, well, Malfoy's simply did not sit on the floor.

Draco came to the end of his story and stood watching the others.

'So let me get this straight,' Bill said, his tone even and strong. ' Voldemort risked his sorry, half-blood skin to sneak into St. Mungo's so he could give your mum a scare on the hopes that you would visit her and run into Blaise who you would then stand around long enough to stare deeply into his eyes and see the truth? This is what you are telling us?' Draco heard Ginny chuckle and saw the doubt on some of the other's faces.

'Well when you put it that way, Bill, it does sound a bit strange. But basically yes. Voldemort wasn't hoping I would show up. He KNEW I would. I spent the better part of my youth practically in his service,' he said carefully. The others simply continued to listen to him, though he noticed Fred's cake was frozen, hovering two inches in front of his open mouth. 'The Dark Lord knows of my affection for my mother. He's used her against me more than once. He is a very perceptive and intelligent man. He may be a psychopath and prejudiced beyond belief, but don't be fooled for one second he is not perceptive and highly intuitive.'

Draco drew a breath. He felt Hermione shift next to him and noticed her hand slide closer to his leg. If only the table were bigger he would have sat next to her.

'So, Voldemort knew you were going to go see your mother. He presumed you would want to say good-bye before you attacked him,' Remus said from behind Ginny, as though reiterating it to himself would help him understand.

'Yes, precisely. And as to how he knew I would be attacking him, well once I saw and heard what he said to my mother, he knew I would come. Whether he knows you all will be joining in; I can only assume it has crossed his mind,' Draco said wearily.

'How did he know you knew Blaise? Or rather, how did he know Blaise would show you these things?' Potter asked staring at some point on the far wall.

'Blaise and I were…friends once. Things happened, regrettable things, and Blaise paid for it. He knew many of my secrets long ago. He knew I could see into his mind. Blaise was the closest thing I had to a friend back at Hogwarts and he paid for it dearly. His continuing silence is proof of that. I assume Voldemort knew he would warn me,' Draco said.

'How did Blaise end up like he is?' asked Hermione quietly.

Draco's eyes snapped to Remus' and the werewolf stared back. 'There was a fight, a few years back,' Remus said carefully.

'Blaise was caught in the crossfire of a spell not meant for him. He lost the use of his voice, among other things,' Draco said sadly.

'He saved your life, Draco,' Remus said quietly attempting to offer some solace to Draco's guilt.

'I never asked him to,' Draco spat out, his anger at his father and what he had done rising within him.

'Was it…was it your Father who was trying to kill you but hit Blaise instead?' Hermione asked softly, her eyes focused as though she was trying to connect the dots in her mind. Draco's eyes widened in alarm and surprise at her question, she was hitting so close to too many things. He couldn't answer this without her asking more, dangerous questions.

'Leave it, Hermione,' Fred suddenly said, his voice steel. Hermione sat up straight in shock and Harry's head shot over to the Weasley twin in question. Draco shot Fred a grateful look.

'Look we have strayed from the important thing here,' Remus added smoothly, leaning around Ginny who was staring at her brother with question in her eyes. 'The important thing is whether or not we believe if Voldemort intends to go through with this, or if it simply another trap.'

'Well,' Bill said, carefully removing the forgotten piece of cake from his brother's shirt, 'I don't think it matters. It is clear Voldemort is trying to drive out Malfoy, and most probably Harry now. What happened to Ron was not done to capture Malfoy's attention. It was aimed at you.' Bill's finger was pointing straight at Harry, who at the older Weasley's words had paled considerably.

'It's you who has to finish him, Harry. You know that. Maybe he is tired of waiting. Tired of waiting on a boy,' Hermione said softly. Her eyes were great pools of emotion and Draco fought the urge to bend down and gather her in his arms. He settled for shifting over so his leg was softly touching her bent one. He felt her relax and was pleased his closeness affected her.

'Why now though?' Harry asked.

'Because of me,' Draco said.

'You?' Ginny whispered.

'I came back didn't I,' Draco stated.

'What does that have to do with anything?' Ginny questioned.

'Draco had been in hiding for the past two years. He wasn't a threat to anyone,' Remus said placing a comforting arm around Ginny's waist. 'But now, now he is back and has joined up with Harry Potter. This is cause for worry.'

'But why would Voldemort be afraid of Draco and Harry joining together? Sure Draco is a powerful wizard but how did Voldemort even know he would seek Harry out?' Hermione asked.

'Ah but there in lies your answer,' Remus replied, a sad smile stretching across his lined face. 'Voldemort did not think Draco would seek Harry out, my dearest Hermione. It was you Voldemort knew Draco would search for and seek out. And you inevitably lead him to Harry.'

'And how did Voldemort know he would seek me out?' Hermione asked, her tone becoming testy and impatient, as though she knew Remus was avoiding revealing the truth. Remus glanced up at Draco and shrugged his shoulders.

Draco opened his mouth, but closed it again, very aware of every eye on him and Hermione and acutely unsure of what to say without revealing too much.

'I think the question you really should be asking, is why Voldemort was afraid Malfoy would go to you and therefore Harry,' Fred said as he stood and walked across the room to stand in front of the simple fireplace, his back to the rest of the room. 'Maybe you should ask what he did to make Voldemort so angry at him.'

Draco froze in place. 'Fred,' he growled, trying to bring his emotions under control.

'He is right, Draco. The end is coming anyway. What does it matter now?' Harry said very softly from Draco's right side.

'Does everyone know what is going on here but me?' Hermione snapped as her hands flew into the air in frustration. Draco instantly eyed her warily. It was clear that Hermione hated not knowing what was going on…And her general desire to know and dissect everything that flittered in that brain of hers and her damn determination to find out and understand anything and everything was a very big problem.

'I don't understand what is going on either,' Ginny said and frowned as she glared down at the man beneath her.

'I know bits, shreds that I've been told, but not enough, not nearly enough,' Bill said almost more to himself than to the others.

Draco, for his part, was torn. He wanted so desperately to be rid of the great burden that this secret was, but how much could he reveal? Just enough, enough to make them understand? To make her understand? He glanced down at Hermione and slowly reached his hand out to capture one of her loose curls. Her eyes snapped up to his and he found himself smiling down sadly at her. She was so precious.

'So many people have been hurt trying to keep you safe,' he said before he realized it.

'What?' Hermione asked incredulously.

Draco snatched his hand from her and backed away two steps. 'Nothing. I …fine,' he said a little too forcefully and stamped over to stand next to Fred. The tall wizard turned to regard him, and Draco saw the fire reflecting in his eyes.

'Harry's right, Malfoy. What does it matter anymore anyway? So many people know…,' Fred trailed off and Draco nodded his head slowly in resolution.

He turned and took a deep breath. 'Voldemort isn't afraid of me, not like he is with you, Harry. But he does fear what I can be capable of, especially teamed up with you. I did something, something that pissed him off royally. Something that was a blow to his ranks.' Draco swallowed and felt their eyes on him. 'Ever since then I've been running and in hiding. I've been a coward, but he knew I would come back and he's been waiting patiently. He knew I would crawl back into the world of wizards eventually and then he'd have his opportunity to kill me once and for all. And if I were alone, he could and would succeed. In the company of others, especially all of you, well, the job has become considerably more difficult.' He smiled ruefully at the group, carefully avoiding Hermione's piercing gaze.

'You are right, Hermione. I am powerful, more powerful than you probably know. There are spells, ancient spells, not written in any book, age old family secrets and pureblood dark magic spells that live in my mind. I know things…am capable of things that could be dangerous to the Dark Lord and those who serve him. My Father taught me well and with a purpose. He made me into what he hoped would be Voldemort's greatest weapon. At least he started to. He gained much favour with the Dark Lord and was his right hand man. Lucius was given gifts for raising me as he himself had been raised. He was given great power. No, that's not exactly right; rather, he was given the knowledge to gain great power. He was dangerous. More dangerous than any of you had ever thought. And he passed that knowledge onto me.'

'But neither counted on my mother and her influence. She loved me,' Draco paused and closed his eyes, struggling suddenly to get his emotions under control before continuing in a low voice, 'She LOVES me, as she had never known how to love anything before. She knew what they were planning for me and fought with my father against the lessons. She tried to shelter me the best way she knew how. She rarely succeeded. My mother was never powerful enough to stop Lucius. Not after being his slave for so long. But it was enough for me that she tried. I didn't fight against my father's lessons or the path he and Voldemort laid out for me. I was raised a pureblood. I completely agreed with it all.' Draco paled considerably, 'Embraced it willingly.' His eyes flicked to Hermione, he looked like he was considering what to say next, but sighed deeply and continued on. 'Anything that would help me rid the world of Mudbloods…' he spat out the word and ignored the feeling of the intense stares from all those in the room. His eyes were cast firmly down at his feet. He dared not look at them - at her. Not yet.

'So I went on training and learning. And my mother continued to try to crack the barrier of hate I had surrounded myself with. Don't misunderstand. It isn't that she was against Voldemort's plan. She is a pureblood and though she may not have been filled with hate for those not born into a wizarding family she still liked to feel superior. It's how she was raised, how we were all raised. But then she had me and found herself caring about something, loving someone wholly. She wanted to protect me from being used. She didn't want to see me hurt, controlled, tossed aside. I should have listened to her more closely. I didn't though. But some of it got through, even if I didn't know it at the time.'

Draco paused and took a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair. No one moved and from the silence it sounded as if no one was breathing either.

'But then something happened. I had been given an order, one which I had every intention of obeying. But something stopped me. I couldn't do it.' Draco felt Fred stiffen next to him. He finally let his eyes find Hermione's. They were wide and she sat there staring at him as though he would explode if she looked away. 'I was never the same after that night,' he said softly. He could see understanding blossom in her eyes and he knew she was remembering the night he had tried to kill her with that damn dagger.

'What happened?' Ginny asked curiously and Draco looked around to see Bill, Remus, and Potter looking at him the same way.

'It doesn't matter,' Hermione said suddenly, her tone serious.

'I think it does. If it changed him-' Ginny began but was cut off.

'I said it doesn't matter. It's his private business,' Hermione snapped. Ginny recoiled in shock.

'Hermione,' Draco said softly, his eyes falling into hers.

'No, Draco. They don't need to know. It isn't important. Its enough that they know you changed after that. They don't need to know the details,' Hermione pleaded with him. Draco realized she didn't want them to know how she had given in that night. She was afraid of what they would think of her if they knew how quickly she had given in and wanted his blade. He walked back over to her and trailed a finger down her face. Her skin was so soft, so impossibly soft.

He nodded his head and saw the relief in her eyes. 'All right then, Hermione. So be it. It's not their business.' He agreed, his eyes holding hers in understanding before turning from her, his finger sliding from her face and he turned to the others. 'Suffice it to say I wasn't as open to my Father's teachings after that. I was no longer satisfied with being a pawn to some psycho half-blood.' He walked back over to Fred and leaned heavily against the mantle sighing deeply.

'Well, for the next two years I tried my best to breakaway without making it obvious. I was so deeply involved in the Dark Arts and their plans I couldn't just say, Oh well, thanks for the knowledge, it will come in handy one day. No, I had to be very careful or I would have been killed. My mother sensed the change of course, but never spoke to me about it, that would have been foolhardy and dangerous. But I caught her smiling at me knowingly at times. She was a beautiful woman,' Draco said as he remembered her as she had been, not who he had seen in the hospital. He heard Fred shift beside him, the heat of the fire pressing upon them. They both ignored it.

'Time passed and Voldemort's impatience with me grew. I continued to avoid completely the mission he had set for me in fifth year. He grew angry. Potter had just dealt him another blow before the summer and he was getting restless. So finally, he gave the mission to someone else. Christmas holidays were fast approaching. You three stuck around Hogwarts as per usual, but I went home.'

Draco had to stop, the fire was making his back sweat and he knew he was coming to the crux of it. He breathed deeply and felt Fred shift a bit closer to him, offering him a support Draco would never have expected from Weasley less than a month ago.

'There are some things you wish you could forget, you know? Some things you think maybe you would be better off not remembering, things that will haunt you forever. The Dark Lord had enlisted one of his best to do what I had continued to be unwilling to do. It was a fierce battle when it happened. Remus was there and your father,' Draco said, nodding towards Fred. He heard Ginny's gasp. He risked a glance up and saw the looks of surprise on Ginny's, Bill's and Hermione's faces. Ginny turned around, staring at Remus who was staring at Draco looking pale as he too remembered that night.

Draco continued to stare at the werewolf as he finished the story. 'It was a cold night, I remember that. I had forewarned about the planned attack. I went to Remus to warn him. Don't ask how I knew where he would be, that is a story for another time. So we gathered together those who were present and went back to the Manor. My mother was there and Blaise. I lost them both that night,' Draco said tightly, his voice trailing off as he remembered his Mother's screams and Blaise's foolish act of bravery.

'It wasn't a very long fight. We found what we were looking for and fought to protect it. My father threw a particularly nasty curse my way but Blaise ran into it. Finally it was winding down. I found myself with Voldemort's best in front of me, about to complete the mission I couldn't. I did what I had to do to make sure that didn't happen. I couldn't Lose -,' Draco stopped himself before he said too much. He cleared his throat and finally looked away from Remus, his eyes falling back to the floor. 'So I killed him. A knife right to the heart through his back. Dropped as though I had hit him with Avada. But, with a knife there is blood…so much blood. But he didn't get to finish his mission. I had stopped him. I had killed Voldemort's best.'

Draco was breathing heavily in memory and the silence of the room made his breath sound so much louder. He noticed the frayed ends of the carpet below him and wondered distractedly how old it was.

'Who was it?' asked Ginny quietly. His eyes flew up and met Hermione's. He saw understanding there. She knew who he had killed. She knew most of it now. He couldn't look at the pain and sadness he saw there. His eyes traveled over to Ginny's. She smiled softly at him. 'Who did you kill, Draco?'

'My father,' Draco heard himself say. From outside his body he heard Ginny gasp and saw Potter clutching the arms of his chair till his knuckles turned white.

'Draco,' Hermione whispered and rose to take a step towards him.

Draco stepped back from her, not wanting to be in this room with this horrible fire. He wished he was far away.

'Lucius would have killed many that night if Draco hadn't done what he did. He tried to kill Draco as well. He did what he had to,' Remus said, his voice hollow. Draco knew what he was remembering, knew it to the very core of his being. But the Dark Lord himself could not force Draco to tell them that memory. No, some things about that night had to remain hidden.

'You pissed him off,' Harry muttered from his chair, his eyes focused hard on Draco.

'What?' Draco asked, trying hard not to notice Hermione's outstretched hand. Fred had stepped over to her.

'Voldemort. I remember. I woke up that night with so much pain in my scar, it made me sick. I didn't know what had happened till now. You pissed him off. No wonder he wants you dead,' Harry said and Draco couldn't ignore the slight trace of respect he heard in his voice.

'Yes, Potter. He wants me dead, almost as much as he wants you dead. He wants me dead almost as much for my knowledge as for what I am capable of. And now he hopes by springing a trap, he will have the advantage over us. So we have no choice but to spring it. Tomorrow we go to the cemetery and finish this. He wants a fight, well I for one am itching for one. I am sick of running like a lost puppy. He and my father taught me their dark power and knowledge and I think its time to use it. One of you already has ended up dead. Let's not sit around waiting to see who is next,' Draco said, a fire growing in his eyes.

A hand on his shoulder made him look around. He was met with Fred's smiling face. 'If you remember, we did that exact thing not two days ago. Walked right into a trap. Didn't come out of that whole.'

'Yes, but we didn't know it was a trap. This time we know. Voldemort wants this done as much as we do. He may be afraid of Harry and of me, but he is still arrogant enough to think with enough of his Death Eaters beside him he can't possibly lose. So tomorrow, he will be there waiting, with as many of his followers as he can muster, and we will meet him,' Draco said firmly.

'I'm game,' Harry said as though he were agreeing to a weekend in Hogsmeade.

'We have to tell Dumbledore,' Hermione said, her eyes locked sadly on Harry. 'We have to tell the Order.'

'I'll go. Mum won't be happy with this plan, but count me in. Going to die sometime. May as well do it avenging my brother's death,' Bill said strongly as he rose from the couch.

'I agree. I was with you at the beginning of this, Draco. If this is to be the end, then I will be there also,' Remus said softly as he moved Ginny so he could stand. Draco noticed her grasping Remus' hand as though it were a lifeline. 'I better go with you, Bill. There is going to be a lot of negative reaction to this plan.'

Bill nodded and turned to gaze at his sister. 'And you, Ginny? What will you do? I don't think I could stop you if you chose to go, though I would feel better knowing you were safe at home,' Bill said truthfully.

'Everyone I love is going to be out there tomorrow,' Ginny said very softly, standing slowly. 'Ron would be there if he were here now. Someone needs to take his place.'

Bill stepped forward and enveloped his sister in a hug. He towered over her petite form and Draco watched Fred walk over to his siblings. He stopped short of their embracing figures, his body stiff.

'I don't want you there, Ginny. I can't lose anyone else. Especially not you,' Fred said, his voice wavering. As Ginny opened her mouth to protest, he held up his hand for silence. 'But you are my sister through and through and I taught you too well. You are to stay close to one of us at all times.' Fred paused, the silence hanging heavy. 'You are to bring us back if we fall.' Ginny choked back a sob and nodded solemnly. Draco was surprised to see such control over her emotions. She was an amazing creature, the littlest Weasley.

'Let's go. Better to get it over with now, Remus,' Bill said, shooting his brother a look of reassurance and stepping away from his sister.

Remus leant over and kissed Ginny softly on the lips. 'We'll be back as soon as we can.'

'Should I come with you?' Harry asked.

Remus regarded him a moment, then shook his head. 'No, Harry. Stay here. Get some rest.'

Harry just nodded and strode slowly over next to Draco to lean over the fire. Draco could see how pale Harry actually was.

Draco watched Remus turn from Ginny and walk toward him. He nodded his head to the corner of the room, motioning for Draco to follow, and met him there.

'When are you going to tell her the rest? When are you going to tell her what truly happened?' Remus whispered, his hand gripping Draco's arm.

'Soon, Remus, soon,' Draco said very softly.

'Look, Draco, I know it is painful and difficult, but with tomorrow's events…we may not…you might not get another chance to tell her, her part in all of this,' Remus whispered his hand squeezing tighter. 'You might not get another chance to tell her how you feel.' Draco's eyes snapped up to meet the werewolf's. 'She deserves to know it all. You deserve the freedom of that.'

With one last squeeze Remus turned and walked to Bill. Bill nodded at Hermione and Fred then turned and walked to the kitchen, Remus right behind him. A second later Draco heard two distinct pops.

The rest of the evening passed in relative silence. Hermione had sat in the chair previously occupied by Potter. Draco could tell she was reviewing the story he had told them. She would occasionally glance at Draco with a confused look on her face. Draco had played a rather distracted game of chess with Fred. Harry had moved from the loveseat to the floor and eventually lay sprawled on the carpet. Draco hadn't known if he was asleep or awake. Ginny made sandwiches for their dinner. And all had watched the time go by slowly.

Eventually evening had come and Draco wandered to his temporary bedroom. He lay on the bed for an hour or so but the heat from the fire and the thoughts in his mind made him get up pace the room impatiently. Eventually he shed his clothes as and prepared for bed, standing in front of the fire wondering how things had come to this.

'They're back. Bill and Remus,' Hermione's voice suddenly came from the doorway. Draco turned from his place watching the fire and took in her appearance. His felt his body go stiff of the sight of her before him, outlined in the doorway. She must have been in bed because her hair was messier than usual. She wore a small top and even smaller shorts and Draco found himself wishing he had woken up to that this morning as opposed to a half naked Harry.

He watched as her eyes took in his appearance and felt the temperature of the room go up several degrees. 'Nice shorts,' Hermione said through a small laughs. Draco glanced down to his only article of clothing he was wearing. He watched as the sheep on his shorts jumped over random fences.

'Yes well, had to borrow a pair from Potter,' Draco grumbled, his eyes daring her to comment. She laughed softly and entered the room fully, closing the door behind her. Her eyes suddenly hardened.

'It was me wasn't it, the mission? You were meant to kill me,' Hermione declared. It was more a statement than a question. Draco took a step towards her then stopped. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily.

'Yes', he answered.

'And your father, he was ordered to kill me as well?' she asked.

'Yes,' Draco said, his eyes never leaving hers. He wouldn't back down now.

'Who do you think killed Ron?' Hermione asked.

Draco opened his mouth then paused at her sudden change of subject. 'What?' he asked, unsure if he had heard her correctly.

'Who do you think killed Ron? Do you think he will be there tomorrow?' she asked again, her voice soft and almost lost in thought.

'I would imagine he will be. Listen, Hermione, about tomorrow…maybe-' Draco began but was cut off.

'Don't you dare say I shouldn't be there. You, Harry, Ginny, everyone else gets to fight and die for who they care about, for who they love,' she said firmly, emphasizing her words as her eyes bore into his. 'I will not sit by while they do battle. I will fight for who I love, Draco Malfoy, don't you try and stop me.'

He had crossed the room before he knew what he was doing suddenly slammed her into the wall behind them, his lips crushing hers in a kiss unlike all their others. This was desperate, passionate, needy, soft, ablaze, heart stopping. God she tasted good was the only thought running through Draco's mind as his tongue explored the caverns of her hot, wet mouth.

He needed this, needed to be consumed in her. He had waited and wanted for too long. What surprised him was the passion with which she matched his own. Never in his wildest fantasies, and he had had a few, did he imagine it would feel this good. He was shocked out of his thoughts as Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist, causing his hips to push intimately into hers. He could feel the warmth and wetness of her through their clothes. He moaned into her mouth and she tightened her grip in his hair.

It was hot, the heat from the fire scalding their bodies, the heat from their desire encouraging their need.

Draco allowed his hand to travel from her waist up to brush the side of her breast and was pleased when he felt her shudder. He couldn't help the smile that attempted to form on his busy lips. He was forced to suddenly brace himself on the wall behind her with both hands as her nails raked a path down his bare chest. He tore his mouth away from hers as her fingers dipped into the top of his boxers. His eyes latched onto hers and he forced himself to keep her gaze as she trailed a path of fire over the tip of his penis with her nails.

'Hermione,' he moaned a hint of question in his voice.

'Shut up, Draco. I will not let you get out of this. I will not die with regrets,' she whispered against his lips, her eyes staring straight into his, lit with passion and desire.

'I will not let anything happen to you tomorrow,' he assured her fiercely and brought his hands to cup her face.

'No one can guarantee anything in this life, Draco. Except that we are all going to die. If that time is tomorrow, for either of us, let it be for a reason and without regret,' she said as she brought her hands up to stroke his face.

'You were always my reason, Hermione,' he whispered and kissed the side of her mouth.

'I know that finally. Now be mine,' she said it so softly he barely heard her, but Draco needed no further encouragement. He grasped her bottom firmly with both hands and turned away from the wall holding her tightly against him and carried her to the bed. He lay her down and crawled on top of her, peppering feverish kisses along her body as he went.

(_end flashback_)

Which was how he had ended up buried deeper in her than he thought possible, with her thrusting against him with wild abandon as if there were no tomorrow. He didn't stop to think that there might not be. He ached to taste her, touch her, kiss her. He wanted to consume her. He had never wanted anything more in his life. Her body met every thrust of his and his head spun as though she were a drug he couldn't live without. Her panting in his ear sent shivers down his sweat soaked spine. He tried his best to control himself but the sight of her moving beneath him, her swollen breasts bouncing deliciously before his mouth, and her moans sent him over the edge.

A moan ripped from his throat and he buried his face in her hair. Just as he was regaining his senses he felt her inner muscles pulse and suddenly Hermione was arching against him screaming his name.

He propped himself up on his elbow and watched as she came down from her orgasm. 'You are so beautiful,' he said as he stroked the side of her face. Her eyes opened and met his. His breath caught at what he saw there.

'You make me feel beautiful, Draco. And that is something I can never properly thank you for. But if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my time here in this world trying,' she said, her voice deep and serious.

Draco froze and stared down at her in wonder. He had understood her offering her body to him. But this? Could she really be saying she was willing to try and love him?

Silence stretched between them as they simply stared at each other until a loud banging was heard from the door.

'Next time cast a bloody silencing charm!' came Fred's angry shout from the hallway.

'Where the hell am I meant to sleep now?' followed Harry's annoyed query.

Draco chuckled lightly into her ear as he buried his head in her hair. Hermione felt the rumble of his chest and sighed. Draco picked his head up and looked down at her closely. 'Do you want to sleep now?' he asked softly.

'Sleep? When we can keep them up all night?' she replied with a laugh.

He stared down at her smiling face, his eyes darkening. 'I love you, Hermione,' he said, his voice strong and even.

'I know,' Hermione whispered into his lips, her hands winding themselves in his soft hair.

* * *

**Love, Ally**

**'Its like I can't breathe  
Its like I can't see anything  
Nothing but you  
I'm addicted to you'  
-Kelly Clarkson**


	24. We Band of Brothers

**Title: We Band of Brothers**

**Author: Hafthand (Ally)**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: A look at our heroes**

**Shout out the the 3keys ladies! Love you all.**

* * *

Fred sat on the floor, his back leaning against the cold, hard wall behind him. His feet lay sprawled before him and his whole body was still. The fire's reflection flickered in his eyes; the only movement other than his breathing. Flashes of thoughts and memories flew through his head but he paid them no mind. The darkness of the flat around him was pressing down upon him. The world was pushing down upon him. He let his mind drift through the place found between consciousness and dreams. What he saw there frightened him to his very being, but he moved past it. He had seen death before. This one wasn't any different.

A log cracking in the fire pulled him dizzily from his vision and he sat still as the room threatened to turn upside down on him. A sharp, dull pain began to form behind his eyes. It was never wise to be torn from it that way. He would have one hell of a headache for the rest of the night. Not like he planned on sleeping anyway. And from the sounds of the other occupants of the flat, it didn't appear any would be getting much sleep. It seemed adrenaline would be driving them towards death, blood, and glory tomorrow. Adrenaline and hope.

Fred felt a sigh escape his chest, he shifted his weight slightly trying to find a more comfortable position, glancing toward the couch and wondering how Bill could possibly sleep at a time like this. The fact that their little sister was most likely having…relations with a werewolf not 10 meters away should have been enough to keep the older Weasley awake, as if the thought of taking on scores of Death Eaters wouldn't.

Casting his eyes back to the fire, Fred reckoned it was going to be a very long night. The longest ever.

* * *

Bill listened to his younger brother sigh and heard him shifting slightly. Bill had begun to think Fred had fallen asleep; he had been so still and so silent. Keeping his eyes still firmly closed and his breathing even, Bill tried unsuccessfully to block out his mother's words from earlier tonight. He had been positive that she would have tried to stop them from going, to stop any more of her children from dying. He had been surprised when she had turned red eyes to him and kissed him softly on his left cheek. 'You come back to us, you hear me. You come back. And if you can't, you get someone to carry you back to us. Same goes for Fred and Ginny. You bring them back, no matter what.'

He resisted the urge to shiver, her words driving into the very core of his soul. He had always known his mother to be a strong and comforting woman, but her words last night had shown her to be a true warrior. She knew the odds were stacked against anyone returning, but she also knew what had to be done. All she wanted was one last look upon their faces, one final caress of a cheek, or the last motherly act of smoothing away a stray lock of hair should they fall.

She wanted to be able to bury her children, to honour them as she had honored Ron. And then, when she was alone in her room, or the kitchen, only then would she weep. And when his father would arrive from work and gather her in his arms, only then would she break.

Bill would do all he could to see that his mother would not have to endure that heartache.

But, if the worst should befall them, he would make sure her request was fulfilled. Of that, he vowed.

Bill squeezed his eyes shut against the thoughts flooding over him, trying to push away the deep longing for his mother's comforting embrace. He had a job to do in a few hours. He could savor the comfort of his mum upon his return. For now he had blood to protect and blood to avenge. He would find Ron's executioner. There were no doubts. He would find the wizard or witch who had tortured his youngest brother until he screamed for mercy and then passed out from the pain. He would find his brother's reaper and make them pay.

The question of what was wrong or right didn't matter anymore.

All that mattered was revenge.

A noise from down the hallway drew Bill away from his dark thoughts and he attempted to settle his tired body deeper into the couch. Now if only he could resist the urge to go down the hallway and open the second door on the left and make his little sister sleep on the couch then he would be able to settle down for the evening. Bill tried not to laugh at his overprotective nature. Remus would keep her safe. Bill didn't doubt that. There was little Bill doubted.

* * *

'Do you think I would have made a beautiful bride?' Ginny asked. She picked her head off of Remus' chest and met his dark, haunted eyes. She felt his grip around her naked body tighten at her words.

'Why do you say it like that, Gin? Why do you say it as if you are already dead?' Remus growled out, his eyes flaming orange for a second as he fought the urge to lock this precious girl away and keep her hidden from the fighting so close at hand.

Ginny smiled softly at him and ran a finger slowly down his scarred face. 'Don't be angry with me, Remus. I am a realist, always have been. I would prefer to go into battle tomorrow thinking I am already dead, I will fight harder,' she whispered softly to him, 'fight harder to come back to life. To be with you.'

'I won't let you die,' Remus said firmly bringing up a hand to tangle in her red hair.

'Words. Words and promises. They are just words. I wish words and promises were enough to save us all, but they aren't. Skill and luck will be the only saviors tomorrow,' Ginny said firmly, quietly as she raised herself and settled next to him so their eyes were even.

Remus couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face at her courage. 'Had I half your wisdom and strength, my dear Ginerva, I would have led a very different life,' Remus commented sadly.

'Then be glad I have enough for both of us. I would hate to think what I would have done had I never met you,' she whispered seductively in his ear, her hot breath sending shivers down his spine.

He placed a soft, tender kiss on her swollen lips. 'Yes,' Remus agreed tenderly.

She looked at him in question. 'Yes what?' she asked.

'Yes, you will make a beautiful bride,' Remus whispered. He watched the smile spread across her angelic face and felt his heart quicken in his chest.

'You are mine, Remus Lupin. For as long as we are here, you are mine,' Ginny sighed before sending her lips crashing into his.

* * *

'No more running,' Hermione stated. She would not make it a question. There was no turning back now.

Draco stared into her brown eyes and wondered why he had ever considered running in the first place. 'No more running,' he agreed.

She smiled quickly before saying, 'Are you sure this isn't the copious amounts of sex talking?'

Draco let himself laugh softly, tightening his embrace around her slim figure. 'It isn't just the sex talking. Though it does help that the aforementioned sex was amazing. Helps sway me towards your side,' he replied, trying his best to stay serious. Just then some clouds shifted and the moon cast a pale sliver glow upon Hermione's body and his breath caught in his throat as he stared at her.

He tried not to think about how this might be the last night he would be able to hold her, the only night he _let_ himself finally hold her, touch her…But the thoughts pushed through as he took in her classic beauty. He could tell by her expression that she knew what he was thinking. She gave him a sad smile and brought her hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes at the gentle touch of her skin.

'Stop thinking,' she whispered.

He nodded his head slightly and promised himself he would not think about the past, or the fact that tomorrow might be the end of everything, or how he had wasted so much time running because he had been afraid of seeing rejection in her eyes. He would not think of Voldemort and the trap he was preparing to spring. He just wanted to continue holding her and pretending they didn't live in a world where children were the major players in a war. He wanted to continue dreaming that men like him could find peace and happiness; no, no, more than just finding it, but where they could _keep_ it. He wanted to forget everything but the moon and what it did to her skin.

Suddenly she forced his head up till his eyes were locked with hers. 'You told me earlier that you loved me, Draco Malfoy. You don't get to disappear now. You don't get to die,' she said firmly before bringing her lips to his in the sweetest kiss he had ever had in his life.

They both tried to ignore the feeling that that kiss was good-bye.

* * *

Harry sat wrapped in a quilt; his knees drawn under his chin. He ignored the shower curtain with its floating squid. He ignored the constant dripping from the bath faucet in front of him. He ignored the cold tile of the bathtub that threatened to seep through the quilt and into his bones. He rested his head against the tile wall behind him and looked over the rim of the tub into the mirror on the other side of the bathroom.

He stared into his own reflection and tried not to notice his father's hair, his mother's eyes, or his enemy's scar.

He stared into his reflection and tried to see himself, Harry Potter.

He didn't want to see The-Boy-Who-Lived. He didn't want to see a wizard. He didn't want to see a hero. For once, just once, before the final end he wanted to see himself without the accolades and badges of honour. He wanted to know who he was before he met evil face to face for the last time.

Who was he?

What made him so goddamned special?

Why was it his destiny to be the hero, the savior, the fucking white knight? Harry allowed a cracked laugh to escape his dry throat at that last question. He knew the answer to that, at least. It was Voldemort's fault. Big, bad Voldy had singled him out. Marked him as his equal and destroyed any chance Harry had had of being normal.

Normal. What a funny, unimpressive, wonderful word that was.

Harry barely remembered what if felt like, but he _had_ been normal, once. Living with the Dursley's had been hell, but he had been normal. He watched his own eyes brighten with that simple realization. Yes, so simple. That's who he was. He was an orphan, an unwanted ward, a little boy shut away in a closet. Harry sighed in relief. He knew who he was now. He knew where he had come from and it made where he was going easier to handle. He had been alone and friendless for the first eleven years of his life. For the past eight he had been a hero, a chosen one. He had had no choice in either, yet he coveted the knowledge and strength that both had given him.

Harry slid down further into the tub and turned his gaze away from his reflection with resolution. His mind calming at the understanding and acceptance he had found within himself. He realized now that he was who he was meant to be. He had been an outcast, unloved orphan. Now he was accepted, rich, and adored by the masses.

One could never have existed without the other.

His past grounded him to his present; allowed him to not become jaded and arrogant. He was normal. He just happened to have some extraordinary circumstances. All Harry had ever wanted was to be normal. He realized now he always had been.

A small smile slowly spread onto his face. He could find happiness in this world now, no matter how much bad there seemed to be. Malfoy had been right. There was a darkness that had been lurking since Ron's death, probably longer if he was going to be honest. He had been tempted, ever so slightly, to just let go, give in, disappear and not care anymore. It would have been so easy. But easy had never been something Harry was familiar with.

Thinking of Malfoy brought unwanted thoughts of what he was probably doing to Hermione at this very moment, and he was jealous. Jealous of not only the fact that Malfoy had Hermione in ways he never would, but the fact that Malfoy had anyone at all.

Life seemed not to want to deal him a good hand just yet.

But he could wait. He would wait.

Harry had always been good at waiting. After tomorrow he could wait forever for his life to begin. Besides, he couldn't blame Hermione, nor would he. He knew she loved him in her own way and she was all he had left of a carefree life that seemed to have taken place ages ago. She was his link to innocence. His link to life. He loved her with every fiber of his being. He had accepted long ago that she was not meant to be his and, despite that he wanted her to be happy, especially if the end was near. Everyone deserved that much, especially her.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes, the draft in the tub making him pull the quilt tighter around him. He wondered briefly if he would sleep at all tonight. He wondered if anyone would.

He sighed fearing that morning would come far too soon.

* * *

**A/N: This was a pleasure to write everyone's point of view the night before. Hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know!**

**Thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing! I appreciate it more than you know!**

**Love, Ally**

**'Well goodnight moon  
****I want the sun  
****If it's not here soon  
****I might be done  
****No it won't be too soon 'til I say  
****Goodnight moon'  
****-Shivaree**


	25. He That Sheds His Blood Today

**Chapter 25: He That Sheds His Blood Today**

**Author: Hafthand (Ally)**

**Rating: R**

**Summary: And so it begins…**

**A/N: Ya'll I know it has been ages! Horrible of me I know. YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ CHAPTER 24 AGAIN! It is short after all. Anyways, this is short as well but full of so much. This is the build-up for the next chapter so enjoy!**

**BETA THANKS! Lorett you gem, you doll, you heavenly creature! You are more than a beta. I love you!**

**3 Keys ladies! Love you all to death and don't know where I would be without you!**

**On to the fic……

* * *

**

The battle was hot. Battles were always hot. Blood dripped slowly down Fred's arm as he looked frantically around trying to gather his thoughts and regain his balance. There were screams and flashes of light everywhere. The world spun in a swirl of green and red; pain and blood; roaring and screaming.

Fred drew a deep, gasping breath and the spinning stopped. The world came sharply into focus and his eyes fell upon Neville and a masked Deatheater dueling. He watched as Luna tripped into view barely dodging a spell sent her way from a cackling Deatheater. He'd recognize that maniacal laughter anywhere; it was Bellatrix.

Fred had just enough time to see Neville and Bellatrix turn to each other before he was pushed roughly to the ground.

He struggled to fight free from the figure on top of him only to pull his wand free and come face to face with Bill. 'Damnit, Bill,' he snapped harshly. Bill's eyes opened in surprise and apology but neither had time for explanations as they were both hit hard by a spell and thrown apart from each other.

Fred tumbled along the grassy, bumpy ground and just barely registered the gravestone in front of him before his body slammed full force into it. He heard the sickening crack but had no time to gauge whether it was the stone or his own bones breaking. He was on his feet before the pain in his body could force him into unconsciousness. He spared a swift glance around for Bill but did not see him. Fred didn't have time to search for him, he had to keep moving. Reluctantly, he moved on; he would worry about Bill later.

This morning they had all emerged from their rooms at Remus', solemn and weary. They apparated to Grimmauld Place with almost no conversation, it would seem there were no more words left – the time for action was now upon them. The somber group met up with the rest of the Order who would be joining them. With little ceremony Harry had given them quick, terse commands and then, all too quickly they were here – in this cold, desolate cemetery where many of their friends and colleagues would meet their end. Fred tried not to think about how long ago that had been; he tried not to think about who was already dead.

Fred's face was grave as he crept carefully among the anonymous bodies, steeling his emotions and forcing his eyes onward, not daring to glance down at any of the faces of the lost least he lose his nerve. He allowed a brief moment of worry for the others, his friends and family, hoping they were fairing well as he moved past dueling wizards and witches. He had one target in mind and it was taking far longer than he'd like to make it there. He wondered briefly if he was unconsciously delaying himself; knowing what awaited him on the other side.

No, no, Fred Weasley was no coward, and the three Deatheaters who lay lifeless on the blood-soaked battlefield were grisly testimony to that.

It had never been his intention to kill any of them, and he would never utter the killing curse. Never. The first Deatheater had fallen and broken his neck against a grave; the second he had stunned and the poor sod had caught the end of a killing curse from somewhere to their left; the third Fred had cast Septum Sempra knowing full well the man would bleed to death should he not find help. Three dead and still there were a dozen or more running around hunting the Order's small numbers.

His thoughts were again interrupted by a flash of yellow light to his left. He watched in horror as his sister crawled from the forest, her leg at an odd angle, her wand nowhere in sight. Ginny's eyes met his for an instant and he tried to scream out as he saw a Deatheater emerge from the woods behind her, the dark wizard's wand slowly raising to fix on his sister. Ginny's eyes grew wide and Fred could not tear his gaze from hers. He would never make it to her in time.

Suddenly a primal scream ripped through the night and Fred watched, amazed, as a blur streaked past him and hit the Deatheater square in the back with a sickening crunch. He watched as the figure sat upon the fallen wizard and repeatedly punched the man in the face. Ginny had turned to see her saviour but her eyes flew to Fred's, a sort of pleading in them to help her. Fred started to run towards them. He dodged a spell that took out the tree to his right, knocked over a Deatheater who had aimed his wand at Oliver Wood's back, and finally reached his fallen sister.

'Stop him,' she croaked out, her eyes beginning to glaze over in pain.

Fred turned and approached the enraged wizard still beating an already lifeless body. 'Remus,' Fred said softly, 'Remus, leave off. He's already dead.' But Remus Lupin did not appear to hear him. Fred took a deep breath and ignored the sound of screaming that suddenly came from somewhere off to his left. 'Remus, Ginny needs you.'

Suddenly Remus stopped and turned to face Fred. Fred stepped back at the feral look the older wizard fastened upon him. The beast within seemed to be about to break free. 'Ginny?' Remus growled before his eyes fell to his lover. He scrambled off the bloody corpse and threw himself at the youngest Weasley. 'I saw him hurt you, I saw him try to kill you,' he whispered as he gathered her in his arms and buried his head in her hair.

'Shh, I'm still here, Remus,' she soothed him, wincing at the pain in her leg as he drew her closer to him. Her eyes met Fred's over the top of his head and he could see the clear look of determination there. 'Go,' she mouthed silently to him. Fred hesitated for only a second, his eyes trying to convey his love for her in a single moment. He watched a single tear slip down her face and he forced himself to tear his gaze from her and turn his back on his baby sister. His brain screamed at him to go to her and to take her back to their family, but he couldn't.

He had no time for good-byes.

Fred left them hoping they would survive. He left them alone on the edge of the wood, a battle raging hotly around them. He turned away and ran through the graveyard making his way once more towards the house on the hill. He was coming up upon a small cottage that must have been the groundskeeper's residence before Voldemort had done away with him. As he reached the back of the house a body came flying around the corner and Fred raised his wand, a stunning spell already forming on his lips. He wrenched his arm away violently as he saw who was before him.

'Draco?' he practically screamed. Fred hadn't seen Draco, Hermione or Harry since they had all arrived here in this hell. He had watched them slip to the sides and make their way towards their goal. That was their battle. The battle in the graveyard belonged to the others. They were simply here to buy the three time. He was surprised to see Draco here so close the rest of them.

Draco stood before him, his eyes hard and taking in the dark night around them. 'Fred? That you? Merlin,' Draco said heavily, his wand-tip illuminating suddenly and casting the surrounding area in an eerie glow.

'What the hell are you doing down here, Malfoy? Where are the others?' Fred asked quickly.

'Was hoping you would know. We got separated near the house. Voldemort has it guarded, surprise, surprise. I got side swiped by MacNair and had to double back to avoid getting split in two by the fucking troll they have guarding the back door,' Draco explained hurriedly as they both crept along the side of the small cottage. The bigger house upon the hill came into sight and Fred could just make out flashes of spells somewhere near the front door.

'Well, looks like someone is still up there,' Fred said, praying to whatever gods were still listened that it was Hermione and Harry.

A sudden crash to their left caused them to turn in unison and shoot off stunning spells into the bushes. A high-pitched squeak was followed by a familiar voice. 'Merlin, are you trying to get me killed!' Hermione hissed quietly. Fred let out a sigh of relief at seeing Hermione alive and well as Draco flew to her side, drawing her to him tightly and crushing his mouth down upon hers.

'I feared the worst,' Malfoy whispered, caressing her face gently. His voice trembled and was thick with emotion and Hermione pulled him back to her for another brief, tender kiss. Fred turned away from them then, feeling like an intruder upon their intensely intimate reunion. He moved a few steps away giving the couple privacy and watching the paths warily around them for foes. 'After Potter ran blindly into those Deatheaters I lost track of you. I thought…' his voice trailed off as he buried his face into the softness of her neck and shaking slightly with relief at her being back in his arms.

'Shh, Draco, I'm here. Time for worry later. Fred, oh Merlin Fred, I am so happy to see you,' she said as she pulled away from Draco's embrace and ran to him throwing her petite body into his long arms. With her body pressed against him Fred felt the life and energy from her tiny form flow into his tired soul. He wound his arms tighter around her and inhaled her scent.

'Hermione,' he whispered. He had not realized till he saw her how worried he had been for her, for everyone. He had not allowed himself to think such thoughts.

She pulled from his embrace slowly and he was reluctant to let her go. Hermione was so alive, so vibrant and full of life mid this sea of death. She made things better, gave him hope. He saw her eyes looking up into his soul and he thought that if they were anywhere else she would be crying.

'I hoped you were still…I saw…so many bodies, Fred. So many dead. I tripped over Seamus' body. I saw Lavender fall; I don't know if she is alive or dead. I killed someone, some faceless Deatheater,' she said in a rush as though the reality of her words were too much to handle.

'Hermione,' Draco whispered from behind her. 'Hermione, not now. Remember? Think about it later,' he said soothingly, stroking her shoulder. Fred thought that Malfoy looked as if he wanted to take her and run from this place. He didn't blame him one bit. He certainly wanted to be anywhere but here.

'Where's Harry?' she suddenly asked, as though the past minute had not occurred. Fred envied her strength.

Draco shook his head. 'I thought he was with you.'

'He must still be up there. A pack of trolls wouldn't be able to drive him off,' Fred muttered as he saw a few more spells streaking the night sky, closer to the house than ever now.

'We have to get back up there,' Hermione said. She took two steps towards the path when suddenly a blue flash hit her and she was thrown against the side of the cottage. Fred and Malfoy turned as one toward the source and were met by the sight of Bellatrix.

'Pretty little Mudblood,' she cackled, her wand trained on the two of men. Fred had never been faced with a completely insane person until now. Her eyes were mad. There was no other explanation. He was faced with someone who was utterly and completely mad. A very dangerous person, he decided quickly. As if killing Sirius hadn't already labeled her that. 'Well, well if it isn't Draco Malfoy, my wayward nephew. Such company you keep these days. Cissy would not be pleased if she knew.'

'Don't you dare speak about my mother,' Draco snarled.

'Don't you take that tone with me, boy!' Bellatrix shrieked, her eyes blazing, her wand hand shaking in rage.

'Careful,' Fred muttered to Draco, barely moving his lips, hoping she would not hear.

'My Master is itching to get his hands on you, dear nephew. Almost as much as that Potter boy. Almost,' she said calmly. Fred wondered at her moods. Lightening quick.

'If you don't kill me now, Aunty, I will kill you. Either way, one of us does not walk away from this,' Draco said just as calmly, though Fred could feel the tension in his fellow wizard's body.

'NO!' came the command from behind Bellatrix. Fred's eyes widened as he watched Neville emerge from the black night, his wand and eyes focused solely on Bellatrix. 'No, she doesn't deserve death. It is too good for the likes of her.'

'Neville, she tortured your parents,' Fred said incredulously.

'Longbottom, she deserves nothing but death,' Draco growled, and Fred noticed tiny sparks emitting from the end of his wand. Malfoy was not as calm as he appeared. His eyes kept darting over towards where Hermione had fallen.

'Death is too easy for her, too quick. She deserves an eternity of pain and despair,' Neville growled back. He muttered a spell and Bellatrix's wand was ripped from her hand and ropes sprang from Neville's wand, wrapping tightly around her body.

Her eyes glittered madly and she snarled at the approaching wizard. 'You should kill me, boy; make me scream and squirm like your dear old mummy!'

'Silence!' Neville roared before backhanding her across the face. He leaned forward menacingly and said coldly, 'You don't get to talk about her.' Bellatrix opened her mouth to retort but Neville drew his hand back once more and knocked her into unconsciousness.

Fred was no longer shocked by the actions of those around him but it was apparent from Malfoy's 'humph' of surprise that he was impressed by Neville's ruthlessness.

'Leave her with me. I'll take her back to Hogwarts,' Neville said, rising above the woman. He fixed his eyes on Fred. Draco had already run to Hermione's now stirring body and carried her over to lay her gently next to them. 'Listen, the battle here is winding down.

Most are dead and the remaining Deatheaters are fleeing toward the house.'

'Thanks for the update,' Fred muttered and nodded distractedly as he watched Draco

tend to Hermione. Her eyes fluttered opened and he let out a breath he had not realized he was holding. Suddenly a thought occurred to him and his eyes found Neville's once more. 'Ginny?' he asked.

Neville shrugged and bent back down to make sure Bellatrix was secured. 'Saw Remus carrying her away form the fighting and she seemed to be arguing with him about it, so she seemed all right at the time. Saw Remus a while later though, on his own,' he said, looking at Fred carefully. 'She looked injured so it's more than likely he was taking her to safety.'

Before they could say anymore Bill, Luna, Charlie, Tonks, Mundungus, and Kingsley Shacklebot came running out of the woods towards them.

'Neville, you got her secured tightly?' Kingsley asked as he ran over to the pair.

Fred let his eyes travel over those who had joined them.

'It's done here,' Bill said, gasping for breath. Fred ignored the blood dripping from his brother's left arm. 'The rest have returned to the house.'

'Are you all that's left?' came Hermione's quiet voice. Fred turned to look at her and saw the disbelief in her eyes.

'Yes,' Tonks answered. 'There are a few others who were injured; we brought them back to safety, but we are all that is left,' she said, her voice cracking slightly. A heavy silence fell upon them and the sound of tears hitting the dirt could be hear.

Fred raised his eyes and saw a flash of green up at the house. He looked at those left around him and braced himself. 'We mourn later,' he stated harshly before turning and walking away from them, not daring to see if they followed.

* * *

There was no dignity in death, decided Harry. Your cold, lifeless corpse lying bare and open to the cruel world around it. No dignity. None. No shame, no more mysteries. Just a body. Just a body without a soul. If he were to be honest with himself, he would admit that until learning about the wizarding world, and ghosts, he had never actually believed in souls, never really gave it much thought. 

Now, however, as he stood alone above a lifeless corpse free of its black soul, he had to wonder what would happen to his when all was said and done. He shook his head at the thought and wiped his dirty hands against his jeans. Standing up slowly, shakily, he glanced once more at the body before him and turned away, back towards the front door of the house.

His whole life had been a prelude to this moment; this point in time when he reached to open the door before him. Choices made before he was born by people who wanted nothing more than for him to die had brought him to this point. He looked around him slowly, noting the eerie silence that echoed through the darkness. He noted the absence of life around him and wondered how he had ended up here alone. He wondered if anyone beside himself was even alive. It had been a long time since he had heard or seen any activity from down at the battlefront. He had heard the screams from the graveyard and had clamped down hard at the memories of other screams from this graveyard, years before when he had held his first dead body in his arms.

'No!' Harry growled, focusing his mind and body back on the task before him. It didn't matter that he was alone. He had always known that in the end it would come to this. He would not feel bitter about a truth he had accepted long ago. He took a stabilizing breath and prepared to cross the threshold when he heard the distinct sound of feet coming his way.

He dropped down to a crouch and pointed his wand. He no longer feared killing. He had doled out more death tonight than he had ever thought possible.

As his prey burst into the clearing he choked on a spell and felt a wave of utter relief wash over him. Before him stood what he assumed to be the last of those who had followed him faithfully to battle. He felt his heart seize as he realized he wasn't going to be alone in the end after all. Even if they all died today, his friends, his staunch supporters would follow him faithfully into death as well.

'Harry?' Hermione asked softly as she approached his motionless, crouching figure. He couldn't move, his body was frozen with the absolute elation at seeing Hermione, his eyes wide and drinking her in. He wanted to breathe, to smile, to scream, to reach out and touch her, _anything_, but the sheer joy of having her alive and there right in front of him kept him still and silent. 'Harry,' she repeated, kneeling beside him and reaching out her fingers to wrap gently around his wrist as she lowered his wand arm and looked into his eyes. 'Harry, are you all right?'

He turned his head slightly and returned her searching gaze letting out the breath he had been holding as his eyes traveled past Hermione over to the others. A measured smile began to form on his blood stained face. Fred stood closest to him beside Hermione, looking him over as though to reassure himself Harry was intact. Malfoy was on Hermione's other side looking tired and beat up, but his eyes were full of fire and life. Bill and Charlie were watching Harry too, their brotherly concern for him shining strong. Tonks looked as though she had been rolled in mud and Harry ignored the other spots of colour on her tattered robes. Shacklebolt and Mundugus were alert and observing their surroundings, their eyes passing over Harry to make sure he was indeed okay. Luna and Neville were on guard at the back of the group and as Harry saw them all and realized they were alive he really could not control the smile that broke out on his face. They were still alive. _All of them_. So few, yet enough.

He breathed a sigh of relief and turned to look back at Hermione. 'I won't be alone when I die?' he asked shakily, tears of relief falling from his tired eyes.

He heard Hermione choke on a sob and watched Fred take an involuntary step forward, his hand reaching out as if to grab Harry.

But it was Draco who put an arm to his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly and said with a gentleness that surprised even himself, 'No, mate. No one dies alone tonight.'

Harry nodded and glanced at the door behind him. The time had come then. No more waiting.

No more being afraid.

A feeling of serene calm stole over him as he stood up and squared his shoulders. Harry Potter was ready to meet his fate with a resolve he'd not had mere moments ago. He turned and smiled a genuine, warm smile, his eyes locking with each one of the people in front of him; these men and women that he loved so dearly; friends that he had grown to respect and warriors that he admired. He could not think of any others he would rather have at his side, nor could he ever begin to put to words how grateful he was to have them here with him now, when he needed their support so wholly.

So, he voiced the only thing he thought he could say that would mean anything, speaking in a hushed tone just two words before he turned and marched forward to face Destiny.

His friends all smiled back at the simple, yet profoundly moving words – 'Thank you.'

Nodding slowly,Harry turned and met his fate.

* * *

**A/N: Well? Its really heating up now. Next chapter is a major one for plot! Secrets revealed…bad guys fought…more death…more battle….oh can't wait! Lol**

**Love, Ally**

**'There's no dignity in death  
****To sell the world your last breath'  
****-Robbie Williams 'Advertising Space'**


	26. How to Save a Life Part 1

Chapter 26: How to Save a Life (Part 1)

Author: Hafthand (Ally)

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Do you see a great big mansion in the south of France behind me?...No? Then there is your answer. I don't own Potter.

Summary: The battle in the mansion heats up and the truth of the past is about to be revealed!

**A/N: REREAD CHAPTER 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has been so long I really want ya'll to get a proper feel for this chappie. Which is short YES, but the next 2 chapters are part of a 3 chapter story arc…next bit is already in the works and will be out by Christmas or Accio will kill me!!!**

Also I wrote this while listening to The Fray's 'How to Save a Life'…try listenin to it whilst you read!

BETA THANKS!!! Lorett is a goddess among mere mortals. She is Ophelia, Titania, Calypso…she is the best beta and most patient woman in the world. I love you and hope you are feeling better!!

3 Keys ladies!!! Love you all to death and don't know where I would be without you!!!

On to the fic……

_**Previously on 'A Reason'**_

'_No!' Harry growled, focusing his mind and body back on the task before him. It didn't matter that he was alone. He had always known that in the end it would come to this. He would not feel bitter about a truth he had accepted long ago. He took a stabilizing breath and prepared to cross the threshold when he heard the distinct sound of feet coming his way._

_He dropped down to a crouch and pointed his wand. He no longer feared killing. He had doled out more death tonight than he had ever thought possible. _

_As his prey burst into the clearing he choked on a spell and felt a wave of utter relief wash over him. Before him stood what he assumed to be the last of those who had followed him faithfully to battle. He felt his heart seize as he realized he wasn't going to be alone in the end after all. Even if they all died today, his friends, his staunch supporters would follow him faithfully into death as well._

'_Harry?' Hermione asked softly as she approached his motionless, crouching figure. He couldn't move, his body was frozen with the absolute elation at seeing Hermione, his eyes wide and drinking her in. He wanted to breathe, to smile, to scream, to reach out and touch her, anything, but the sheer joy of having her alive and there right in front of him kept him still and silent. 'Harry,' she repeated, kneeling beside him and reaching out her fingers to wrap gently around his wrist as she lowered his wand arm and looked into his eyes. 'Harry, are you all right?'_

_He turned his head slightly and returned her searching gaze letting out the breath he had been holding as his eyes traveled past Hermione over to the others. A measured smile began to form on his blood stained face. Fred stood closest to him beside Hermione, looking him over as though to reassure himself Harry was intact. Malfoy was on Hermione's other side looking tired and beat up, but his eyes were full of fire and life. Bill and Charlie were watching Harry too, their brotherly concern for him shining strong. Tonks looked as though she had been rolled in mud and Harry ignored the other spots of colour on her tattered robes. Shacklebolt and Mundugus were alert and observing their surroundings, their eyes passing over Harry to make sure he was indeed okay. Luna and Neville were on guard at the back of the group and as Harry saw them all and realized they were alive he really could not control the smile that broke out on his face. They were still alive. All of them. So few, yet enough._

_He breathed a sigh of relief and turned to look back at Hermione. 'I won't be alone when I die?' he asked shakily, tears of relief falling from his tired eyes._

_He heard Hermione choke on a sob and watched Fred take an involuntary step forward, his hand reaching out as if to grab Harry. _

_But it was Draco who put an arm to his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly and said with a gentleness that surprised even himself, 'No, mate. No one dies alone tonight.'_

_Harry nodded and glanced at the door behind him. The time had come then. No more waiting._

_No more being afraid._

_A feeling of serene calm stole over him as he stood up and squared his shoulders. Harry Potter was ready to meet his fate with a resolve he'd not had mere moments ago. He turned and smiled a genuine, warm smile, his eyes locking with each one of the people in front of him; these men and women that he loved so dearly; friends that he had grown to respect and warriors that he admired. He could not think of any others he would rather have at his side, nor could he ever begin to put to words how grateful he was to have them here with him now, when he needed their support so wholly. _

_So, he voiced the only thing he thought he could say that would mean anything, speaking in a hushed tone just two words before he turned and marched forward to face Destiny._

_His friends all smiled back at the simple, yet profoundly moving words – 'Thank you.' _

_He turned and met his fate._

CHAPTER 26: How to Save a Life (Part 1)

Stepping through that door into the awaiting darkness, Fred hadn't felt an ounce of fear. Battling through the hell that had awaited them at the Riddle house had inspired bravery and stupidity, but again, no fear. Facing off against Death Eater after Death Eater and dealing out death just as well as they were, Fred felt cold and dead inside, but no fear. It wasn't until he had come to this moment, this exact spot in the course of this harrowing battle, that Fred felt the first stirring of true fear within his soul. He had just left behind the bodies of friend and foe alike, and had turned the corner in the musty, dank, pitch-black hallway. Ahead he saw a glint, as if on metal, as the light from a spell outside lit up the hallway.

There before him stood Macnair, mask long since having fallen, his black-as-night robes torn and bloody. He was leaning casually against a painting, his long handled axe resting almost peacefully next to him. His face had split into a devilish grin and he had winked at Fred before reaching into his pocket and withdrawing a pair of bloody and battered shackles. 'Been waiting for you, boy,' he had sneered at Fred.

Fred had stared at the shackles dangling from Macnair's gloved hand. All he had seen was the blood caked to the twisted metal. His mind flew back and remembered Ron's bloody and raw wrists.

Anger had welled up and Fred had seen black.

That had been almost half an hour ago and still he was fighting what he knew to be the fight of his life. He was crouched behind the remains of an armoire and could hear the echoes of battle around him. Macnair had disappeared into the side room after Fred's last attack. Sweat fell heavily down his bloody face and Fred allowed himself the freedom to catch his breath and reassess the situation. Blind rage and need for revenge was no longer solely driving him. His rational mind had returned to him when Macnair had hit him with a stunning spell and Fred had broken through the living room wall. Fingering the deep cut on his forehead he heard a sudden shuffle of feet and turned just in time to see Macnair rushing him from the back. He turned and took the brunt of whatever spell had been cast at him in his right arm. Rolling his body he managed to get back to his feet and threw his wand out just as Macnair turned to face him, wand at the ready.

Face to face and back to square one, Fred began to formulate words to speak the proper spells, when it hit him. He flinched as a cold shudder swept down his spine, to his very core and it took all his willpower to keep his eyes open and locked onto his adversary. Not a few seconds later he heard it, the source of the cold. It was ear piercing, glass shattering, and he knew from where it was coming from.

A primal scream like nothing he had ever heard before was ripping through the mansion and its occupants. And as the sound of her scream washed over them and the white blinding light that followed reached Fred, he knew true fear for the first time that night. As the darkness enveloped his falling body, he could only scream out with his mind. He prayed to whatever gods were listening, that tonight he hadn't lost what he now feared he had. He couldn't lose her. None of them could. He heard a soft thud next to him and realized briefly that the white raw energy must have knocked down Macnair as well. 'Oh, Hermione,' Fred managed to whisper, before the force of the energy blocked out the rest of the world. Darkness followed.

* * *

Neville hugged Luna closer to his beaten body and pressed himself further into the tiny recess, hoping they were hidden. As the huge booming drew closer, Neville held his breath, but felt Luna begin to stir in his arms. The blood from her head was dripping onto his arm and he was seized with a sudden fear as she groaned softly, coming out of her concussion. As the huge steps got louder, he buried her head against her shoulder hoping to muffle her groans of pain and closing his eyes against the inevitable. 

His head snapped up as he felt a scream rip through the house and his body. Luna shuddered beneath him and he fought the urge to release her and clamp his hands over his ears. He knew it wouldn't block out the sound though. He felt a tear leak from his eye as he felt the pain encased in that scream. He refused to think about who it could be or why. He refused to dwell on what he didn't know. Suddenly another noise broke through the scream. He brought his eyes back toward the hallway and saw a dark shadow pass over them. 'Oh, Merlin, no,' Neville whispered as he stared into the alien eyes of the massive Troll in front of him.

He gathered Luna tighter against him and whispered into her ear, 'I'm so sorry. I tried.' Raising his wand arm weakly, he prepared to do what he could to delay their death; when a blast of white-hot light barrelled into them with more force that he had ever felt in his life. He desperately clung to Luna and felt a scream rip from his own raw throat. His last thought before overcome with darkness was that he hoped the troll wouldn't land on top of him.

* * *

Harry remained upright though every bone in his body felt as though it was broken. He refused to fall in this fight. He had had enough of showing weakness to the weak. Let them cry out when he injured them, let them faint from pain or be sick. No more. 

He marched along dealing out what needed doing, as he went. He wouldn't dwell on these smaller battles. They did not matter. Nothing but the end mattered.

He heard the voices before he saw them. He reached the end of the corridor and was about to come out on a balcony that overlooked the main foyer of the mansion. He walked quietly hoping to come upon them unawares. As he reached the balcony and crouched behind the banister he froze at what he saw before him. 'No,' escaped his lips before he could stop it. His body was seized with anger, fear, hatred, and repulsion. He stood quickly and as he threw himself over the banister and rushed towards the floor, he prayed that he would be able to forget the scream that was ripping through her body as well as his; if he lived through this, if he even survived his drop.

* * *

Draco would have usually enjoyed the feeling of marble beneath his fingertips and the feel of real leather, and the sight of cavansite, pearl, stone…All the signs of the rich. All the measures of status lay about him in this mansion. But he was focused and running at such a speed, that all these elegances were lost in a blur as he raced towards the sound of her voice. 

He hadn't meant to let Hermione out of his sight, but they had been cornered by five Death Eaters and were forced to split up. He had done what he could to lose or injure the three pursuing him and had finally lost them in the rubble. He had heard her voice a moment before and felt the warmth that always accompanied her, seep into him. But then he had heard _his_ voice as well, and all that warmth had drained out of him and had been immediately replaced with a biting cold shower of fear. 'NO!' he had shouted and without hesitating had started toward their voices.

He was growing closer and suddenly burst through into the massive marble-encased foyer. He tried to stop his forward momentum, but crashed into the baby grand in his path and managed to roll over what was left of it and sprang back to his feet.

He stood breathing heavily taking in the scene before him.

'Ah, Draco, just in time for all to be revealed,' Voldemort hissed at him, never taking his red, slit eyes off of a struggling Hermione. Voldemort had her pinned against the far wall and was towering over her, his arm raised, one long, bony finger pointed menacingly at her forehead.

'Hermione,' was all that Draco managed to get out before the world came crashing down around him. He watched in slow motion as Voldemort lowered his finger toward Hermione's head. He watched as Hermione's eyes started to glaze over and the fight began to leave her body. Draco was vaguely aware of hearing someone shout 'No' from somewhere above him. From the corner of his eye he thought he saw Potter flying from the upstairs balcony. He felt his body react as he took in everything around him. He threw himself against the remains of a sofa next to him and felt as it carried him closer and closer to the falling hero. He had had to make a split second decision. He would never have reached Hermione in time. He could reach Harry though. Draco prayed he could be there in time to catch Harry. As the couch slid across the floor, Draco turned his gaze and saw Voldemort's finger make contact with Hermione's head.

A scream was ripped from her throat and washed over Draco. He felt himself screaming and his head turned with the force of it. His eyes locked onto those of Potter's as Draco only had time to realize that he was directly beneath him and that they had to move fast to stop Hermione from screaming like that when the room exploded in pain and white light. 'Hermione…' Her name echoed through Draco's mind as he felt the pressure surround him and stifle him suddenly from above.

* * *

Hermione struggled to free herself from the ropes, but they only dug deeper. She felt, rather then saw, Voldemort approach her. 

'It's time,' he hissed into her ear. 'It's time, Miss Granger.' Hermione squeezed her eyes shut in revulsion. She knew in this instant that Death had found her.

She tried to force herself to breathe as Voldemort stepped back from her raising his long arm above his head and pointing his finger down at her. His eyes glowed red and she could see the cold hatred burning in them. A sudden movement from the far corner made her heart leap as she watched Draco come running into the room.

Hermione shot her eyes back to Voldemort's. He didn't even turn to acknowledge Draco's presence.

'Ah, Draco, just in time for all to be revealed,' Voldemort hissed at him, his eyes never leaving hers. He leaned forwards slightly and whispered into her ear once more. 'It's time to remember what you've lost.'

And before she could contemplate the meaning behind his words, she was forced to watch as his finger descended toward her. In the distance she thought she heard Draco screaming her name, but as Voldemort's finger drew closer, she felt her body shutting down.

'Time, Miss Granger,' Voldemort whispered manically, seconds before his icy finger made contact with her burning skin and her world exploded.

Hermione felt pain like nothing she had ever experienced rip through her tiny frame. A scream was forcibly ripped from her throat and she felt herself beginning to fall back. Through the pain, flashes of memory replayed themselves over and over in her mind and she spiralled into a deep darkness. Hermione felt herself scream as she slipped further away.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to everyone still reading this. I know I take a while to update, but the next bit is already half written as this is really a 3 part giant chapter! Drawing near the end!!! 

Love, Ally

'Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life'


	27. How To Save a Life Part 2

Chapter 27: How to Save a Life (Part 2)

Author: Ally (Hafthand)

Rating: M

Disclaimer: yeah, Rowling like bowling owns them.

A/N: Here it is folks! A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY BETA LORETT! You are amazing…simply amazing.

Three keys ladies…I love you all!

Previously on A Reason:

'_Ah, Draco, just in time for all to be revealed,' Voldemort hissed at him, his eyes never leaving hers. He leaned forwards slightly and whispered into her ear once more. 'It's time to remember what you've lost.'_

_And before she could contemplate the meaning behind his words, she was forced to watch as his finger descended toward her. In the distance she thought she heard Draco screaming her name, but as Voldemort's finger drew closer, she felt her body shutting down._

'_Time, Miss Granger,' Voldemort whispered manically, seconds before his icy finger made contact with her burning skin and her world exploded._

_Hermione felt pain like nothing she had ever experienced rip through her tiny frame. A scream was forcibly ripped from her throat and she felt herself beginning to fall back. Through the pain, flashes of memory replayed themselves over and over in her mind and she spiralled into a deep darkness. Hermione felt herself scream as she slipped further away.

* * *

_

Chapter 27: How to Save a Life (part 2)

Hermione felt herself falling backwards through her mind. Flashes of memories flew by her so quickly she was only able to discern that they were indeed hers. She felt pain like she had never experienced in her life. She was no stranger to the concept of pain; having been kidnapped several times, but this was indescribable. It wasn't a physical pain; it would leave no scar. Instead it felt as though her mind was being forcibly ripped open and rearranged until it would inevitably fall back, painfully, into place. Through the haze, Hermione figured that was in fact what was happening to her. Voldemort had said it was time to remember what she lost. Merlin, what was happening? She tried to cry out, but she had no form, no voice.

Suddenly the memories flowing around her began to pulse and she had the impression that she was hurtling towards a great blackness in her mind. She tried to fight it, not knowing why, but fearing it nonetheless. A vast abyss began to form and the blackness was terrifying. She felt herself being drawn faster into it. Suddenly her mind exploded in white light. She wanted to laugh at what she had previously thought pain was. If this wasn't dying, Hermione was pretty sure she would rather experience that than the feelings coursing through her at this very moment.

'**It's time to remember what you've lost.' **The words screamed through her mind and suddenly the blackness exploded into vivid colours and shapes. Hermione felt herself remembering….

* * *

FLASH 

Hermione made her way through the snow back to Hogwarts. She attempted to juggle the packages she had just bought from Hogsmeade and smiled slightly at the thought of Harry and Ron waiting back at the castle. Christmas had come upon her so quickly, she felt as though the days and weeks were rushing past her and she couldn't quite catch up.

She let out a sigh and tried to push back the feeling of depression that threatened to overtake her. She would not do this now. She had promised herself that she would enjoy her last Christmas at Hogwarts.

Hermione pushed her hair out of her face and back under her knit hat and looked up at the cloudy sky. Sighing once more, she collected herself and started forwards once again only to freeze at the sight before her. Making his way down the path quickly, being covered in snow, was Draco Malfoy. Her mind flew back to their encounter in the library just weeks before.

_He moved his head forward slightly till his mouth brushed her ear. "You would like that wouldn't you, Granger? For things to be black and white, good and evil, wrong and right. It would make your world easier to live in, wouldn't it? Well let me tell you something princess; this world is a fucked up place and nothing will ever go the way you want it to," he said harshly. Draco leaned his head against hers. His cheek softly resting against hers; his lips still at her ear. _

"Life is hard, Hermione, so get used to it. You chose the crowd you hang out with; you knew what would be expected of you, so don't you dare sit there in self-loathing and pity. This was your choice, your choice to fight. Your choice to live this life, just like it was your choice to die not so long ago." She gasped at his words.

"What gave you the right to give up, huh? Life got a bit hard so you decided to take the coward's way out?" he whispered harshly in her ear.

_"Wouldn't that make you happy, Malfoy? Wouldn't that make your life easier? The mudblood gone. Wouldn't that have made daddy proud?" she asked bitterly. Malfoy's body stiffened slightly at the mention of his father. He pulled his face back slightly till he was looking her in the eye again. _

"Granger, don't you ever talk about him. He would kill you in a second if he knew," he whispered, letting a finger slowly caress the side of her face.

"Knew what?" she asked confused. Malfoy pushed himself away from her gasping for air. She didn't move, just watched him curiously.

"Damnit, Granger!" Malfoy said running his hands roughly through his blond _hair. "Why now? Why now? It's been two years since I pinned you to that wall. Why are you suddenly so interested in why I didn't finish the job, why I don't call you names anymore, why I respect you?" _

"It was time to ask," she said simply, as though clearing up all the questions in his head. "You aren't what you are supposed to be any more, Malfoy. You haven't been since you tried to kill me; since I almost let you."

"Yeah, well you haven't been the same either," Draco said. He reached down and picked up his bag, throwing it over his shoulder he turned away from her. Draco stopped, but didn't turn to face her, turning his head slightly and adding, "Listen, what I do, and how I choose to act is my business. Don't go sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, you'll just get hurt. And I think you have been hurt enough over the past years, Granger. I think you have had just about all you can handle."

Hermione brought herself back to the present and shivered as the cold once again invaded her consciousness. She hadn't really seen much of him since their encounter in the library. She noticed that Draco had drawn nearer and his eyes were locked onto her. Hermione couldn't read anything in them and was puzzled by the feelings of confusion growing inside of her in the presence of this boy.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she failed to see the tree root in her path and fell forwards into the cold snow, her packages flying from her grasp.

'Should pay a bit more attention, Granger,' came Draco's calm, soft voice. She looked up and found him crouching next to her, his arms gathering her packages in front of them. He looked almost as though he were about to smile at her, but caught himself. His eyes quickly scanned the area around them before he reached his hand out to her. She accepted it and allowed his strength to pull her up. As she stood she felt his cold, hard hand on her cheek as he slowly brushed snow from her face. Her eyes darted to meet his. He simply looked back.

She smiled a soft smile that didn't quite meet her eyes before she said, 'Thank you, Malfoy.' He nodded and knelt down to pick up her packages. He stood back up and deposited them into her waiting arms and standing before her for a moment longer than was necessary.

'Be more careful next time. I might not always be around to pick you up.He smirked as his hand once more came to rest on her cheek, before he quickly turned from her and continued on to Hogsmeade.

Hermione watched him for a moment longer, shaking her hair to get rid of the snow before turning and continuing on her way. She felt a pit in her stomach and forced herself to ignore the implications of it. She had Christmas presents to wrap and Crookshanks to feed.

Before Hermione could gather her thoughts, her world went black as she felt something cover her head and bodies pulling her backwards. _'Oh, Merlin, not again,'_ her mind screamed as she felt her attackers drag her away. She thought she heard a yell and a small explosion from the distance, before her head erupted in pain and her world melted away.

* * *

Hermione felt herself crash back into her mind and tried to scream at this new found memory. Merlin, what was she remembering? She had never lived this, had she? Before she could gain her bearings in the sea of flashes around her, she felt herself being pulled once more into the abyss of swirling colours before her.

* * *

FLASH 

Hermione heard shouting around her and for a moment she wondered where she was. It seemed as if her senses registered it all at once: the hardness of the floor beneath her, the ache in her head, the ropes digging into her wrists behind her back, and the dull throbbing of her right ankle caused her to open her eyes with a start. She knew what she would see and was, unfortunately, not disappointed. She was once again in Malfoy Manor, only this time she was not a scared fifteen-year-old witch. Her thoughts were interrupted as Draco Malfoy was suddenly thrown onto the floor in front of her.

She looked behind her and saw Lucius Malfoy in all his imperial glory. It always amazed her that a man so terrifying, so evil, so full of hate, could look so angelic, so peaceful. She knew underneath was a volcano waiting to erupt, but on the surface he was utter calm and elegance. She envied him his control.

He smiled down at her with the smile of a snake. 'Ah, you are awake, Miss Granger. How nice to see you again,' he said smoothly, bowing slightly to mock her. She heard laughter and turned slightly to take in the shapes of several other people in the massive entrance hallway.

'You did well, now go prepare the chambers below,' Lucius ordered, his eyes drifting away from Hermione toward the now struggling Draco. The henchman slid from the room quietly. 'Ah, son. How nice of you to join us.'

Hermione turned back to Draco and saw him struggling to stand up. She could see blood dripping from the corner of his mouth and saw him wince as he pushed himself upright. 'Father,' Draco croaked out through the obvious pain. His eyes suddenly saw Hermione and she watched as he froze, his eyes widening momentarily, before he transformed once more into the Malfoy calm.

Hermione closed her eyes briefly and tried to think where her wand could be, but knew that they would have confiscated that. Just because they were evil did not make them stupid. Her hair was suddenly yanked back and her eyes flew open in pain, her mouth opening in a soundless cry.

'Well, well. You may be wondering why I have brought you here, Miss Granger. Why I have taken you once more,' Lucius said into her ear. She tried to shift away from him but he threw her back onto the floor before sending a kick into her stomach. She heard Draco shout, before the pain made her double over as best she could in her restraints.

'It should be I who is ashamed to touch you, Miss Granger. Never forget that,' Lucius said calmly over her. Hermione saw his wand pointed at Draco, and noticed how still Draco was. His eyes were screaming at her and she wanted to figure out why but she couldn't concentrate. Lucius probably cracked one of her ribs if the pain was any indication.

'Now, I have to say, it is ridiculously easy to kidnap you. Really, you should be embarrassed by the ease in which I was able to,' Lucius said. He reached forward, his other arm still trained on Draco, and grabbed the front of Hermione's shirt. He tugged and with a strength she would not have guessed he possessed, picked her up from the floor.

'Father, what's going on?' Draco suddenly asked, his voice calm, though his eyes gave away his confusion. Hermione was amazed at his restraint. Had the situation been reversed, she would have been a hell of a lot more vocal.

Lucius set her on her feet before him and she watched him smile it was twisted, emotionless when he looked at Draco. 'Our lord calls and we answer, son. You would know this if you were faithful.'

'Father, I…' Draco started.

'Do not lie to me!' Lucius shouted, showing cracks in his perfectly calm exterior. Hermione tried to shuffle back without being noticed, but he was too quick. She felt herself flying back as his hand connected to her face. She screamed out in pain as she landed on her bound hands. Tears began to burn paths from her eyes.

'Do not lie to me,' Lucius hissed out again. Hermione shuddered and forced her eyes back open. Draco was staring at her, his hand half reaching out towards her. The pain in her chest and her hand was too much and she felt the blackness beginning to creep up on her. She forced herself to shake her head and found within herself the strength to push the pain away.

'I will not let all my plans for you go to waste because of some worthless mudblood. I have given too much, manipulated too many, for a future that you are now willing to throw away over emotion. I thought I taught you better,' Lucius growled as he advanced upon his son. Draco stood tall and didn't back down.

Hermione tried to sort out what was happening. She knew Draco had been different this past year, and more so these past few months, but she hadn't really considered that he had turned his back so completely on his father and the life set out before him. Being faced with the reality of his betrayal and how dangerous it was for him to do so was like being kicked in the gut all over again.

'No!' she croaked. 'I won't let you get away with this again,' Hermione said, her voice gaining in strength. After what he had done to her the last time, she wasn't about to just lie down and take it.

Lucius whipped his head around to face her, the hardness of his eyes blasting into hers. He pointed his wand at her and muttered a spell too low for her to hear. It took all her willpower not to cry out, as her body was ripped open in several places. She kept her eyes locked onto Lucius' and let all the hatred and anger she had ever felt in her spill out.

That only proved to amuse him. 'Gained a spine since the last time, I see. Should make this all so much more enjoyable.' He grinned devilishly and Hermione cringed at the face that had haunted her dreams for so long.

'What does Voldemort want with her?' Draco suddenly asked, breaking Lucius' gaze.

'Do you see that, Miss Granger? The concern he has for you is endearing, is it not?' Lucius asked walking back to his son and circling around him slowly. 'I do not know who he gets it from. Must be his mother. She always did hold a soft spot for him in her cold, frigid body.' Draco's fists clenched and his anger seemed ready to boil over.

'The Dark Lord has his plans for the both of you; feel secure in knowing that your fates are intertwined. I would not wish to part you from your beloved at this point, Draco,' Lucius said, now standing directly above Hermione. At his words, she felt surprise rise within her and her eyes flew to Draco's.

'Beloved?' she whispered, not realizing she had spoken out loud.

Lucius laughed and knelt down above her, his hand beginning to caress her bloody hair.

'He loves you, you silly little girl,' Lucius spat out at her. His fingers yanked her hair back but Hermione forced her eyes to find Draco's. She saw the raw anger and passion there and her mind reeled back to their few encounters.

'My son, a Malfoy. Purest of the pure, has fallen in love with a mudblood,' Lucius's words flowed from his mouth in a way that only good breeding can produce. Melted butter and sticky honey coated his words and almost hid the utter disappointment as he focused on his one and only son.

'He can't love me,' Hermione managed to croak out. Lucius' grip on her hair tightened and she tried not to wince. Her eyes locked on Draco's. 'He hates me,' she whispered, tears starting to form, burning with the truth she was trying to deny.

It was all too much for her, for him, for all of them. 'No,' she whispered again, closing her eyes as she saw Draco fall to his knees, his head falling into his hands. She felt rather than heard Lucius begin to chuckle. It was a horrible feeling, and she fought the urge to gag.

'Tell her, Draco. Tell her how you feel. It makes no difference now; it is over. She will die at my hand when Lord Voldemort is through with her. Your fate however, is still in question, my son. So tell her,' Lucius purred in Hermione's ear. Suddenly she was lifted from the floor and thrown across the room at Draco like a sack of potatoes. He managed to reach up and stop her forward momentum, but she landed roughly on the floor in front of his kneeling figure. He looked down at her broken and bleeding body, his eyes shining with anger, tears, fear, hate, sadness… The list was endless.

'She is there in front of you, Draco. Here is your chance. All the life that will have gone to waste at the end of all this simply because of a dirty girl,' Lucius taunted them as he circled their stooped figures, as a hawk circles his prey. 'Tell her, _son_,' he practically spit the word out.

Hermione watched the battle raging inside of Draco and her heart wrenched at the sight. He reached down and touched her cut cheek, his cold hand sending shivers along her tired body. 'Hermione,' he whispered, she thought he looked weary and resigned.

'That's it, boy. Tell her,' Lucius was still circling them, his boots ringing against the marble floor. Still Draco kept his peace. Hermione could see the anger beginning to boil over in Lucius; could hear it in his step. 'TELL HER!' Lucius shouted, his echo reverberating throughout the room. Hermione felt it in the floor beneath her. 'TELL HER NOW!'

Draco's eyes closed and he leaned forward over her slowly. She could feel his breathing coming out in harsh pants against her cracked lips. 'Draco,' she whispered, trying to convey that she understood what was being asked of him.

Suddenly, Draco's eyes flew open and met hers with such force, such passion, that Hermione was momentarily transported away from the mansion, into a place of beauty and warmth. She knew then that Lucius was not playing with her.

'Hermione,' Draco said in a strong, loud voice, bringing his face closer to hers, 'Hermione, I love you so damned much. Don't listen to the bastard. It isn't over yet. You fight, you fucking fight and get the hell away from here. I won't let him kill you. I love you too much to see that happen.' He met her halfway in a searing kiss that tasted of blood, sweat, salt, and passion. It wasn't fair, none of this was fair.

She heard the bellows of rage coming from Lucius behind her and only had another moment to taste the essence of Draco Malfoy, before the spell hit them and they were thrown across the room to slam into walls or furniture, whichever got in the way first.

'This is how you repay me?' Lucius shouted from somewhere to the left. Hermione could hear Draco groaning in pain from behind her and to the right. Her world was a haze of blackness and pain. When would this all end?

Hermione listened to his booted steps draw closer and heard a shifting in the rubble around her. She rolled over and cracked her eyes, holding in a groan at the pain. She watched as Lucius walked past her, ignoring her broken body. He stopped before the still figure of Draco, contemplating it for a second before bringing his foot back and kicking his son as hard as he could. Draco slid across the floor from the force of it, his cry of pain, deafening Hermione.

'Your fate is decided. You worthless excuse for a Malfoy,' Lucius said coldly, regarding his heir as though he were looking at a filthy rag. His wand raised and aimed at Draco's heart. Hermione saw the wounded boy stir and his eyes open. Her heart dropped as Draco's eyes met hers. She saw acceptance there. She grew angry but knew she couldn't show it. Now, here, in this moment she would hold his gaze and return the passion she saw reflected in his eyes. He would die knowing she cared. And she would die immediately after knowing she had been loved so completely.

'Time to die for your sin,' Lucius whispered to the cold, empty room. Hermione saw the tears begin to leak from Draco's eyes and a tension begin to form. 'Avada-'

Hermione gasped as his words were cut off by a figure in green velvet throwing themselves in front of Draco, wand pointed at Lucius.

'You will NOT harm MY son!' Narcissa Malfoy said coldly to her husband. 'You will have to go through me first.'

'Then so be it, my love' Lucius growled out without hesitation.

Then, before Hermione knew what was happening, all hell really broke loose.

* * *

**A/N: I AM EVIL! HAHAHAHAHAAaaaaa**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!**

**Love, Ally  
****'She goes left and you stay right  
****Between the lines of fear and blame  
****You begin to wonder why you came'**


	28. How To Save A Life (Part 3)

**Chapter 28: How to Save a Life (Part 3)**

**Author: Ally (Hafthand)**

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: It has literally been years. This is not the ending I intended, and maybe not the ending you all wanted, but I felt I owed it to myself and everyone to finish this. Thank you everyone. Thank you.**

* * *

Hermione lay helpless on the floor as she watched the drama unfold before. Never before in her life had she felt so useless and less in control; even when Lucius and his cronies had made her their toy two years earlier. Not even then.

'Mother,' came Draco's pleading voice from across the hall.

Draco. She could focus on Draco. The sight of his broken body and the pain in his eyes as he watched his mother square off against his father forced her to stop feeling sorry for herself and ignited a spark of fight within her.

She shifted her body as she watched Remus and Arthur Weasley battle Deatheaters at the rear entrance to the hall. How they came to be here, Hermione did not care. They were here. They were fighting.

She watched as Blaise Zabini seemingly appeared from nowhere to slowly and stealthily make his silent way to Draco's prone form. He was here. He was fighting.

She watched as Draco shouted 'No!' repeatedly to his mother. He was here. He was fighting.

She watched as Narcissa Malfoy squared off against her husband, going against years of ingrained servitude. She was here. She was fighting.

Hermione fought the pain as she sat her body up. Her eyes met Blaise's behind Draco and for a moment she saw a look of understanding cross the boy's face. She had never held a conversation with Blaise, but in this moment they were connected by a bond stronger than any she had shared outside of Harry, Ron, and yes, even Draco.

Hermione wiggled over to the broken glass to her left and, in more pain than she had ever been in, proceeded to try and cut her bonds behind her back. She was momentarily distracted by the shouting and the fighting, but she refocused on her task as she watched Lucius brandish his wand in Narcissa's direction.

'Time to die, Love. Knew I should have been rid of you years ago. Look what you have done to our son,' Lucius spit out, gesturing harshly to Draco. Whether he noticed Blaise attempting to free Draco or not, Hermione couldn't tell. Either way, he ignored both of them.

'I might be harder to kill then you think,' Narcissa said to her husband steely. Hermione did not know where the strength in this woman was coming from, but she could kiss her for buying them all the time they needed.

'Well, I won't kill you until you suffer. I will make you watch our son die. Avada Kedavra!' Lucius shouted as he turned and thrust his wand towards Draco.

'NO!' echoed from three voices. Hermione watched in slow motion as the spell made its way towards Draco's body. His eyes shifted to hers and she met his gaze as she screamed to the fates. She watched as Narcissa threw herself bodily at Lucius, but too late to divert the spell. Just when she thought she would watch him die she watched the surprise register on Draco's face as Blaise threw himself over Draco's body while shouting a spell she couldn't make out.

The spell hit Blaise and the loudest explosion Hermione had ever heard reverberated throughout the house. The green seemed to shatter against something and scatter to the wind, but still Blaise's body was flung lifelessly across the room into the walls and landed with a sickening crunch.

'NO!' was this time ripped from Draco's throat. Hermione watched in relief as he finally threw off the ropes that had impeded him. Hermione glanced quickly at Blaise's body and prayed silently to whomever was listening that his soul would be safe. She thought sadly that she had never known the boy; a boy who had given his life for his friend.

'You see!' shouted Lucius. 'You see what your love does? It kills!' And whether he was addressing Narcissa or Draco, Hermione would never know. Draco suddenly rushed his father and tackled him to the ground.

Hermione doubled her efforts to free herself as she watched the two Malfoy men forget magic and fight with flesh. So consumed was her focus that she jumped when a light touch landed on her shoulder. Hermione looked up and was met with the cold gaze of Narcissa Malfoy.

'We don't have much time,' Narcissa said calmly as she reached behind Hermione and undid the ropes. Then she grasped Hermione's arm and helped her stand.

'Thank you,' Hermione managed to croak out.

'Enough,' Narcissa stated, and when Hermione looked at her questioningly she noticed that Malfoy's mother's gaze was on her two men. 'More than enough I think,' she heard Narcissa mutter before she was once more met by the beauty's gaze. 'Voldemort would use Draco as his vessel and use your body to ensure his immortality. Do not let him. Tell my son I love him and I am not sorry.'

Hermione had only a moment to wonder what she meant before the woman strode away from her and raised her wand. Draco was suddenly flung away from his father. Both were bloody and panting. Lucius whirled on his wife viscously.

'You dare!?' he bellowed. Hermione noticed now how unhinged the man really was. He was beyond reason, beyond rage. She barely registered him pointing his wand at his wife before Hermione heard Draco moan in pain. She immediately turned and ran towards him. She slid to her knees and gasped at the amount of blood that covered him.

'Draco,' she whispered as she touched his cheek.

'Mmmmm,' he moaned and shifted into her touch. She watched as his eyes fluttered open and she was floored once again by the knowledge that this fallen angel loved her.

She reached down and helped him sit up her arm wrapping around his back to support him.

A sudden crashing sound interrupted their reunion and Hermione glanced up in time to see Narcissa's body come flying towards them in a flash of yellow. She covered Draco's body protectively but his mother's body slid to a stop just in front of them. The woman groaned and fought her way up to a standing position.

Once again, the world slowed. Hermione wondered at why the awful events always made sure you were able to catch every single detail. Hermione wondered at the cruelty of it. She watched as Narcissa glanced back briefly and smiled at her son before throwing herself in front of the curse that Lucius had sent towards them all.

A purple light enveloped Narcissa and her body seemed to hang momentarily, free of the weight she had carried for so long, free of the anger and hatred, simply free. Then she crumpled like a ragdoll to the ground, all life seemingly gone from the woman.

She felt the tension go out of Draco's body and when she turned to look at his face she was taken aback by the deadness she found there. She could hear Lucius laughing maniacally in the background. She could hear Remus shout her name from closer than she anticipated. She could sense the battle drawing to a close.

But none of that mattered.

Draco had turned to look at her and his eyes were burning into hers. 'You're all I have left now. I won't let him take that too,' Draco said softly, his bloodied hand rising and caressing his cheek. He leaned forward and kissed her softly and she felt her throat constrict in longing and fear. She broke away and smiled at him softly. She helped him rise and together they turned and faced their would-be executioner.

Lucius stood ten feet from them stepping over the body of his wife as though she were a rug beneath his feet. 'I have thought of something better than killing you son,' the man said with an energy Hermione did not understand how he could have. He stopped and raised his wand in front of them. It pointed at Hermione but as the smile grew on Lucius' face, Hermione watched in horror as he shifted its focus onto Draco. 'I am going to make you forget,' Lucius whispered.

Hermione's world stopped. It didn't slow. It stopped. She understood Lucius perfectly in that moment. She knew what his twisted and sadistic mind had come up with. He was going to wipe Draco's memory of his love, of his weakness. He was going to get what he wanted: loyal, mudblood hating Draco. He was going to win.

Hermione had fractions of a second to watch as Lucius began to vocalize the spell. She had a moment to propel her body in front of Draco's, her eyes locking on to his and begging him to understand that she was saving him. For Hermione knew, if he forgot, there would be no saving Draco Malfoy this time around. She could live with herself for having her memories wiped. She knew he would find her again and make her understand his love. She trusted him to raise her from the fog. She felt that she would one day grow to love this person. And as the spell hit her already fragile body, she saw the horror of what was about to happen hit Draco's face. She watched as the pain in his eyes morphed into surprise and then anguish. She watched as his mouth formed a shout she could not hear. Her mind whispered, 'Good-bye' to him as her world went dark and she felt herself fall into oblivion.

* * *

Hermione watched from a distance now, as the rest of the event played out. She had no memory of these things as she had not been conscious, but Voldemort was forcing her to watch the pain and death she had unknowingly caused. She watched as Draco stood frozen in a silent room cradling her unconscious body. She watched as he turned to his father and killed him, coldly, clinically. She watched as Remus and Arthur tried to pry her body from Draco. She watched as he broke down and finally fell apart in Remus' arms. She watched.

She watched.

Until her mind was forced back into her body and back into the present.

It felt as though she had fallen from the skies the force of the impact back into herself had her literally seeing stars. That is until she focused on the pale, snake-like face in front of her. Voldemort still held her against the wall, his finger still touching her forehead. She heard the sound of a body hitting something and a groan of pain.

What had lasted forever for her, had only seemed to last a minute in the present.

'You're mine now,' Voldemort hissed into her face. 'Whole again. Ready to bear forth my immortality.'

'You'll never win,' Hermione managed to croak out around his grip on her throat. 'I don't know what you hoped to accomplish by showing me that, but it has only made me want to fight you harder.'

Voldemort's eyes blazed and an ear-splitting laugh blasted her in the face.

'This Gryffindor courage you throw at me, do you really think one such as you can defeat me?' Voldemort asked, his finger falling from her forehead to draw a sharp line against her cheek.

Hermione smiled. 'No,' she said softly, looking pityingly at the Dark Lord. 'But they can.'

Hermione had been buying time. Over Voldemort's shoulder she had watched as Harry and Draco had come to on the couch. She would ask them later why Harry was lying on top of an unconscious Malfoy, but she had only felt strength and a surety she had never before known flood her veins.

As her words, Voldemort had turned just as the room was suddenly flooded with people.

Through the doors around her she watched as Remus, Neville, Luna, Tonks, Bill, Arthur, Snape, Kingsley and Fred entered, their wands raised.

'It's over, Tom,' came Harry's soft voice. Hermione turned and watched as Harry and Draco, as one, moved towards the Dark Lord, their wands never wavering.

'It'll never be over,' Voldemort hissed. Hermione watched in horror as he launched himself, faster than she would have ever imagined possible, at Harry. But somehow, as if he had known what was going to happen, Fred suddenly appeared in front of Voldemort, a great shield of magic surrounding him.

Voldemort, more distracted than anything, turned momentarily at the startling appearance of Fred, and avoided the shield.

The distraction proved enough however, as Harry had used the opportunity to speed to Voldemort's right side. He had pulled from his robes the silver dagger that had started this all and plunged it into Voldemort's head.

'Die, Tom. And leave me the fuck alone,' Harry said coldly as he followed Voldemort's body to the ground. A sudden light appeared from the dagger and began to envelop Harry and Voldemort. Draco ran across the room and grabbed Hermione, turning her to shield her eyes from the light. A loud hissing, almost scream like sound filled their ears and Hermione barely heard the others shouting and hitting the ground.

As suddenly as it had begun, it was over.

Hermione turned in Draco's arms and sought out Harry.

He was there, just as he had been before. His hands wrapped around the dagger on his knees over Voldemort's body. Hermione screamed in relief, joy, fatigue, everything. She felt Draco's arms tighten around her and she watched as Harry's body slumped slightly. His head moved upwards and she met his gaze.

Harry smiled at Hermione. Hermione smiled back.

'It's finally over,' Harry whispered. His fingers fell from the dagger and Hermione gasped as he shifted slightly and his hair moved from his face.

'What?' Draco asked.

'Your scar, Harry,' Hermione said. She left Draco's arms and walked gingerly over to Harry. She knelt down in front of him and carefully and lovingly brushed his hair from his forehead. She heard the others approach behind her and felt safe for the first time in a long while.

'Your scar is gone, Harry,' Hermione told him.

And after a moment, Hermione watched as the-Boy-who-lived broke down and finally cried.

* * *

**Epilogue**

'I love you,' she found herself saying in a room full of people.

They were back in the Burrow, only this time celebrating instead of mourning. At her words, the room had grown silent.

'I love you too, Hermione,' Fred said from behind her, 'but do you think that is appropriate to announce in front of Malfoy?'

Hermione couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as she turned as slapped the Weasley man that had grown into so much more than a simple friend.

'Fred Weasley!' Molly shouted from across the room.

'Back off, Weasley,' Draco suddenly said. 'I think she was talking to me this time.' And before Hermione could react he had grabbed her and turned her back to face him and proceeded to kiss her in front of everyone she knew.

Before she lost herself completely in the feeling, she heard Fred say to Harry, 'Don't be jealous, Potter, I know how much Malfoy means to you, but we'll find you someone else to love.'

The sound of laughter once again coming from the Weasley household propelled her happiness even further than she could have imagined possible and she lost herself in Draco's kiss.

Memories old and new would no longer be tainted by guilt, fear, and destruction. She would see to that.

* * *

**The End.**

**It has been a hell of a ride.**

**Love, Ally**


End file.
